WE LOVE TO SUCK THE BOOB TUBE
And It Loves Us Right Back Again!
No surprise here. Scientists have found that people like to watch television. Even alone. Preferably alone. That's escapism, right? I think so. Let's face it, this is an EXCELLENT world to escape from. Even the good stuff has consequences: Sex makes your piss burn and gives other people access to your emotions and stuff. Especially your stuff. And drugs, well, we all know what THEY can do to a bank account. Or your complexion. Or your remaining teeth. Rock'n'roll makes you deaf, and obnoxious, and stupid, too, to judge by its' biggest fans. Country music, even worse.
So, TV is a relatively harmless diversion. Nobody ever gets killed watching it. Nobody is really inspired by TV to kill anybody they didn't already want to kill, despite their defense attorney's arguments to the contrary. Yeah, your ass begins to look just like the couch, in reverse. Yeah, you become pasty-faced and sallow. But, weren't you a little pasty-faced and sallow, before? Seriously. Fess up.
As to anti-socialization, who wants to socialize, anyway? Who wants to be pounded in the face by other people's asshole opinions, delivered in a palpable mist of bad breath, accompanied by a haze of B.O., and a flurry of dandruff? We have blogs for that, and most of them are odorless. Some of them do have dandruff, but, hey: Kwitcherbitchen.
Nah, we don't need no stinkin' socialization. Maybe a nice Friday night grope once in a while. An occasional brunch with one's few actual friends. A movie with a honey, some strange time when there's no lines, no yammering subnormals, no stinky rugrats. Otherwise, leave us to our idiot-boxes. We like 'em. Science says so.
So, that's why I'll be continuing to focus on television, off and on, in this blog. Cuz ya know ya loves it. And only I dare top speak its name. See ya in the sitcoms!
You look like you could use a laugh. Lighten up, already.
"Two And A Half Men"
ABC Monday nights
NBC Tuesday nights
"That 70s Show"
FOX Wednesday nights
"Center Of The Universe"
CBS Wednesday nights
"Will & Grace"
NBC Thursday nights
FOX Friday nights
"King Of The Hill"
"Malcolm In The Middle"
FOX Sunday nights
There's always cable, too:
"The Daily Show"
"The Kids In The Hall"
Comedy Channel, various times
"What Makes People Happy? TV, Study Says"
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