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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

ALIENS LAND ON OUTER PLANET

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HUGE SHIP IMPACTS GAS GIANT JUPITER

YOUTUBE: NASA
"Comet Shoemaker Levy colliding with Jupiter"
The First Alien Expedition crash lands on Jupiter; July 16, 1994.


AND SO IT BEGINS...!!!

SPACE.COM
"This image shows a large impact on Jupiter's south polar region captured on July 16, 2009."
The Second Alien Expedition lands safely on Jupiter; July 16, 2009.


Experts Theorize Extraterrestrial Visitors Might Be Bigger Than Dinosaurs On A Ship The Size Of Earth

Cthulu? Leviathan? Beelzebub? Something gigantic may be headed towards Earth. Planetologists are hoping that the new presence on our Solar System's biggest planet will stay where it is. Exobiologists are hoping the ET's will visit Earth and give us a chance to dissect them like sashimi. The military is reaching out to science guys and gals both hard and soft, trying to anticipate the alien visitors' next move.

United States Air Force Major General Clarke "Fudge" Whittimer, commander of the elite Space Interdiction Force, or SPINFO, a veteran of the meteorite attacks on NORAD HQ in 1999 (kept secret until now) warned that whoever was responsible for that sudden highly directed shower of molten molybdenimitium might be using Jupiter as a base for their next attack on our planet. "It can't be coincidence: Exactly fifteen years to the day after another gigantic object hit Jupiter, and on the anniversary of our first Moon landing: This is a definite message, and a warning: They're claiming our solar system, and telling us to back off. The Galactic Ark colony ship is almost ready, so we're hoping to save most of our military, political and financial geniuses and start a new master race with the supermodels already on board."

Citizens are advised not to panic. Frantic random lovemaking with complete strangers, the natural response to imminent species extinction, is in fact unlawful in most of the Red States, and should be refrained from. Churches will be open night and day for the benefit of those who are not already blaming God for the advent of a brutal hegemony of enormous and utterly alien overlords. Heavily Photoshopped pictures widely distributed on the Internets show 1,000 foot long land sharks devouring entire grammar schools full of children, and vast radioactive flying squid engulfing whole skyscrapers full of bored office drones. Or, they could be cute little fuzzy bunnies, according to meteorologist Flip Spiceland of CNN: "But bunnies eat, too."

According to local police departments all over the country, the best thing a human can do now is to remain indoors, board up all windows and doors, arm yourself and shoot anything that moves. And whatever you do, don't fall asleep.


AFP
"Object leaves Earth-sized impact site on Jupiter"
Alien Attack, Phase One.
' "Our first image showed a really bright object right where that black scar was, and immediately we knew this was an impact," Orton said. "There's no natural phenomenon that creates a black spot and bright particles like that," he said. It is the first time since 1994 that an impact has been observed on the planet which is 11 times bigger than Earth and whose atmosphere is saturated with gas. In July 1994 21 fragments of the Shoemaker Levy 9 comet slammed into the planet's atmosphere. "This has all the hallmarks of an impact event, very similar to Shoemaker-Levy 9," said NASA scientist Leigh Fletcher. '

SPACE.COM
"Jupiter Apparently Smacked by Rogue Object, New Images Reveal"
Alien Attack Phase Two.
' A giant scar-like blemish has appeared in the clouds near Jupiter's south polar region, which NASA observed in infrared after receiving a tip from an amateur skywatcher in Australia. The likely impact appears to have occurred exactly 15 years after the remnants of Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 bombarded the planet in 1994 in an event that was widely predicted and scrutinized as it happened. "It could be the impact of a comet, but we don't know for sure yet," Orton said. "It's been a whirlwind of a day, and this on the anniversary of the Shoemaker-Levy 9 and Apollo anniversaries is amazing." Between July 16 and July 22 in 1994, Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 was torn apart by Jupiter's gravity as it swung past the planet. The remaining pieces crashed into the planet while astronomers looked on with telescopes on Earth and in space. It was the first collision of two objects within the solar system in ever observed from Earth. The impacts were cataclysmic. More than 20 fragments - some as large as 1.2 miles (2 km) across - slammed into Jupiter at 134,200 mph (215,973 kph) as the planet rotated, sending plumes of hot gas into the Jovian atmosphere and causing dark scars that lasted for weeks. A similar impact on Earth would cause widespread devastation on a global scale. '

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Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.
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2 Comments:

Blogger skyewriter said...

Oh my effing god, I am going to be *so* pissed if the loopy Scientologists are right.

Since SL was a comet that was broken up 17 years ago only to pepper Jupiter two years later, perhaps this was another fragment that managed to escape for a few years?

Of course not; the alien explanation is much more rational. I just hope they are ginormous zombies, too. I have a serious zombie-preparedness kit ready for testing... and I want to cash in before we get enslaved and/or eradicated for our planet's natural resources... oops, too late on that one.

8:23 AM, July 22, 2009  
Blogger Cosa Nostradamus said...

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PLEASE REMAIN CALM!!!

There are no reports of zombie activity. Yet. Of course, if the reporters were eaten by zombies, there would be no reports of zombie activity...

PANIC! PANIC NOW!! PAAAAANNNIIIICCC!!!
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3:12 PM, July 22, 2009  

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