Laugh Till You Cry
Someone asked Bush if he wasn't lowering the bar at the White House. He replied, "Heck, no, I can barely crawl out of that dang bar now!"
At a recent White House briefing, a reporter asked Bush's Press Secretary whether the President wasn't now going to be following a strict Republican party line.
The snippy response: "There IS no 'Party Line'!!!"
"Dubya snorted it!" yelled some wag in the back of the room
Three foreign journalists were then frog-marched away by Homeland Security, and have not been seen since.
Rumour has it, they're in Gitmo, for the duration. And, they may have been FRENCH!
A Maine State Trooper pulled over Dubya, one night recently, outside of Kennebunkport.
"Wazza prol'em, occifer," enquired the President.
"Good evening, sir. Are you aware that you were driving without your lights on, on the wrong side of the road, at double the posted speed limit? And you appear to me to be... impaired."
"Waaaaaall... you appear ta me ta be awl bah yersef!!!
'R' yew aware who AH am?
Waaaaaaaaall.. Ah'll till ya, AHM the Prdisen a na OOnited Estates!"
"Sir, are you aware that this is now a blue State? Step out of the car, please..."
Dubya, on a recent visit to an Army hospital tending to grievously wounded soldiers returned from the war in Iraq, stopped by the bedside of one particularly horrible case. The poor man had lost half of his face, one arm and one leg.
Dubya sized him up, and with that well-known common charm, asked, "Damn, boy! Where's yer FACE?"
Nonplussed, the trooper wheezed, painfully, "I lost it outside of Najaf, Mr. President."
"Heh-heh. Well hell, son! Lemme jes' send ya back over there ta LOOK fer it!" turning to the cameras for a grin.
A voter complained to Dubya that she'd had trouble with the new electronic voting machines.
"Dang it!" Dubya replied,"Carl said them machines was all FIXED!"
Elizabeth Edwards Diagnosed With Breast Cancer
Carl Rove: "DAMN! Why didn't I think of that? Laura?"
US Warplane Strafes School in New Jersey
Take THAT, public education!
Putin Signs Kyoto Climate Accord
DAMN! Bush even makes them ROOSKIES look good!
French Press Say Arafat "Brain Dead"
But his great, good heart is still OK, right...?
Islamist Shoots Film-Maker Van Gogh
"I was only trying to get his ear."
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