So much better than your world. Everyone is smart and/or pretty! And even stupid people always get everything they want. In less than an hour! Don't you wish you were on TV?
Get on cable, though. Broadcast TV is so over. The new season has already started, but who even noticed?
Well, I did. I watched them all for you, the new scripted network series. Well, the non-reality series. Well the so-called dramas. And the so-called comedies. Some of them.
CSI: NY. This spin-off's pilot was run last season on spin-off CSI: Miami. It sucked. The gruel keeps getting thinner on these "franchises." Without the original CSI's cast, and writers, there's not much here to watch.
Hawaii. There has never been a good show made in or about the 50th state. This show carries on that tradition.
Jack & Bobby. OK, I give up. What the fuck is this show about? Wait, wait, don't tell me: I don't give a damn. Christine Lahti plays an extremely annoying woman. Oh, and there are two sons. One of 'em grows up to be President . . . Someday. The other one dies . . . Someday. Can't wait. Really. Can't wait: I give up. NEXT!
Joey. All that's left of Friends. Could be worse. Could be a lot better. Whatever happened to those Friends writers? They should have a show.
LAX. Two really stupid people, once considered "hot," like way back in the 80's, I guess, try to run an airport when they're not bickering about petty bullshit. FASCINATING! It does explain LAX, though. The real one. What a mess. The show, too. (PS: It's not a comedy. Well, it's not funny, either...)
Listen Up. George Costanza, weakened still further by kryptonite, ruins another show. Maybe a beard. Or a toupe? Or another actor altogether. And writers. Yeah, get some, like, funny writers, too.
Medical Investigation. CSI, it's not. Even good actors have trouble spitting out wooden dialogue. By the time the "exciting" conclusion finally rolls around, you just don't care any more. Get some writers, guys.
Lost. See above, re Hawaii shows.
The Mountain. Let's hope it can act.
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