BOOB TUBE: THE NEW FALL TV SERIES - 2008 SEASON
OH BOY TV FOR FREE
AND WORTH IT, TOO
We Watch So You Don't Have To
A. "The Turbinado"
Beet sugar from the future takes over Rupert Murdoch's Skynet & kills him: SWEET!
An exceptionally timid but brilliant doctor tries to save people's lives with his mad diagnostic skills. But he's too shy to offer his help, so everyone dies: A NON-STARTER.
A. "Bikini FBI"
No script yet, but great visuals: ONE WORD: CAMEL-TOE!
B. "Law & Order SUV"
Detectives in a large vehicle hunt criminals in the suburbs: A SHOW ABOUT NOTHING, AND PLENTY OF IT.
A. "Bad Cops"
Unprofessional, corrupt, brutal, racist incompetent police officers ruin innocent people's lives over petty infractions on video in a different city every week: AT LAST A REAL REALITY SHOW: TWO THUMBS BROKEN!
B. "Disparate House-Husbands"
Various ideologically-driven female politicians' husbands band together in Washington DC: A SAUSAGE-FEST.
Realty/ game show/ talent contest where 12 singer-songwriters all live together in one pup-tent on a patch of grass on Hollywood Boulevard until they can't stand it any more, and then they commit ritual seppuku onstage one by one while singing and/ or dancing for America's love. Winners eat losers' offal: VOTE EARLY & VOTE OFTEN!
B. "CSCU: Tacoma"
Crime-scene clean-up crews get down to the nitty gritty after the investigating part is over: CAN'T WAIT FOR SWEEPS WEEK: CHUCK IT NOW!
A. "Celebrity Sex-Change Kitchen Nightmares"
Celebrity has-beens, wannabees and impersonators take over a different hospital cafeteria every week and try to turn it into a gourmet dining destination for pre- and post-op transsexuals, overnight. Each week, the winning chef has to give the losing chef a sex change, using only kitchen utensils: FABULOUS!!!
Incredibly rich women sit around all day whining and "dishing" their friends, then go shopping. THE NAME SAYS IT ALL.
Shows you deliberately missed earlier in the week are on again tonight: HEY, IT'S SATURDAY. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO BESIDES F*CK?"
B. "America's Next Top Naked Baby Home Videos"
This is the night that all the major networks reserve for kiddie-porn: I GUESS THEY THINK NO ONE IS WATCHING.
A. "Krystal's Kathedral"
Washed-up alcoholic country-western wannabee singer marries closeted gay televangelist to "save" him after he is caught at a Republican Party fundraiser servicing everyone under the banquet tables. He in turn tries to "save" her each week from her addictions to booze, cigars and morbidly obese Cuban mulatto's: AN INSTANT HIT!
B. "Masturbate Theater"
Evidently, the English do it too: DON'T LOOK, DON'T LOOK, DON'T LOOK!!!
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