"YOU GO TO WAR WITH THE ARMY YOU HAVE"

"NOT THE ARMY YOU MIGHT WANT"

"You Can Have All The Armor In The World On A Tank And A Tank Can Be Blown Up. And You Can Have An Up-Armored Humvee And It Can Be Blown Up."

--Secretary of Defense (for now), Donald F.U. Rumsfeld

Ahem.

My entry in the American Street Poetry Contest, based on Rumsfeld's latest brilliant quip:


sound off, one, two,
sound off, three, four,

i don't know but i been told
eskimo poontang's mighty cold
no one said that life was fair
so quit your whinin' over there

you go to war with the army you have
(us damned have-nots, 'specially)
not the army you wish you had
(an army of other guys, hopefully)

even a tank can get blown up
(an army no one wants to see)
in war there's never a guarantee
(why oh god does it gotta be me?)

hut-two-three-four
the army owns your ass for four
five-six-seven-eight
it's your recruiter you should hate

HOO-HAH!



You might remember the doo-wah-ditties from the movie "Stripes," with Bill Murray. Here's some actual "cadence-calls," marching-chants, Army songs:

JODY CHANT (SOUND OFF 2)

Am I right or wrong?
You right!
Am I right or wrong?
You right!
Am I right? You know I'm right
So tell me!
You right!

Jody was home when you left
When you left. Right!
Jody was home when you left
When you left. Right!
You had a good wife and you had a good home when you left! Right
But Jody was home when you left
When you left. Right!

Ain't no use in goin' home
Jody got yo' gal an gone
Am I right? You know I'm right
So tell me!
You right!

Every time you stamp yo' feet
Jody gets a piece of meat.
Am I right etc.

Ain't no use in goin' back
Jody got yo' Cadillac
Am I right etc.

Ain't no use in feelin' blue
Jody got your sister, too
Am I right etc.

Ain't no use to mourn an' grieve
Jody's gone, I do believe
Am I right etc.


"JODY CHANT (SOUND OFF 2)"


"Iraq-Bound Troops Confront Rumsfeld Over Lack of Armor"


"Oh Goody. Another Freakin’ Contest."

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