STOP THE PRESSES!!!
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NEWS FLASH!!
ALL PROGRAMMING WILL BE SUSPENDED FOR 24/7 SPECIAL COVERAGE!
Breaking News: Somebody Fucked Somebody Else
This has never happened to any living organism in the whole history of the universe and beyond, since the beginning of time. The entire population of the solar system was shocked today by the revelation that someone they don't personally know and have only vaguely ever heard of may have had sex, allegedly, with someone else no one knows. Everyone else's life came to a complete halt as every last one of us was frozen in shock, waiting for the media, the government, or some local religious outlet, to tell us exactly what to think, feel, say and do about this earth-shattering experience. All other business, no matter how important, is forgotten forever.
How easy life was yesterday! We had only the war, the economy, terrorism, unemployment, the election, inflation, AIDS, poisoned food; poor education, housing, health care and transportation services; high taxes, government corruption and incompetence, and our own personal problems to think about. Oh, if only those simpler times were back! If only no one had ever fucked anyone! Oh, woe is me!! WOE IS ME!!! Will this fucking never cease?
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IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR BLOGGERS:
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!
NEWS FLASH!!
ALL PROGRAMMING WILL BE SUSPENDED FOR 24/7 SPECIAL COVERAGE!
Breaking News: Somebody Fucked Somebody Else
This has never happened to any living organism in the whole history of the universe and beyond, since the beginning of time. The entire population of the solar system was shocked today by the revelation that someone they don't personally know and have only vaguely ever heard of may have had sex, allegedly, with someone else no one knows. Everyone else's life came to a complete halt as every last one of us was frozen in shock, waiting for the media, the government, or some local religious outlet, to tell us exactly what to think, feel, say and do about this earth-shattering experience. All other business, no matter how important, is forgotten forever.
How easy life was yesterday! We had only the war, the economy, terrorism, unemployment, the election, inflation, AIDS, poisoned food; poor education, housing, health care and transportation services; high taxes, government corruption and incompetence, and our own personal problems to think about. Oh, if only those simpler times were back! If only no one had ever fucked anyone! Oh, woe is me!! WOE IS ME!!! Will this fucking never cease?
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Labels: affair, career-ender, cheats, edwards, extramarital, feeding-frenzy, infidelity, media, sex, staffer, unfaithful, wife
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posted by Cosa Nostradamus @ 8/13/2008 12:03:00 AM
View blog reactions
2 Comments:
OMG, Cosa this is hilarious...
"Somebody Fucked Somebody Else"
I'm rolling...
(Those Puritan/Pilgrim hats...LOL)
Thanks,
=RD=
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Yeah. Thanks.
I just don't understand the fascination with the personal lives of complete strangers. But then, I don't slow down on the highway to see the hamburger after an accident, either. Obviously, the people who do are the audience for this shit. Me, I have a fucking life.
It's so hypocritical of these media assholes, all of whom are, by job description, completely amoral, and most of them, by temperment, utterly immoral, desperately chasing ratings with pornographic displays of anti-sexual "outrage."
I guess nobody will listen to their shit unless they talk about sex. That just makes them cheap, uninteresting whores. They're in no position to criticize anybody else.
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