IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD
FAR BE IT FOR ME TO BE POSITIVE . . .
But It's Not So Bad, Everything, Right Now
If you get too far stuck in all this political bullshit, you might forget how good life is, for most of us. Even in hard times, we have our friends, our families, our dozens of slavish lovers. Well, I do, anyway. You may need to work on that.
There's also cake, and champagne, and foot massages, and bicycle rides on brisk autumn days, and kewl shit like that. As long as you have somebody to care about, and somebody to care about you, you're not doing so bad. (If not, get the hell off the Internets and hook up, Baby!)
Yeah, OK, Bush is the anti-Christ, and Armegeddon is fast approaching, but so is le beaujolais nouveau! And things have actually been worse in the past: Ask any Holocaust survivor. (But, like, at a bus stop; not when you're trapped in their house or something. You really don't want to hear the whole schpiel. They have a tendency to just go on and on, and then they start crying, and OY VEY ALREADY!)
It really helps to have some historical perspective. In the Forties you had this awful war thing, but still, some good music, and clothes. In the Fifties you had the Red Scare and Jerry Lewis, but TV and Rock'N'Roll were born then, too. In the Sixties, the seething racial tensions and an undeclared war fought mostly by the underclass made it really hard to have sex with poor people. But drugs were becoming readily available, and you could get each other high and then screw. Then, in the Seventies, you had that asshole Nixon, and Disco. But everybody could screw anybody, and there was Cable, and VCRs, and Pong, for the unscrewable.
In the Eighties, a nice old man from Hollywood almost destroyed the Republic, and started World War III; but then he got Alzheimers, and started babbling about Star Wars (not the movie) and The Evil Empire (again, not the George Lucas one) and let the Soviet Union collapse all by itself. Which was decent. And porn became available EVERYWHERE, so you could always screw yourself, and with a bitchin' soundtrack. In the Nineties, this bunch of assholes in Congress just kept trying to fuck up everybody's wet dream, to no avail: Even a President from Arkansas could get a blow job from a nice Jewish girl. This was ground-breaking. We take it for granted today. You wouldn't BELIEVE how hard that used to be!
So, now here we are in the... Wait, what the fuck did we decide to call this decade? Well, it can't be all that bad, if it doesn't even have a name. Hm. Well, anyway, have a nice day. And remember, IT COULD BE WORSE! And, someday, it will be. Now, go on out and hook up at some political rally and GET YER COOKIES!!! Just remember, in the morning, you might find yourself waking up next to somebody you actually like. Exercise caution. And use protection, you dweeb. (Jeez, NOBODYS unfuckable, these days! Have you seen that show with Ozzy Osborne's daughter? OY VEY!)
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