XIX. ALIEN REJECTION SYNDROME

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SOME DAYS, YA CAN'T EVEN GET PROBED

WHAT TO DO WHEN A STRANGE VISITOR FROM ANOTHER PLANET DUMPS YOU

Holly & Kris Submit Themselves to Examination By The Men From The Stars, Or Wherever, Or Whoever, Or Whatever

(Part Nineteen; Part One is HERE.)

The cool green light from the spaceship hovering overhead enveloped and invigorated them, calming them at the same time. Holly & Kris felt themselves become lighter, as if they were beginning to float. There was a low humming and then a kind of sloshing sound, as if they were being tasted. This went on for several minutes. Then there was a spewing sound, and they were tossed to the ground, as the light went out. The space ship began to withdraw.

"Hey! Where you going?" Holly shouted at the UFO.

"I think they just spat us out."

"WHAT???!!! We not good enough fah dem???!!!" Holly shook her fist at the retreating spacecraft.

"Maybe we're not bad enough. Maybe they just like to fix really bad people, like those two scumbags." The two scumbags could be seen strolling along the highway, arm in arm, a foot off the ground in the glowing golden shoes the aliens had given them.

"EH!!! YOU!!! ALIENS!!! I'm bad enough! Look!" She picked up a rock and aimed it Kris's head. Nothing happened. She threw the rock at the UFO instead, missing by a wide margin. "KEFE!!! OOFAH!!! BASTAHDS!!!" Holly was so mad and frustrated, she started crying.

"Hey, take it easy. You don't want to end up like those two zombies, do you?"

"No. But they're all fixed up now. I like get all fixed up too. And I like those shoes."

"Your bites and scratches are all gone."

"Anh, you fixed that up for me."

"Yeah, but they're all completely gone, now. And you had some bruises, too, that're gone now."

"So they fixed me up?"

"Looks like it. Maybe you just didn't need as much fixing as those guys. How do you feel?"

"OK. How do you feel?"

"OK, I guess. Not so tired."

"You still crazy, tho?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"OK. Me, too. So, what we gonna do now?"

"Go home?"

"But what about the aliens?"

"We still got their phones."

"Oh, yeah!" Holly took hers out. "Hey, it has all my favorite songs on it! KEWL!!!

"Mine just has porn videos. Cool. Hey, I got a text message." He opened the message on the aliens' I-phone. "It says 'A gift from the Interstellar Trust, LLC.' It has a phone number. Let's try it."

"No, me!" Holly pressed the number into her alien I-phone. "Sh*t!"

"What?"

"Busy!"

"Figures. Well, we can try later."

"I could text them."

"Text them what?"

"I dunno. Something."

"Here, we've got three wishes and we can't think of anything."

"We get three wishes?"

"Maybe that's just genies in a bottle, not aliens in a cell-phone."

"Stoopit, you. I gonna say 'Thank You!' anyways. We'll think of something else later." She texted the aliens her gratitude. "OK, I did it."

"Any response?"

"No. Not yet. Maybe they busy, flying da spaceship. Give 'em time."

"OK, well, let's move along. Might be more scumbags out here tonight."

"I don't see the spaceship any more. I miss them already."

"Maybe they'll come back."

"We can always call them, right?"

"Right."

"OK. Let's go, then."

They walked to the cab and got back in. Kris pulled the big Cadillac back out onto the Kamehameha Highway, and headed towards Makapuu Point, the south-east corner of the island, more or less. The skies had cleared completely, and there were millions of stars all the way down to the dark horizon. A warm breeze was blowing in off the ocean, so Kris rolled all the windows down. Holly turned in her seat beside Kris, facing him.

"Kris? Will you marry me?"


[ PART TWENTY TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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