JOE MAMMA

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BIDEN WHO?

OBAMA PICKS NEBBISH FOR VP

Well, That's The Job Description, Isn't It?

Still, after the Dick & Dubya ventriloquist act of the last eight years, and the "partnership" of Slick Willie & Wooden Al, you might have expected a more commanding choice. Joe Biden is best known for blowing his own Presidential ambitions by stealing a speech from British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock during the first Bush I campaign back in the Stone Age, before iPods and texting.

Since then, evidently Joe's been hangin' out on the US Senate Foreign Relations Committee, a relic of the days when the Millionaires' Club still exercised its' prerogative of advising before consenting to all the President's Imperial adventures. Yeah, the Prez used to do that, like, before the Internet and CD's. The last few decades, the Commander-In-Chief does whatever the Hell he wants, and Congress just rubber-stamps it. F*ck the checks & balances, dude. That's, like, for pussy-Presidents.

So I guess Obama wants an experienced yes-man, preferably an old white guy, to balance out the ticket against the Republicans' two really old white yes-men (wait for it). Or maybe Big O just desperately needs Delaware, and its' three, count 'em, 3 electoral votes. Biden'll get all the border States!!! Except WVA, KY, TN & AR. And no Northern or Southern ones, that Obama doesn't already have. They say Uncle Joe is a mackerel-snapper, so maybe the Pope will have to order his megaflock to vote for Barack. Yeah. That'll happen. And they'll all listen, just like when the sour old kraut says no abortions, no divorces, and no pre-marital sex. Unh-hunh.

Me, if I was the African-American with the most little red laser dots on my ass in the whole freakin' world, I'd go with the Bush stratagem: Pick a next-in-line guy who's actually going to be the one in charge from jump: A guy who's everybody's worst nightmare, even worse than you, and only a heartbeat away: like Dick Cheney! Now that's what I call life insurance! But picking a white guy could be career suicide, literally. All the rednecks have to do is pop Barack, and we're back to the melanine status quo. I'd pick Reverend Wright, if I were Obama. Just cut out his tongue, first.

[Cross-posted at CoffeeHouseStudio.]
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