OLIVIA WILDE NEKKID
13 FROM "HOUSE" CONFIRMS DIAGNOSIS:
WOMEN'S GARB CAUSES PERSONALITY DISORDERS
Human Females Are Easier To Get Along With When Unclothed
Years of exhaustive research, at great personal and impersonal cost to this researcher, have led to a startling conclusion: Feminine apparel negatively impacts human interactions, and is best left off.
A close examination of girl-wear reveals certain incontrovertible facts: Ladies' garments constrict bloodflow and reduce range of motion, conceal body parts which are intended to be revealed as a survival strategy, and distract encumbered females from the critical business of mating. (Especially shoes.)
Intensive testing, re-testing, and re-re-testing proves conclusively that women are happier without their costumes, and better able to form both permanent and half-hourly bonds at home and in the tall grass behind the municipal gazebo while nude. Excessive clothing has now been proven to reduce chances of reproduction, and is plainly a failed strategy for distributing genetic material. In short, both individual females and the human race as a whole fare better when clothing is optional.
In conjunction with this study, funded by the National Council of Dudes, NATLCOD, a corporate policy of "Nekkid Fridays" has been instituted at all Fortune 5,000,000 companies. NATLCOD Chairman Roger Abley, who personally commissioned the apparel-effects study, has recommended that all member organizations stand firm in observing "National Nekkid Friday," beginning this Whitsuntide, or the day after Thursday, whichever is sooner in your jurisdiction.
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Labels: bare, desnuda, desnudo, disrobed, en deshabille, House, nackt, naked, nekkid, nu, nuda, nude, nudo, nue, Olivia Wilde, some limey, Thirteen, TV show, unclothed
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