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Friday, January 11, 2008

EXTREME UNCTION

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QUADRENNIAL RITUAL ANOINTMENT


CANDIDATES LINE UP FOR MEDIA OILING


May The Oiliest One Win (They Always Do)



While Average Joe and his insignificant Other muddle on, keeping the Labor, Housing, and Walmarkets going, paying taxes left & right for things they never heard of, avoiding or rarely getting sucked into military service in countries they never heard of, obeying laws they never heard of, and generally being Real Americans, soon with the papers to prove it, their richers-and-betters have been extra-busy. It's Electile Dysfunction time. Again. And there's no boner pill big enough to stop it.


Once again, the wealthiest people in the world gather in the ineffable darkness to chose a front-man, a fall-guy, and, if need be, a moving target on a Texas street. After months of careful winnowing in such worldly intellectual hot-spots of cultural and political pluralism as Ames, Iowa and Nashua, New Hampshire, the next straight white rich right-wing American late-middle-aged man will be chosen to mislead the free world (actually, there's a small monthly fee, now). Or not.


OK, so this year we have a black guy. And a woman. Somehow, out of 300 million, they managed to pick a black guy that black people aren't all that crazy about, and a woman many women hate. So, I guess we'll see which white guy gets it. Or not.


That's just the primaries. After that farce is over, we have Conventions, when Parties pretend to consider the results of the Primaries. Then they offer up the white guy they had in mind all along. The whitest one possible. And then we elect him. Or not.


If we fail to choose the right white guy, the one farthest right, then the Electoral College, or the Congress, or the Supreme Court picks that guy for us. It's a simple system, and it works perfectly. Or not.


At every step in this incredibly boring, mean and meaningless process, there are ritual anointments by the media. No candidate is allowed to proceed without being so oiled. Any who try will be deliberately ignored, ridiculed, marginalized, attacked, blacked-out, scandalized, savaged and kept out of debates. Even so inoffensive a figure as Cleveland's own Dennis Kucinich can be refused the Unctus Sanctus. In fact, anyone straying from the "mainstream", as determined by those who invented it, and sell it to us in jock-itch and douche ads, will find him- or her- self pretty much erased from the historical process. Or not.


Of course, this does not apply to the extreme right. Racists, Nativists, gun-nuts, Jesus-freaks, militarists, Imperialists, corporatists and crypto-nazi hate-mongers of all shapes, sizes and, well, not colors, or genders, although we do allow Jews and Mormons, now, if they're far Right enough, all are welcome: The farther from the internationally-recognized political Center, the better. The farther Right, that is. Being even a nanometer Left of center is cause for banishment. We don't 'llow no commonists round these here parts. And no socialists, democratic, Christian or otherwise. And no Labor Parties, or even mere Liberals, if only in name. Half of the real-world political spectrum is banned in the USA. So we get one opinion, based on one belief, from one Party masquerading as two. And sixty per cent vote None Of The Above, consistently. Or not.


Quite a story, eh? Or not. Somehow, it eludes the corporate media. And so they are losing the election, too, to NOTA. We're tired of their unctious bullshit. We don't need or want their bland endorsement of the status quo, nor their shrill condemnations of any possible improvement. No one reads newspapers or watches TV news any more for the same reason that no one votes any more: It's all bullshit. It doesn't correspond to our reality. We don't care about it. It is meaningless to us. If anyone is going to be silenced, it should be the corporate media itself. Or not.


So, we'll be here, just bloggin' on. Or not.

(Here's an example:
Dear Dennis, You're hereby uninvited to the debate)

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