MORE WHITE TRASH JOKES
.
REDNECKS, CRACKERS, OFAYS, CASPERS, GHOSTS, WHITEYS, HONKYS, HILLBILLIES, PECKERWOODS, WHITE TRASH, SOUTHERNERS BEWARE
WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT YOU: ETHNIC JOKES ON THE "NON-ETHNIC"
It's A Black Thing, You Wouldn't Understand
What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.
Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.
What did they white guy do before his blood test?
He studied.
What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass!
Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 200 black guys?
A: "Warden"
What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile?
A taxi.
What do you say when you see a white man carrying a TV?
"Excuse me sir, you dropped your receipt!"
What do you call a white man in court?
The lawyer.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA
What's black and white and comes in little white cans?
Michael Jackson
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.
One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."
What do you call a school bus full of white-kids?
A twinkie.
What do you call a red-neck's family get together?
An orgy.
What do you call the K.K.K. getting held up by a robber?
Cracker Jack.
NASA asked this elder Indian guy to record a message to put on their newest SETI satellite, along with messages from other cultures and languages. He records the message, the satellite is launched, and one day CNN broadcasts the messages being sent into outer space from the spacecraft. A huge belly laugh is heard coming from the entire northern portion of Arizona. When CNN asks why the people are laughing, a man from Chinle tells them, "The message says that if they are hearing this, to stay quiet and don't respond, because as soon as the white man knows where those aliens live, they'll come over for dinner, and end up NEVER going home!"
Whats long and hard on a peckerwood????
The third grade.
What do you call a peckerwood in a suit and tie?
The accused
How do you get a one armed peckerwood out of a tree??
Wave to him.
What do caviar and michael jackson have in common?
Both come on little crackers
A guy sit down in a bar, has a few drinks. He's getting tipsy, asks the tender if he wants to hear a Georgia Cracker joke. The bartender shakes his head no.
A few more drinks later, the man says, "Are you sure you don't want to hear it?! It's a good one!" And the tender again tells him no.
Finally after a few more beers, this man is smashed, and he said, "It's the best friggin' Georgia Cracker joke you'll ever hear!" The bartender leans over and says, "Look pal - That guy down there (points to a huge man) is a Georgia Cracker, this guy Joe (points to another huge guy down the other end of the bar), he's one too. And you know what? I'm a Georgia Cracker too! You sure you want to tell this joke?!"
The guy looks at the two men and back at the bartender and says, "No ... I don't want to have to repeat myself so many times."
Q: Why did the Hillbilly cross the road?
A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
This West Virginia boy came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing. "Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"
Q: What do you do if a Redneck throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
An Chicagoan, a New Yorker and a Texan were captured by the Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years, but I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away." The Chicagoan says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer. The New Yorker says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy. The Texan says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes. Five years later, the Germans come to release their prisoners. First, they release the Chicagoan, who staggers out totally drunk. Then, they release the New Yorker, who also rolls out rather inebriated. Then, they release the Texan, who comes out and says, "Has anyone got a light?"
A Redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women. "Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?" "Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way." "Wow! Thanks!" says the Redneck, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies. So the Redneck goes back to the Frenchman. "I'm sorry to bother you again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl." "Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way." "Thanks!" says the Redneck, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him. After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to the Frenchman. "Look," the Redneck says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach-- and still nothing! What more can I do?" "Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don't you try moving zee potato to the *front* of zee sweeming suit?"
Q: Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
A: Lawrence of Alabama.
A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Arkansas sausage."
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Arkansan?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something." If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Arkansan just because I ask for Arkansas sausage?"
The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."
Q: How did the Southern mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
A: Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!
Q: Did you hear about the Southerner that locked his keys in his car?
A: He had to use a coat hanger to get his family out.
Q: How do you ruin a Southerner's party?
A: Flush the punch bowl.
Q: Why did the Oklahoma couple decide to have only 4 children?
A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.
Q: What did the Florida mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's yours?"
Q: What does a Louisiana girl do after she sucks cock?
A: Spits out the feathers.
A Southern worker is hired to paint the lines on the road. On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed. But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road. Disappointed his boss asks what the problem was. The Southerner replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."
Q: What does it say on the bottom of a Coke bottle in Tennessee?
A: Open other end.
Q: How do you break a Virginian's finger?
A: Hit him on the nose.
By now, almost everyone has heard of the famous North Carolina orchestra whose players stopped periodically to clean the saliva out of their instruments. What`s remarkable about that? It was a string orchestra.
Did you hear about the Kentucky boy that keeps a store of empty bottles? It`s for his friends that don`t drink.
A passer-by watched two South Carolinians in a park. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again.
'Tell me, 'said the passer-by, 'What on earth are you doing?'
'Well, 'said the digger, 'Usually there are three of us. I dig, Luke plants the tree and Cooter fills in the hole.
Today Luke is out sick, but that doesn't mean me and Cooter have to take the day off, does it?'
A man from Mississippi was suffering from pains in his knees, so he visited the doctor.
"You're suffering from a disease that we medical experts call "kneeitis", said the doctor. "Take it easy for a month or so and above all don't climb any stairs. That puts a terrible strain on the knees."
A month later the Mississippian returned and after a brief examination was found to have recovered completely.
"Can I climb the stairs now Doctor?"
"Certainly," replied the Doctor.
"Thank Heavens," said the Mississippian, "I was getting tired of climbing up the drainpipe every time I wanted to go to the toilet."
Other "WHITE TRASH JOKES"
.
.
IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR BLOGGERS:
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!
REDNECKS, CRACKERS, OFAYS, CASPERS, GHOSTS, WHITEYS, HONKYS, HILLBILLIES, PECKERWOODS, WHITE TRASH, SOUTHERNERS BEWARE
WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT YOU: ETHNIC JOKES ON THE "NON-ETHNIC"
It's A Black Thing, You Wouldn't Understand
What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.
Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.
What did they white guy do before his blood test?
He studied.
What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass!
Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 200 black guys?
A: "Warden"
What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile?
A taxi.
What do you say when you see a white man carrying a TV?
"Excuse me sir, you dropped your receipt!"
What do you call a white man in court?
The lawyer.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA
What's black and white and comes in little white cans?
Michael Jackson
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.
One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."
What do you call a school bus full of white-kids?
A twinkie.
What do you call a red-neck's family get together?
An orgy.
What do you call the K.K.K. getting held up by a robber?
Cracker Jack.
NASA asked this elder Indian guy to record a message to put on their newest SETI satellite, along with messages from other cultures and languages. He records the message, the satellite is launched, and one day CNN broadcasts the messages being sent into outer space from the spacecraft. A huge belly laugh is heard coming from the entire northern portion of Arizona. When CNN asks why the people are laughing, a man from Chinle tells them, "The message says that if they are hearing this, to stay quiet and don't respond, because as soon as the white man knows where those aliens live, they'll come over for dinner, and end up NEVER going home!"
Whats long and hard on a peckerwood????
The third grade.
What do you call a peckerwood in a suit and tie?
The accused
How do you get a one armed peckerwood out of a tree??
Wave to him.
What do caviar and michael jackson have in common?
Both come on little crackers
A guy sit down in a bar, has a few drinks. He's getting tipsy, asks the tender if he wants to hear a Georgia Cracker joke. The bartender shakes his head no.
A few more drinks later, the man says, "Are you sure you don't want to hear it?! It's a good one!" And the tender again tells him no.
Finally after a few more beers, this man is smashed, and he said, "It's the best friggin' Georgia Cracker joke you'll ever hear!" The bartender leans over and says, "Look pal - That guy down there (points to a huge man) is a Georgia Cracker, this guy Joe (points to another huge guy down the other end of the bar), he's one too. And you know what? I'm a Georgia Cracker too! You sure you want to tell this joke?!"
The guy looks at the two men and back at the bartender and says, "No ... I don't want to have to repeat myself so many times."
Q: Why did the Hillbilly cross the road?
A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
This West Virginia boy came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing. "Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"
Q: What do you do if a Redneck throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
An Chicagoan, a New Yorker and a Texan were captured by the Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years, but I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away." The Chicagoan says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer. The New Yorker says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy. The Texan says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes. Five years later, the Germans come to release their prisoners. First, they release the Chicagoan, who staggers out totally drunk. Then, they release the New Yorker, who also rolls out rather inebriated. Then, they release the Texan, who comes out and says, "Has anyone got a light?"
A Redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women. "Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?" "Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way." "Wow! Thanks!" says the Redneck, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies. So the Redneck goes back to the Frenchman. "I'm sorry to bother you again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl." "Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way." "Thanks!" says the Redneck, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him. After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to the Frenchman. "Look," the Redneck says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach-- and still nothing! What more can I do?" "Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don't you try moving zee potato to the *front* of zee sweeming suit?"
Q: Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
A: Lawrence of Alabama.
A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Arkansas sausage."
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Arkansan?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something." If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Arkansan just because I ask for Arkansas sausage?"
The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."
Q: How did the Southern mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
A: Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!
Q: Did you hear about the Southerner that locked his keys in his car?
A: He had to use a coat hanger to get his family out.
Q: How do you ruin a Southerner's party?
A: Flush the punch bowl.
Q: Why did the Oklahoma couple decide to have only 4 children?
A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.
Q: What did the Florida mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's yours?"
Q: What does a Louisiana girl do after she sucks cock?
A: Spits out the feathers.
A Southern worker is hired to paint the lines on the road. On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed. But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road. Disappointed his boss asks what the problem was. The Southerner replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."
Q: What does it say on the bottom of a Coke bottle in Tennessee?
A: Open other end.
Q: How do you break a Virginian's finger?
A: Hit him on the nose.
By now, almost everyone has heard of the famous North Carolina orchestra whose players stopped periodically to clean the saliva out of their instruments. What`s remarkable about that? It was a string orchestra.
Did you hear about the Kentucky boy that keeps a store of empty bottles? It`s for his friends that don`t drink.
A passer-by watched two South Carolinians in a park. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again.
'Tell me, 'said the passer-by, 'What on earth are you doing?'
'Well, 'said the digger, 'Usually there are three of us. I dig, Luke plants the tree and Cooter fills in the hole.
Today Luke is out sick, but that doesn't mean me and Cooter have to take the day off, does it?'
A man from Mississippi was suffering from pains in his knees, so he visited the doctor.
"You're suffering from a disease that we medical experts call "kneeitis", said the doctor. "Take it easy for a month or so and above all don't climb any stairs. That puts a terrible strain on the knees."
A month later the Mississippian returned and after a brief examination was found to have recovered completely.
"Can I climb the stairs now Doctor?"
"Certainly," replied the Doctor.
"Thank Heavens," said the Mississippian, "I was getting tired of climbing up the drainpipe every time I wanted to go to the toilet."
Other "WHITE TRASH JOKES"
.
.
Labels: MOCKING WHITEY, REDNECK FUNNIES, WHITE TRASH JOKES, WHITE-BOY HUMOR
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posted by Cosa Nostradamus @ 6/30/2008 12:04:00 AM
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