COMMANDER IN CHIEF ON DECK

TEN HUT!

Men, And Uh, Woman, The President Of The United States:

"Hey, yawl! Ha yawl dewin? I George Dubya Bush, yer ofyshul Commander In Chief, has discoverated a new problem among are freedom fiters hear in The Iraqi. Seems like they don't got enuff metal and glas and stuff. Well, lemme tell ya. I'm gunna git to the botom a this. Somebody must be in charge over there. An I'm gunna find out who.

Rumsy sez its the dam ole army what did it. I'mna fine out whos in charge of the dam ole Army too. You betcha. Im tellin' ya, we had no idear bout any prolems in the Iraqi. OAK, thatswhut we hurd. Wunner who dun it, eviously.

When I do find out who, my Chrisschun Faith will probly show me the way of it. I'll punish the evildoers, an re ward thegood. Cuz are souljers derseves the best that lover money kin by. Ifn they kin by some metal & stuf, they shud be alow to. I'mna writea law on that soonest I gits basck home. Caws I luv em agin an agin.

I'm tarred now, an I need some rest too. And a drink. jesus Lord I need me a big ol' drink. Cutthat part. See my new jacket? It's offyshul militaried stuff. I get get all the bes stuff. Heh-heh.Git these here mens an wimmins some nice new jakkets jes like this one, pronto, good buddy. Only the bes fer ma troop. No extry charge. Gwan, kill somebody, kids! I said its OK! Jesus sez OK too! Thems aint chrisshuns!

Aw, hell, I'mna puke..."


[President George W. Bush, addressing stop-lossed troops interned at a makeshift camp near Lackland Air Force Base, awaiting transportation to Iraq.]




"Bush: Soldiers’ equipment gripes heard"

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