THE PRESIDENT HAS BEEN SHOD!
.
SECRET SERVICE FAILS AGAIN. AND AGAIN. ACCIDENT? OR DESIGN?
YOUTUBE: CNN
"[Updated] Bush Shoe Incident in Iraq {CNN}"
Yeah. Now the shoe's on the OTHER foot. Hey, babe, if the shoe fits, wear it! Walk a mile in the other guys shoes, butthead.
PERHAPS THE SECRET SERVICE AGENTS WERE WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP
YOUTUBE: ABC NEWS
"Bad Sushi"
Like father, like son: Always a great exit.
Government Offers "Lone Shoeman" Theory: Where Have We Heard This Before?
Are we to believe that there was only one shoeman, aiming at our Commander-In-Chief? Isn't it OBVIOUS that there MUST have been a second shoeman? Maybe he never shoed, but he was there, all right, ready to finish off the POTUS with a final shoe to the head at point-blank range. Only the failure of the first two shoes kept him from carrying out his part in this vast conspiracy. The question is, where was the Secret Service?
Lincoln had no Secret Service. Garfield (not the cat) and McKinley didn't either. Kennedy was the first President assassinated on their watch. Jackson, Roosevelt, Truman, Ford and Reagan survived assassination attempts. Jackson was trying to abolish the first Federal bank when his Whig enemies sent crazed loser Richard Lawrence after him. He failed, and the Bank of the United States was abolished, due to the excise it tax it levied on moonshine, an intoxicant that was regarded by Jackson as essential to the smooth functioning of the slave-owning South. (No, really!) The deal that originally established the bank also moved the Capital, er, Capitol from the North, Philadelphia, to the South, Washington. The Bank, however, remained in Philly, even after it was reconstituted to deal with the financial problems caused by the War of 1812, which also made Jackson a national hero, ironically.
The Second Bank of the United States nearly collapsed due to unwise loans to speculators in real estate. Sound familiar? The Bank had become a sort of early Fannie Mae. Squabbles between political Parties over the financial crisis prevented a bail-out, and panics and depression ensued. The Second Bank would soon die. However, litigation over the Bank would result in the decision that made Federal laws trump State laws (McCullogh vs. Maryland). "States Rights" lost. It was the beginning of the Civil War. The first shoe was thrown at Jackson, and missed. But more shoes were coming.
The next President to be shod was Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln was famous for going barefoot even in the snow, and in the House of Representatives. He regarded shoes as weapons of mass destruction, and a potential threat to his own existence, due to a dream he had as a child wherein he was killed by a boot. His dream proved prophetic: Rabid Southerner John Wilkes Boot [!] had planned to kidnap Lincoln and hold him until he released all Confederate POW's, like John McCain. Then Lincoln decided to give African-Americans the vote, which Boot [!] realized would lead, inevitably, to a black President. He resolved to kill Lincoln. He succeeded, but failed in his aim of overthrowing the Union government. Boot [!] was shot by a Union soldier named Boston (which city was later the point of origin of two of the four 9/11 flights), and everyone connected to him was Gitmo'd. The prime suspects were tried by a military tribunal, which was protested. The Supreme Court subsequently banned military tribunals where civil courts still functioned (ex parte Milligan). This led to the use of the actual Gitmo where no such courts exist today.
The military tribunal in the Lincoln assassination found all seven defendants guilty, and sentenced three to life imprisonment, and four to hanging. One was female, Mary Surratt. She was the first woman ever executed by the Federal government. It was the beginning of modern feminism, the judicial recognition of women as equal to men in the eyes of the law (at least for hanging purposes), though it is rarely celebrated today. The conspirators also tried to kill Lincoln's Secretary of State, William Seward, who later purchased Alaska, from which Governor Sarah Palin can now see Russia, the seller. Governor Palin, who became the first woman to run surreptitiously for President, despite the transparent glass ceiling, went on to lose the election of 2008, due partly to her love of expensive footwear. (She was not hung. Yet.) We all know how powerful women's obsession with shoes is. [cf Imelda Marcos; also "Sex In The City," Manolo's, ibid.] I'm getting to the link to Bush' attempted asshoessination. Really.
Next to be shoed came James Abram Garfield, a man of Firsts. He was the first President to be subjected to a metal detector, but only after he himself was shot. He was not required to remove his shoes. His ancestor, John Billington, came over on the Mayflower, and distinguished himself by becoming the first Englishman sentenced to hang in the New World, for shooting a fellow colonist, and not whilst hunting. Garfield was the first and, so far, the only sitting member of the House of Representatives ever to be elected President. He was also an attorney for the Confederate defendants in the ex parte Milligan case that forbade military tribunals in US jurisdictions.
Garfield received stock at "insider" prices in exchange for his voting participation as a Congressman in the stock-swindle involved in the Credit Mobilier scandal, a financial meltdown in the Gilded Age of the 1870's, similar to today's financial mess, in that it involved giving private financial corporations direct access to the US Treasury, saddling the taxpayers with all of the company's obligations, but none of the profits. Even as the enterprise was failing, Congress continued to put money into it, at the behest of principals in the enterprise such as Congressman Garfield.
Garfield was the only actual ordained minister to ever preach from the White House, perhaps the inventor of Republican religious hypocricy. He was also the Ohio Republican member of the electoral commission that awarded Florida's electoral college votes and the Presidency to fellow Ohio Republican Rutherford B. Hayes, who lost the popular vote in the disputed election of 1878, making Garfield the Katherine Harris of his day. Ohio Republicans subsequently rewarded Garfield with a Senate seat involuntarily vacated by a Democrat, making him the first Senator to become President, also, shortly thereafter.
As President, Garfield fought and defeated the principle of Senatorial privilege, beginning the erosion of the power of the Legislative Branch in favor of an Imperial Presidency. Garfield authored an unique proof of the Pythagorean Theorem whilst in Congress, a rare achievement in a famously innumerate body. Pythagoras was half Phoenician (Lebanese), and studied in Egypt. Garfield was shod to death shortly thereafter, in the presence of Lincoln's son, Todd. Todd was not Gitmo'd. Both of his shoes were found still on his feet. Garfield died in Long Branch, New Jersey, home State of the Soprano's. The Soprano's are Sicilians. Sicily was once controlled by Arabs. Both people wore sandals. Sandals are a type of shoes. There may be a Mafia connection, as with JFK. (Check with Oliver Stone.) Garfield has a rest stop on the NJ Turnpike named after him. The men's room there is frequented by foot-fetishists, and State Troopers. The troopers may have let Senator Larry Craig off with a warning after an "incident" there involving his feet, which were shod. Allegedly. This is referred to as "sodomy." Sodom is a town in Israel. See the connections? Try taking some LSD.
McKinley was next. Despite his Imperial precautionary measure of annexing Hawaii, where no one even wears shoes, he was assassinated by a poorly-shod anarchist from his native Ohio. The Secret Service, though it was established under President Lincoln, did not begin trying to protect Presidents until after McKinley was assassinated. Still, they were undoubtedly nearby, as the largest of only four Federal police forces in existence at the time. Perhaps they were enjoying the newfangled confection known as dough-knots at the Buffalo Pan American Exposition, or shopping for shoes. McKinley may have been preoccupied with foreign adventures and expanding the American Empire overseas.
The White House Police, not the Secret Service, did their duty on behalf of President Truman. Several officers were shot by Puerto Rican nationalists, who were fighting to end what they saw as the unlawful occupation of Puerto Rico by the United States. They started a gun-battle outside of Blair House, the guest-house across the street from the White House, which was under renovation at the time. Private Leslie Coffelt was shot and returned fire, killing one of the assassins after being mortally wounded by them. He is the only Presidential security officer ever killed in the course of an assassination attempt upon the President. He always wore big heavy shoes, as did President Truman. They were a band of shoemen.
John F. Kennedy was the next President to be fired upon. He was killed. The Secret Service were present. Shoes were present. The connection is obvious, but we are afraid to say any more.
Gerald Ford was saved from assassination twice in one month, not by the Secret Service, but by pure dumb luck. Ford, like George W. Bush was an idiot. Both wore shoes on the days of their attempted asshoessinations. Coincidence? I think not. Manson family member Lynette "Squeaky" Fromm failed to chamber a round before firing at Ford, and missed her chance at killing a President. Two weeks later, FBI stooge Sarah Jane Moore fired but missed, thanks to the quick reaction of a civilian bystander, disabled ex-Marine Oliver Sipple. The Secret Service missed both shooters. Now they realize the full effects of shoe-addiction, and its' commonality among women. All women are suspects, today. Most are shooed away, except for young interns with round heels.
Despite all the warnings, a man in shoes was allowed close enough to President Reagan to shoot at him. The bullet ricocheted off Reagan's limo and hit him in the side, entering his lung. Secret Service Agent Jerry Parr hustled Reagan into the limo. Agents Tom Delehanty and Tim McCarthy were shot while throwing themselves in front of the President. White House Press Secretary Jim Brady was grievously wounded, and suffers from his wounds to this day. Reagan went on to commit numerous crimes, and to escape with impunity. And men in shoes are still allowed to approach POTUS. Only the very, very, very Secret Service knows why.
Why?
The answer is obvious: The Secret Service cannot do their job as long as people are allowed to wear shoes. Every successful Presidential assassin has worn shoes. The Secret Service should have seen the shoe threat long ago. They must find ways to counter it. Until then, if you want to approach the President of the United States of America, you simply must remove your shoes, as at the airport these days, or in any oriental despotism. Maybe put them in a locker. Like in a bowling alley. But remember: Shoes don't kill people. People kill people. Even shoeless people can still be carrying a gun. Think about it, Secret Service. Duh. Maybe you need some training from Thom McAnn, or Nobel Prize winner Doc Martins.
.
.
IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR BLOGGERS:
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!
SECRET SERVICE FAILS AGAIN. AND AGAIN. ACCIDENT? OR DESIGN?
YOUTUBE: CNN
"[Updated] Bush Shoe Incident in Iraq {CNN}"
Yeah. Now the shoe's on the OTHER foot. Hey, babe, if the shoe fits, wear it! Walk a mile in the other guys shoes, butthead.
PERHAPS THE SECRET SERVICE AGENTS WERE WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP
YOUTUBE: ABC NEWS
"Bad Sushi"
Like father, like son: Always a great exit.
Government Offers "Lone Shoeman" Theory: Where Have We Heard This Before?
Are we to believe that there was only one shoeman, aiming at our Commander-In-Chief? Isn't it OBVIOUS that there MUST have been a second shoeman? Maybe he never shoed, but he was there, all right, ready to finish off the POTUS with a final shoe to the head at point-blank range. Only the failure of the first two shoes kept him from carrying out his part in this vast conspiracy. The question is, where was the Secret Service?
Lincoln had no Secret Service. Garfield (not the cat) and McKinley didn't either. Kennedy was the first President assassinated on their watch. Jackson, Roosevelt, Truman, Ford and Reagan survived assassination attempts. Jackson was trying to abolish the first Federal bank when his Whig enemies sent crazed loser Richard Lawrence after him. He failed, and the Bank of the United States was abolished, due to the excise it tax it levied on moonshine, an intoxicant that was regarded by Jackson as essential to the smooth functioning of the slave-owning South. (No, really!) The deal that originally established the bank also moved the Capital, er, Capitol from the North, Philadelphia, to the South, Washington. The Bank, however, remained in Philly, even after it was reconstituted to deal with the financial problems caused by the War of 1812, which also made Jackson a national hero, ironically.
The Second Bank of the United States nearly collapsed due to unwise loans to speculators in real estate. Sound familiar? The Bank had become a sort of early Fannie Mae. Squabbles between political Parties over the financial crisis prevented a bail-out, and panics and depression ensued. The Second Bank would soon die. However, litigation over the Bank would result in the decision that made Federal laws trump State laws (McCullogh vs. Maryland). "States Rights" lost. It was the beginning of the Civil War. The first shoe was thrown at Jackson, and missed. But more shoes were coming.
The next President to be shod was Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln was famous for going barefoot even in the snow, and in the House of Representatives. He regarded shoes as weapons of mass destruction, and a potential threat to his own existence, due to a dream he had as a child wherein he was killed by a boot. His dream proved prophetic: Rabid Southerner John Wilkes Boot [!] had planned to kidnap Lincoln and hold him until he released all Confederate POW's, like John McCain. Then Lincoln decided to give African-Americans the vote, which Boot [!] realized would lead, inevitably, to a black President. He resolved to kill Lincoln. He succeeded, but failed in his aim of overthrowing the Union government. Boot [!] was shot by a Union soldier named Boston (which city was later the point of origin of two of the four 9/11 flights), and everyone connected to him was Gitmo'd. The prime suspects were tried by a military tribunal, which was protested. The Supreme Court subsequently banned military tribunals where civil courts still functioned (ex parte Milligan). This led to the use of the actual Gitmo where no such courts exist today.
The military tribunal in the Lincoln assassination found all seven defendants guilty, and sentenced three to life imprisonment, and four to hanging. One was female, Mary Surratt. She was the first woman ever executed by the Federal government. It was the beginning of modern feminism, the judicial recognition of women as equal to men in the eyes of the law (at least for hanging purposes), though it is rarely celebrated today. The conspirators also tried to kill Lincoln's Secretary of State, William Seward, who later purchased Alaska, from which Governor Sarah Palin can now see Russia, the seller. Governor Palin, who became the first woman to run surreptitiously for President, despite the transparent glass ceiling, went on to lose the election of 2008, due partly to her love of expensive footwear. (She was not hung. Yet.) We all know how powerful women's obsession with shoes is. [cf Imelda Marcos; also "Sex In The City," Manolo's, ibid.] I'm getting to the link to Bush' attempted asshoessination. Really.
Next to be shoed came James Abram Garfield, a man of Firsts. He was the first President to be subjected to a metal detector, but only after he himself was shot. He was not required to remove his shoes. His ancestor, John Billington, came over on the Mayflower, and distinguished himself by becoming the first Englishman sentenced to hang in the New World, for shooting a fellow colonist, and not whilst hunting. Garfield was the first and, so far, the only sitting member of the House of Representatives ever to be elected President. He was also an attorney for the Confederate defendants in the ex parte Milligan case that forbade military tribunals in US jurisdictions.
Garfield received stock at "insider" prices in exchange for his voting participation as a Congressman in the stock-swindle involved in the Credit Mobilier scandal, a financial meltdown in the Gilded Age of the 1870's, similar to today's financial mess, in that it involved giving private financial corporations direct access to the US Treasury, saddling the taxpayers with all of the company's obligations, but none of the profits. Even as the enterprise was failing, Congress continued to put money into it, at the behest of principals in the enterprise such as Congressman Garfield.
Garfield was the only actual ordained minister to ever preach from the White House, perhaps the inventor of Republican religious hypocricy. He was also the Ohio Republican member of the electoral commission that awarded Florida's electoral college votes and the Presidency to fellow Ohio Republican Rutherford B. Hayes, who lost the popular vote in the disputed election of 1878, making Garfield the Katherine Harris of his day. Ohio Republicans subsequently rewarded Garfield with a Senate seat involuntarily vacated by a Democrat, making him the first Senator to become President, also, shortly thereafter.
As President, Garfield fought and defeated the principle of Senatorial privilege, beginning the erosion of the power of the Legislative Branch in favor of an Imperial Presidency. Garfield authored an unique proof of the Pythagorean Theorem whilst in Congress, a rare achievement in a famously innumerate body. Pythagoras was half Phoenician (Lebanese), and studied in Egypt. Garfield was shod to death shortly thereafter, in the presence of Lincoln's son, Todd. Todd was not Gitmo'd. Both of his shoes were found still on his feet. Garfield died in Long Branch, New Jersey, home State of the Soprano's. The Soprano's are Sicilians. Sicily was once controlled by Arabs. Both people wore sandals. Sandals are a type of shoes. There may be a Mafia connection, as with JFK. (Check with Oliver Stone.) Garfield has a rest stop on the NJ Turnpike named after him. The men's room there is frequented by foot-fetishists, and State Troopers. The troopers may have let Senator Larry Craig off with a warning after an "incident" there involving his feet, which were shod. Allegedly. This is referred to as "sodomy." Sodom is a town in Israel. See the connections? Try taking some LSD.
McKinley was next. Despite his Imperial precautionary measure of annexing Hawaii, where no one even wears shoes, he was assassinated by a poorly-shod anarchist from his native Ohio. The Secret Service, though it was established under President Lincoln, did not begin trying to protect Presidents until after McKinley was assassinated. Still, they were undoubtedly nearby, as the largest of only four Federal police forces in existence at the time. Perhaps they were enjoying the newfangled confection known as dough-knots at the Buffalo Pan American Exposition, or shopping for shoes. McKinley may have been preoccupied with foreign adventures and expanding the American Empire overseas.
The White House Police, not the Secret Service, did their duty on behalf of President Truman. Several officers were shot by Puerto Rican nationalists, who were fighting to end what they saw as the unlawful occupation of Puerto Rico by the United States. They started a gun-battle outside of Blair House, the guest-house across the street from the White House, which was under renovation at the time. Private Leslie Coffelt was shot and returned fire, killing one of the assassins after being mortally wounded by them. He is the only Presidential security officer ever killed in the course of an assassination attempt upon the President. He always wore big heavy shoes, as did President Truman. They were a band of shoemen.
John F. Kennedy was the next President to be fired upon. He was killed. The Secret Service were present. Shoes were present. The connection is obvious, but we are afraid to say any more.
Gerald Ford was saved from assassination twice in one month, not by the Secret Service, but by pure dumb luck. Ford, like George W. Bush was an idiot. Both wore shoes on the days of their attempted asshoessinations. Coincidence? I think not. Manson family member Lynette "Squeaky" Fromm failed to chamber a round before firing at Ford, and missed her chance at killing a President. Two weeks later, FBI stooge Sarah Jane Moore fired but missed, thanks to the quick reaction of a civilian bystander, disabled ex-Marine Oliver Sipple. The Secret Service missed both shooters. Now they realize the full effects of shoe-addiction, and its' commonality among women. All women are suspects, today. Most are shooed away, except for young interns with round heels.
Despite all the warnings, a man in shoes was allowed close enough to President Reagan to shoot at him. The bullet ricocheted off Reagan's limo and hit him in the side, entering his lung. Secret Service Agent Jerry Parr hustled Reagan into the limo. Agents Tom Delehanty and Tim McCarthy were shot while throwing themselves in front of the President. White House Press Secretary Jim Brady was grievously wounded, and suffers from his wounds to this day. Reagan went on to commit numerous crimes, and to escape with impunity. And men in shoes are still allowed to approach POTUS. Only the very, very, very Secret Service knows why.
Why?
The answer is obvious: The Secret Service cannot do their job as long as people are allowed to wear shoes. Every successful Presidential assassin has worn shoes. The Secret Service should have seen the shoe threat long ago. They must find ways to counter it. Until then, if you want to approach the President of the United States of America, you simply must remove your shoes, as at the airport these days, or in any oriental despotism. Maybe put them in a locker. Like in a bowling alley. But remember: Shoes don't kill people. People kill people. Even shoeless people can still be carrying a gun. Think about it, Secret Service. Duh. Maybe you need some training from Thom McAnn, or Nobel Prize winner Doc Martins.
.
.
Labels: Arab, assassination, Assault, attack, bush, Dubya, El Lame-o Ducko Grande, final days, insult, Iraqi, journalist, lone shoeter, POTUS, President, shod, shoe, shoe-fly, surprise visit
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posted by Cosa Nostradamus @ 12/15/2008 12:04:00 AM
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