XXXI. A MAN'S HOME IS HIS CASTLE

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IF HE HAS A MOAT

COPS BREAK IN ON KRIS

Holly The Ho Makes A Few Mistakes

(Part Thirty-One; Part One is HERE.)


Kris froze when he saw the gun.

"Police officer, freeze!" the young cop shouted at Kris.

"Yeah. I jus' did. What're you doin' in my be'room?" Kris said, his speech slurred from the drugs and alcohol.

"Shut up and stay where you are." The nervous rookie cop spoke into his radio mike, "I got 'em! He's in the bedroom."

The radio came back, "Bring 'im out front."

"Get up," the cop ordered Kris.

"Mine if I put my pan's on?"

"Put 'em on. Make a move, I shoot," the cop said, keeping his gun on Kris.

"Wha' the Hell's goin' on?" Kris tried desperately to focus, to wake up.

"Turn around." The cop handcuffed Kris.

The cop frog-marched Kris through his own living room, up to the front door. He tried to open it, but it was locked with a key. "Where's the key for this?" the cop asked Kris.

"In my pocke'," Kris answered. The cop dug Kris's keys out of his pocket and tried them all. None worked.

"Which key is it?"

"Lemme see. Take these off a minute, willya?"

The cop took off the handcuffs, then put them back on in front instead of behind Kris's back. Kris took advantage of the switch to pull his alien I-phone out of his pocket and stick it in his waist-band while the cop was fumbling with the handcuffs. Kris didn't have a lawyer, but maybe he could call his friend Tad the cabbie.

The young cop gave Kris the keys and Kris inserted the right one the correct way, giving it a special little twist to open the sticky lock. He slipped the keys back in his pocket clumsily. At least the cop had put the handcuffs back on loosely enough for him to do that. Rookie, Kris thought.

The cop opened the door and there were two more cops, and Holly, outside on the landing. The older cop questioned Kris, "You reported a stolen car?"

"Yeah. Why'm I in handcuffs? Why was 'at cop in my be'room, poin'in' a gun at me? How'd he get in my apar'men'? You got a warran' or somethin'?" Kris mumbled.

"You one lawyer? You like go jail, ask a judge your questions? Den shut up. Is dat your wife?"

Kris looked at Holly angrily, still feeling the beer, the barbiturates, and the handcuffs. She stared dumbly back at him. "No, tha's a crack-whore from Chin'town that stole my cab. An' you break into my house on her word?"

Holly heard all this and started crying. "Well, well he said I could, and he said we were married, and he had sex with me, and I'm only fourteen, and my Dad's a cop! You bastard, Kris!" She was deeply hurt and lashing out wildly.

"You had sex with this girl? You know she only 14?" The older cop asked Kris.

"No! I never ha' sex with her. She sai' she's 18!" Kris responded.

Holly was still crying. "Look, I just wanna get my stuff and go, now. I just want my things and then I'll go, OK?"

The older cop shook his head. "No way. Gotta check 'em out. You get ID, Miss?"

"No." Holly said, miserably. She knew the drill.

"Wots yah faddah name?"

"He, I, we don't live together. My parents are divorced. Look, I just wanna go. I didn't do anything."

"You get ID, or not, Miss? You get ID, I can let you go. No ID, no go. No? Wots da faddah name?"

The younger cop piped in, "Captain Cooke, she said earlier."

"Call 'em on da radio."

"NO!!!" Holly protested."He abuses me! He raped me, that's why I left home!"

The older cop turned on her. "Oh, so now everybody rape you? And you one crack-whore in Chinatown? An' you making all dis hu-hu here now? You da one in trouble, now. You bettah jus' shaht ahp."

"He's on his way," the younger cop said as he got off the radio.

Kris leaned against the railing of the landing in front of his apartment. Holly stood ten feet away with her back to him, crying. Kris was feeling really woozy, and having a hard time understanding what was going on. The combination of booze and barbiturates made him feel belligerent, which he was having a hard time controlling. He wanted some smash someone, something, anything. There were cops going in and out of his apartment freely, like they had a right to be there. Holly had brought them into his house, for no reason, as far as he knew. Now her father was coming, and things were going to get worse.

Kris wished he had never reported his cab stolen, but Holly hadn't given him much choice. She had just disappeared for almost twelve hours, without calling or leaving a note. He remembered the aliens' I-phone then, and took it out of his waistband, fumbling awkwardly with the handcuffs on. He said "Messages" into the phone, and got his voice mail. Holly had left him a message at the same time he was leaving her one, an hour or so ago. She had gone to get his cab fixed. She was on her way back home. Home. Their home. They were newlyweds, if a marriage by a lion in the zoo counted. If that had ever really happened.

Kris slipped the phone back into his waistband, wondering if there was anything else it could do. Maybe transport them out of here? What command would that be?

"Holly? You fixed my cab?" he asked her.

"Yeah! I told you! I left you a message! On your phone!" she cried.

"OK, OK, I jus' got it. Lef' you one too."

Holly took out her alien I-phone and checked her messages. There was one from Kris asking where she was and warning her about the cops, asking her to bring the car back. "Sh*t! I didn't know. I should have called you earlier," Holly said.

"Yeah. Well. Look, ociffer, this's my wife, OK? We just had a misun'erstan'in' OK? Sorry we was'e' your time, OK? Ever'thin's OK. No car stolen, no break-in, OK? How 'bout we all jus' go home and forge' 'bou' it?" Kris mumbled.

"No. Da wahine say you rape huh. She say she only fahteen. You undah arres,'" the older cop said.

"But he didn't rape me, and I'm not fourteen! I made a mistake, OK? I'm not gonna press any charges on him, he's my husband, OK? Just a misunderstanding, like he said, OK? Just let him go, OK? Nobody raped anybody!" Holly protested.

"Who rape somebody?" said a big gorilla coming up the stairs. It was a police captain. Holly's father.

"Dis guy, Cap'n. She say she fahteen, an' he rape huh," the older cop said.

"Who, dis fahkkah?" the captain said, grabbing Kris by his hair and banging his head against the wall.

"NO DADDY!!! He didn't do anything to me!! He's trying to help me! We just got married! Leave him alone, please!" Holly pleaded.

"Dat right, scumbag? You marry my dahtah?" the captain asked Kris.

"Yeah. Yeah we got marrie' yes'erday," Kris slurred, half blacked out and seeing stars from the bang on his head.

"Oh, so now you celebrating? You on drugs, too? You give 'em to her?" He banged Kris's head again, and dropped him on the landing, semi-conscious.

"Leave him alone, please, Daddy, I'll do anything you say!" Holly begged.

"Of cahs you will. Of cahs you will. If you don' maybe I kick dis fahkkah's head in. Maybe he fall down da stairs, bus' his head. Maybe I lock 'im ahp wit' some local boys, bus' him ahp fah good, yeah? You li'e dat?" the captain threatened.

"No! Please, I'll go with you now, I'll do anything you say! Just leave him alone, please! He didn't do anything wrong!" Holly cried. People were coming out of their apartments to see what all the noise was about. Windows were opening in the building next door. Someone snapped a picture from over there, the flash illuminating the scene.

"OK. You come wit' me. I let yah scumbag go. Fah now. Officer, take da cuffs off. No report on dis. Da girl is 22, not 14. Fahget 'em. Dats one order, yeah?"

"Yessir," the older cops said, as the young cop took his cuffs off Kris, who was laying there groaning.

"Come on," the captain ordered, taking Holly by the elbow and dragging her along.

"Kris! I'm sorry! I'll be back!" Holly promised.

"No, you won't," the captain said, slapping her head hard. He marched her downstairs and threw her into the front passenger seat of his SUV. He grabbed her head and forced a kiss on her, shoving his tongue into her mouth and slobbering all over her. She tried to pull away, but he grabbed her breast and twisted it hard. Holly yelped, and her father slapped her face and shut the door.

"Put yah fahkkin seat bel' on, honey," he laughed. He went around to the driver's side and got in, starting up the car. The young cop was standing there staring at him with his mouth open.

"Wot you lookin' at, *ssh*le? She's not my real dahtah! Anyway, she like it! You want some?" the captain asked.

"Ah, no sir," the young cop said.

"Wot, my dahtah not good enough fah you, you fahkkin rookie?" he laughed uproariously, and drove away. The other cops all pulled out after him.

Kris lifted himself up groggily, shouting after them, "No! He's gonna rape her! Stop." But they were already gone. Kris stumbled down the stairs to his cab. It was all fixed, as Holly had said. He checked the trunk. His strongboxes were still in there. His secret was safe. No one would ever know about his sister, whose bones were in one of the boxes. But Holly was gone.


[Copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus. END OF CHAPTER ONE, "Chinatown Shuffle." Future chapters will be posted on another website, with limited access. To obtain access, send an email to cosanostradamus AT excite DOT com. The senders of the first one hundred emails will receive unlimited free access for one year. The website will be up in a few days. Thank you for your interest. Be careful what you wish for.]
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XXX. WHERE THERE'S SMOKE, THERE'S FIRE

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SOMEBODY'S GOTTA TAKE THE RAP

DA WAHINE STEPS UP FOR HER FRIEND

Holly The Ho Is A Stand-Up Guy

(Part Thirty; Part One is HERE.)


Holly and Tia finally made it out of the line at the Jack-In-The-Crack drive-thru, over ten minutes after Kris & Tad got through it. They never saw each other. Kris went back to his apartment, and Holly took Tia home. She helped Tia bring her food and drinks upstairs. She wanted to thank Tia's boyfriend Hoshi for fixing Kris's cab.

As soon as the girls came into the house, Hoshi started yelling.

"Eh, you was smoking in heah? You know you not supposed to smoke in heah! You could staht one fiyah, explo' da whole fahkkin' place! I get paints and chemicals and all kine stuff downstairs," the little old Japanese man fumed.

"Chill out, braddah! If I know one t'ing, it's how fah smoke! I been smoking since I was seven yeahs ol'!" Tia shouted back.

""Dats one naddah ting! You not suppose to be smokin' at all, evah, anyplace, any kine! You promise me! I should t'row you atta heah righ' now!"

"Eh, you like me go, I go. I get my stuffs righ' now, den." Tia headed for the bedroom.

"Hoshi, it wasn't her, it was me! I'm sorry, I didn't know. I brought some pakalolo, and I made her smoke it. It's all my fault. No blame Tia," Holly protested, lying to protect her friend.

"Eh, den you get out, and no come back! You making trouble!"

"Eh, if she go, I go. I not gonna take yah shit, ol' man! I can go an' live anywheres. I never had one frien' come up heah, you never have anybody come fah see you eidah! You never t'ink maybe I get lonely? Wit' jus' one mean ol' Japaneee man fah talk to? You wanna die alone in dis place, dat's OK wit me. I go wit my frien' righ' now!" Tia screamed in Hoshi's face.

Holly jumped in between them. "Wait, wait! No fight cuz 'a' me! I sorry, I apologize, no get mad! You two stay friends, we all stay friends, everybody gotta jus' calm down, yeah? I'll jus' go, OK? We can talk moah laters, Tia. Thank you for help me out, Hoshi. Please, no be mad, please?" Holly backed out of place, which was beginning to look like her own family situation, which was not good. She went back downstairs and got in the cab, Tia calling after her, "I'll talk to you soon, OK?"

Holly started the car and pulled out of Hoshi's body shop parking lot. She was sorely tempted to go to Chinatown and get some crack cocaine, or at least some pot. She was upset by the brouhaha at Tia's place, and worried about being out with Kris's cab so late. No, she thought, I should go back to Kris's place. Stay out of trouble. No more drugs, like I promised him. Besides, she told herself, he'll be so happy to see how I fixed his cab up, and bought us some groceries. I'm like a real wife now, a good partner. He'll see. He'll love me now.

Love made Holly hungry. Her Jack-In-The-Crack tacos were stinking up the car, making her stomach growl. She sipped her soda and crunched into a big greasy taco. She was going to get fat if she kept eating like this. She hadn't eaten this much in years. Almost three meals a day for nearly a week, now. It was good to eat real food, any food, for a change. Would Kris still love her if she got fat? Did he love her now? Well, he married her, sort of. They should celebrate. Oh! New Years! They should go out for New Years Eve! She could sell some jewelery and they could use the money to go someplace nice.

Holly felt something sticking in her ribs. It was the aliens' I-phone, which she'd stuck in the waistband of her jeans. She took it out and looked at it. I wonder if I can call Kris on this? she thought. I don't know his number. Maybe the phone knows. "Call Kris," she told the phone. It began to dial. At the same moment, Kris was calling her on his alien I-phone. They got each others' voice mail. Holly left him a message apologizing for being gone so long, explaining that she'd gotten the car fixed and bought some groceries and was headed home. "Not to worry. Love you. Bye. See you soon."

Holly drove back to Waikiki, almost twelve hours after she'd left it. She pulled into Lemon Road, cutting a guy off and screeching her tires when she accelerated to avoid hitting him. "Sorry, sorry," she called out. A police cruiser parked across the street started up and followed her into Kris's driveway, blocking her in as she parked under the apartment building. "Oh," she said, "Is there a problem, officer?"

"This your car?" the cop asked.

"No. Well, yeah. Sorta. It's my husband's taxi. We just got married. He's upstairs, I think."

"What's his name?" Another cop car pulled into the driveway.

"Kris."

"Last name?"

"Uhhhhm. I forget."

"You married and you forget your las' name>"

"Well, we just got married, sorta sudden. Yesterday."

"How come he report dis cah stolen, den?"

"HE DID!!!???"

"Maybe one awa ago." Another cop car pulled into the driveway.

"Uh, maybe he was worried about me. I been gone awhile. I tried calling him, but I got his voice mail. He's prob'ly upstairs now. Can we just go see?" A third cop car pulled into the driveway.

"Try wait." The first cop called the second cop over and they discussed the situation. The third cop came over and they briefed him. The third cop was older, though of the same rank. He said they should see if the cab owner was upstairs. The three went upstairs with Holly.

The door was locked. Holly realized she didn't have a key to the door, just one for the cab. She knocked on the door. No response. She knocked louder, and called Kris's name through the jalousie windows. Still no answer. The older cop took out his nightstick and banged on the door. One of the younger cops tried the windows, but they were not loose enough to come out easily.

The next-door neighbors, a Micronesian family, all came to their door. One of the younger cops told them to get back inside. The older cop told them to wait.

"You seen your neighbor tonight?"

The Micronesian Mom shook her head nervously, no. One of her kids piped in, "Yeah, I seen him, he in dere."

"You get lanai in back?" The cop asked.

The woman nodded yes.

Two of the cops went through the Micronesians' apartment to the rear lanai. There was a low wall between the different apartments' small rear terraces. One of the cops climbed up and swung around the wall. The sliding glass door into the apartment was locked, or jammed. He tapped on the glass with his flashlight. He shined the light inside, and he could see someone lying on a mattress on the floor in the darkness. He told the other cop this, who told him to bust in. The cop got out a burglary tool and jimmied the door open. He took out his gun and walked over to the bed with his light on the sleeping figure.

"Sir?" No response. The guy was out cold. Or dead. The cop kicked him in the leg. No response. He kicked him in the ribs. The occupant of the bed jerked bolt upright. The kick in the ribs had hurt, and Kris was feeling belligerent after a beer and some barbiturates. He didn't know where he was or what was going on, but there was a guy shining a light in his face. In his own bedroom, he realized. An intruder. He grabbed at the intruder, and the guy hit him in the head with his flashlight. Kris shouted and pulled himself out of bed, headed for the intruder. The cop trained his gun on Kris. It was one of those situations where people get shot all the time. The cop got ready to put a bullet in Kris's head.


[PART THIRTY-ONE TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XXIX. RENT A COP

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BY THE MINUTE OR BUY THE HOUR

HPD IS VERY CUSTOMER-FRIENDLY

Tad The Cabbie Wheels & Deals

(Part Twenty-Nine; Part One is HERE.)


Kris stood quietly fretting. His taxi was missing, possibly stolen by his wife of just a few hours, Holly the Ho. The cops who responded to his report of the theft had arrested him on an old traffic warrant. He didn't have the money for it, nor for bail, so he would likely rot in jail for a while. When he got out, he would have no cab, no job, and no apartment, since he owed money to his landlord and the cab owner which he did not have, and now he would have no way to earn any money. He was well and truly screwed. In one shot, Holly had made him carless, jobless and homeless. The modern American trifecta of doom & gloom.

The nasty little police lieutenant was waiting on a return call from Holly's Dad, HPD Captain Cooke. If he showed up and Holly came back, he might arrest, rape or kill her. Calling the cops had not been such a good idea. But Holly was gone without a word, and Kris was on the hook for the car, so he had to do something. He should have known it would work out like this, with these pr*ck cops. He looked miserably over at his fellow cabbie, Tad. Tad shrugged his shoulders.

"Lieutenant?" Tad began.

"Wot?" the little pr*ck responded, turning on Tad.

"Is there any way we could just pay my friend's fine, or bail or whatever, without having to go downtown?"

"Whatchyou mean?"

"You know, like, some kind of express processing, like we pay HPD and skip all da kine paperwork?"

"Oh, I don't know. Gonna be maybe $500. You get?"

"I just have to go to a cash machine. There's one around the corner."

"OK, we can do 'express processing,' if you get cash," the little pr*ck cop said, licking his lips.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be right back. That OK, with you, Kris? You gotta pay me back, though," Tad tapped his finger on Kris's forehead.

"OK, yeah, sure. Might take me a little while, though..." Kris hesitated.

"--Thirty days, no more, OK? No excuses, yeah?"

"OK, OK, yeah, absolutely. Thanks, Tad."

Tad trotted around the corner to one of the ubiquitous Zyx turista convenience stores, and hit the cash machine. He came back waving the cash.

"Eh, put dat away! A'right, back to your patrols, officers. I got dis one," the tiny lieutenant ordered. When the other cops had gone, he snapped his fingers at Tad for the money. Tad handed it over and the cop shoved it in his pocket without counting it. He unlocked Kris's handcuffs and pushed him away. "No make trouble. I got your numbah, scumbag. I see you again, you going jail, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Can I get a receipt, officer?" Tad enquired.

"Eh, you like go jail for attempted bribery, you fahkkah? No ac' stupid, brah."

"Right. OK. Just asking. Mahalos."

The litle pr*ck laughed nastily, got in his muscle car and drove away with Tad's five hundred dollars.

"Shit," Kris groaned.

"Yeah. $500 by the end of January, Kris. No bullsh*t."

"You got it. Thanks, man."

"I gotta get back to work. This sh*t cost me, even before the bribe. We're all square on favors, now, man. No more. The end."

"Right. No, I appreciate it. We're totally even, for good."

"Yeah. See ya."

Tad got in his cab and drove off. Kris stood there in his driveway for a while, not sure what to do. Finally, he went upstairs. He couldn't work or go anyplace without his cab. He might as well wait for Holly, in case she returned. Or maybe the cops would find his cab, and bring it back here. Not much chance of that, but what the Hell else could he do? He noticed the aliens' I-phone laying on the kitchen counter. He turned it on and played with it for a bit. He wondered if it was activated. Maybe he could call Holly. But he didn't know the number. He tried saying her name into the phone. It began dialing. It rang three times, and then went to voice mail. He left her a message warning her that the cops were looking for the cab. He asked her to please call and let him know what was going on; or just bring the cab back to the apartment. He told her to just say his name into the phone, and it would dial him. Then he hung up. What else could he do? The walls were closing in on him.

The looming possibilities made him feel frantic. He found one last beer in the fridge and cracked it open. He might as well go to sleep, but one beer wasn't going to stop his mind from racing. He opened up one of his storage boxes in the living room and rooted around till he found his pills. He'd stopped taking all of them, but a tranquilizer would go down good right now. He swigged down three with the beer, and went into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He laid down on the mattress, smelling Holly in the sheets. The pills began to kick in, and he dropped off to sleep. It would be really hard waking up, but that was tomorrow's problem.


[PART THIRTY TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XXVIII. THE HAPPY HOOKER

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HOLLY TALKS STORY WITH HER MAHU FRIEND

THE GOOD OLD DAYS OF SELLING THEMSELVES ON THE STREETS OF CHINATOWN

How Big Tia Found Happiness With An Older Man; A Lesson For Holly?

(Part Twenty-Eight; Part One is HERE.)


Holly was happy. Tia was her only real friend on the streets, ever. Tia had shown Holly how to survive, how to turn tricks, how to avoid the cops and the psycho's, how to eat, sleep and find a working toilet while homeless. And how to buy and sell crack cocaine.

They had tea and fried rice, and chatted away for hours, while Tia's old man Hoshi the fender repairman fixed Holly's husband's cab. Wouldn't he be surprised and proud of her for getting his cab fixed so fast, and without any money from him, Holly said. Tia asked to see her jewelry. Holly dug it out.

"Oh, no, girl, dat's too nice! Only gonna be maybe one two hundred for dah cah fix. Tell you what, you let me wear da gold and diamond necklace till you get da money, yeah? Oooh, I like da kine!"

"OK. I don't know how long it'll take me. I have to get a real job, first. And I gotta help Kris wit' da rent, you know?" Holly confided.

"Dats OK, honey-girl, I like wear da kine long time, you know. But I give'em back when you get da kine, OK? How it looks on me?"

"Pretty! And, hey, thanks, eh?"

"No worries. So, you off da street, now?"

"Since before Christmas, I guess."

"No more da ma'a?"

"Haven't smoked anything since before Christmas."

"Dat's good, Holly. You getting yah ac' togeddahs, like me," Tia giggled. "Eh, you like smoke some pakalolo?"

"I dunno..."

"Ah, just some herb, not gonna hurt. All natch'al, like. Here, try little a' dis." Tia took out a small pipe, and placed a marijuana bud in the bowl, firing it up. She inhaled deeply and passed the pipe to Holly. Holly hesitated a moment, and then gave in. She took a big pull and held it in. It was good stuff. In two or three hits, she was wasted. She and Tia sat there laughing hysterically at cartoons on TV, while the clock ticked away. Holly had quite forgotten about Kris.

After what seemed like a really short time, Hoshi came upstairs. "Pau," he said.

"All pau a'ready? Everything fix up nice for Holly?" Tia asked.

"Hai. Wot you get?"

"Nevah you min' wot I gets! I take care of you, you take care of me and my frien', too."

"Maybe I like something pretty, too." the old man wheedled.

"Like wot? You like one necklace, too?"

"No. I like see da kine."

"Oh, you dirty ol' man, you! Eh, Holly, you like show Hoshi da kine? He just like look, you know. He hahmless, dats why. I take care 'a him latahs, yeah? You like show?"

Holly giggled, still very high on the Maui Wowie. "Sure, Poppy. Take one look. You earn 'em!" She laughed as she dropped trou and pulled aside her undies.

"Oh. So ono!"

"Eh, Papa-san, no tastee, on'y lookee! I give you one false crack!" Tia threatened, bunching her big fingers into an even bigger fist.

"OK, OK, OK!" Hoshi whined, trying to get a good look while he could.

"OK, show's ovah, Poppy! I gotta get going. I gotta go shopping, now, too."

"Where you going, Holly?" Tia asked.

"I dunno. What's the closest supermarket?"

"Savaway. But I like Dimes more bettah. Can come?"

"Yeah, sure, excellent, let's go now. Gotta get grinds for tomorrow."

"OK, OK, OK, we go. Hoshi, you like go wit'?"

"No, t'anks. I tiahd. Get me some beer, OK? Whatevah is on sale."

"OK, OK, OK. Less go." The girls put on their shoes at the door, and clomped downstairs to the car. It looked as good as new. Holly was overjoyed, feeling she was really doing something right, for a change. Kris would love this! Her life was getting so much better, in just a few days.

They got gas, then drove over to Dimes Supermarket on Beretania Street and blundered around, stoned out of their minds, grabbing cookies and chips and soda and beer. Holly remembered to buy milk, juice, cereal and coffee, too. She barely had enough to cover it all. They piled it all into the car, and headed back for Tia's place. They passed a Jack-In-The-Crack on the way, and Tia had Holly pull into the drive-thru. "I pay. You get something. I no feel like cook tonight. I get Hoshi a burger to go wit' his beah."

"OK, OK, OK. But I gotta go, den. Getting late. Kris mus' be up by now. Maybe he getting worried. I shoulda lef' him one note. Shoots. I fahgaht."

"Dat's OK, he jus' gonna be mo' hahney, das all."

"I dunno. Shoots, so slow, dese guys! Come on, *ssh*les!!!" Holly, shouted, leaning on the horn. The guy in front of her leaned out of his truck and yelled back, "Eh, try wait!" Holly blew her horn again in frustration. The guy in front shook his head. "Fahkkin' haoles!" he yelled back. Holly started to respond, but Tia held her back. "Relax, girl. Honking not gonna help. You forget where you stay? Try wait, like da kane say."

"Yeah. OK. It's just getting really late. I don't want Kris to be mad at me."

Six cars up ahead, Kris & Tad were just pulling out of the Jack-In-The-Crack with their food, and headed back toward Waikiki, looking for Holly. In a little while, they would be calling the cops on her. The line crept slowly forward. Holly was trapped in it now, with cars blocking her, front and rear in the narrow driveway between two walls. Try wait, Holly said to herself.


[PART TWENTY-NINE TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XXVII. THIS BIRD HAS FLOWN

.
KRIS GIVES UP ON HOLLY

NOW HE JUST WANTS HIS CAB BACK

Calling The Cops In Honolulu Can Backfire

(Part Twenty-Seven; Part One is HERE.)

Tad rolled through the Pali Wong's Drugs parking lot and came out on the Pali Highway. He turned back down Kukui Street, and then up Nuuanu Avenue to Vineyard Boulevard, around to Maunakea Street, and all the way down to Nimitz. There was almost twenty dollars on the meter, all Kris had given Tad. But he owed Kris for a few favors, so he went up River Street to King St, turned left on Bethel and came back across Beretania to River, and back again on Pauahi. Having cruised every street in Chinatown, he stopped. "Where to, now, Kris?"

"I don't know. Back to my house, I guess. If she's not there, I'll have to call the cops," Kris said.

"OK. Nimitz or the freeway?"

"Nimitz, to Ala Moana to Kalakaua to..."

"--I know the way, Kris. Your house on Lemon Road?"

"Yeah." Kris was feeling pretty bad. Afraid he'd never see his cab again, at least in one piece. Afraid he'd lose his job, his apartment, what little life he had left. Angry at Holly for stealing his cab. Worried that she might be hurt or in trouble. Worried that she might be back on crack cocaine, out hooking, or dead somewhere. Sorry that he might never see her again. Regretful that the life he might have had with her was over already. Sad that he might now lose everything, and be utterly alone, empty and hopeless. Despairing that nothing could stop this from happening. And hungry. Really really hungry. He hadn't eaten since yesterday.

"Tad, could you swing through Jack-In-The-Crack. I never ate anything today."

"Which one?"

"Closest one now is Cooke & Kapiolani, I guess. Kinda out of the way. Sorry."

"No problem. You're paying me, right?"

"Right." They headed for Jack-In-The-Crack and crawled through the drive-through. The girl on the speaker had difficulty understanding their order. It was just two of the cheapo fast-food outlet's most common items. But her English wasn't too good, and the mikes & speakers were lousy. And some idiot at the back of the line kept blowing his horn. She did get their order right, by some minor miracle. Tad handed the stuff over to Kris and they started back to Waikiki.

Kris eyeballed all the bars and strip joints, tattoo & massage parlours, parking lots and convenience stores on the way back. No sign of Holly, who had actually been just a block away from the Jack-In-The-Crack they'd just left, for several hours, getting Kris's car fixed. Kris kept staring out the window, scanning the streets of Waikiki with a cab driver's eye, looking for his lost love, all the way back to his house. His cab wasn't there.

"What now, Kris?"

"I guess I gotta call the cops. I'm responsible for that sh*t-box. Wait here, I wanna check upstairs. Maybe she's there."

"Hey, I gotta get back to work, man."

"Take a break, eat one of those Crack-Burgers. --One! The other one's mine. Here's my last twenty."

"Keep it. You'll owe me, if you survive."

"Yeah, thanks." Kris ran upstairs and checked his apartment. No note, nothing. No sign of Holly, except her sheets on his mattress. He couldn't believe he'd slept with that beautiful girl in his arms, right there, just a few hours ago. They'd never even had sex. And now she was gone. He went back downstairs again. Tad was munching his lunch. Kris started in on his. "Call 911."

"You sure?"

"No. Just do it. It's been at least eight hours now. I gotta do something. She could be hurt."

"Or maybe she just ripped you off."

"Yeah, maybe. Call." Tad called the cops, gave their location, and waited for a cruiser to come. They sat in Tad's big old beat-up BMW, eating greasy fast food and loving it.

The cops came screaming in about fifteen minutes later, lights and sirens blazing, blocking the driveway of Kris's apartment building. They jumped out of their cars with their guns out, pointing them at Kris and Tad. Tad and Kris sat very still in the cab, with their hands visible on the dashboard. The cops yanked them out of the car, threw them on the ground and handcuffed them, roughing them up in the process. No words were exchanged until the police had yanked the two cab drivers upright and searched them. Then Tad said, "We're the victims, not the criminals. This is my cab. His cab was stolen. He just wants to report it."

"All you f**king cab drivers are criminals. Let's see if you get any warrants outstanding," a tiny little Japanese lieutenant snarled at them. He had one of his big Samoan rookies call in Kris & Tad's ID's. There was only an old traffic warrant out for Kris. He'd forgotten to go to court on a speeding ticket, two years ago. The cops prepared to arrest him.

"Come on, I called you guys to report a real crime. Somebody stole my cab. I'm standing in my own driveway trying to report a crime. You gonna arrest me for that?"

"Book 'em, Danno."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. The girl who stole my cab, her Dad is a cop. Her name is Holly. I don't know her last name."

"Holly the Ho? She try kill her Dad, Captain Cooke? Yeah, we know her? So, you know where she is right now?"

"No, that's why I called you."

"Try wait."

Kris tried, and he waited, standing in his own driveway in handcuffs.


[ PART TWENTY-EIGHT TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XXVI. HOLLY TAKES A CAB.

.
KRIS'S NEW BRIDE DISAPPEARS WITH HIS TAXI

AS HE SEARCHES FRANTICALLY, SHE CRUISES BLITHELY ALONG

But She Means Well, And Everything always Turns Out For The Best, Right?

(Part Twenty-Six; Part One is HERE.)

Holly woke up in Kris's arms. She gently extricated herself and went into the bathroom. She peed and took a nice big dump. Then she jumped in the shower. A girl could get used to having a bathroom around all the time, she thought. She'd had more showers in five days than she normally got in five weeks of living on the street. And a toilet that worked!

Holly finished showering and toweled off. She brushed her teeth and combed her hair. She was starting to feel human again. She tiptoed through the bedroom and into the living room, closing the door on her snoring husband of just a few hours. He was OK, so far.

Holly dug through her storage boxes and bags from K-Mart, finding clean underwear, a new pair of jeans, a pink T-shirt and pink sneakers. Now I'm just a girl, just a regular girl, not a ho, she thought. She even sang a little song to herself. She felt almost happy. She'd almost forgotten about crack cocaine, after five days straight.

Holly checked the refrigerator and the kitchen cabinets: Not much in the way of food. She opened a solitary can of soda she found in the vegetable crisper of the fridge, and ate a few stale crackers that remained in a package in the cabinets. We need to go shopping, she thought. I need to go shopping, she corrected herself. I'm a housewife, now. She looked around at Kris's messy apartment. I can fix this, she thought.

Then she remembered the car. They'd banged it up pretty good last night. She had promised to fix it. She wondered if the old Japanese guy that her friend Tia had moved in with would trade her something to fix the cab. He had a body shop in Kakaako, and they lived up stairs. She could go ask.

Holly snuck in to the bedroom and picked up Kris's trousers. She hunted in the pockets till she found his keys. She took them, and a twenty dollar bill, for gas and food. She would be back soon. Better make that two twenties, for shopping. She wasn't sure how much stuff cost, since she'd been shoplifting most of her food since she'd left home. She was going to be good, from now on, no more stealing. Better make that three twenties. They were married now, so it was OK, right? She put Kris's trousers back, gave him a little kiss, and slipped out.

Holly went through her boxes again, picking out her few bits of nice jewelery, things her mother had given her that she never wore. She had been saving them for a rainy day. She hated to part with them, but she had to get Kris's cab fixed so he could go back to work. Otherwise, they'd both be homeless. She took her jewelry and stashed the bags and boxes in the corner of the living room behind Kris's big funky chair.

Holly looked around once and then went outside, locking the door behind her. She went downstairs and checked out Kris's cab. It wasn't too bad. Just broken plastic on the left front and right rear signal lights. Shouldn't be too hard to fix, Holly thought, hoping her jewelry would cover it. She got in and started the car. It was the biggest car she'd ever driven. She would have to be careful. She adjusted the seat and the mirrors, and pulled out of the carport under Kris's building.

Holly drove carefully down to the Ala Wai and took that to Kalakaua, turning left onto Kapiolani by the Rocky Horror Cafe. There were taxis parked in their parking lot. Holly wondered if they were from Kris's company. She cruised on by and turned off Kapiolani onto Cooke Street, and then into Kawaiahao Street, where Tia and Hoshi lived. She crept along the narrow street until she found the body shop they lived above, pulling into the driveway.

Hoshi came out of the shop and checked out the car. Then he saw who was driving it and laughed. "You! Wot you doin' wit dis kine car? Too big for you, I t'ink. It's one taxi, too! You one taxi-driver, now! Hah-hah-ha-ha!"

"Yup! I'm a cabbie! Eh, can fix dis?"

"Oh, I don't know. Get money?"

"Get jewelry. Bettah dan money." Holly got out of the car and walked around to where Hoshi was standing, digging in her pockets for the jewelry she hoped to pay with.

"Not to me!"

"Eh, to me, den!" bellowed his "lady," Tia, a six-foot, two-hundred pound Hawaiian mahu in tight lime-green capri pants, a bright purple blouse, lots of big gold jewelry and gigantic gold-lame heels, who had suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs on the outside of the body shop. "Eh, dat you, Holly! Oh, look at you! You look so nice! Wot you doin'? Come, come, up heah, we get girl talk. Eh, Hoshi-san, you fix da cah fah me, can?"

"Can," the little old Japanese man said obediently, and set to it.

"OK, den, Holly, come, come, come!"

Holly went up the stairs and they went into the tiny kitchen upstairs.

"Tea? You like kau kau? Get fried rice from lunch. You hungry?"

Holly smiled and nodded her assent. It was almost like a real home, here with her former Chinatown mentor. "Yes, please, Miss Tia. So good to see you!" She started crying.

"Eh, no cry, you gonna make me cry, I so happy for see you! Tell me everyt'ing!"

"Well..." Holly began, pausing to think of all the wonderful things that had happened to her in the last five days. "It started like this, Auntie..."


[ PART TWENTY-SEVEN TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XXV. THE DAY AFTER

.
THE NIGHT AFTER

AFTER HOLLY

And Kris's Stolen Taxi-Cab

(Part Twenty-Five; Part One is HERE.)

Kris's cab was gone. Holly was gone. His keys were gone. The little whore, his brand new bride, had stolen his car.

Maybe she thought she had a right to it, as his wife, Kris thought. Maybe she was out picking up fares in it right now. Or tricks. Did she even know how to drive? Had she gone downtown to score drugs? Had she sold the cab in Chinatown, or traded it for a few rocks of crack cocaine? Was she back to her old life already? Where the f**k was she?

Enraged and panic-stricken, Kris hurried down Kalakaua Avenue. He walked along the beach side until he came to the Moana Surfrider, and crossed the street. He walked down Kaiulani Street to Kuhio Avenue and turned into the main bazaar, looking for someone, anyone he knew. There were just the usual international tourists, Mainland gangsters and local scum crowded the sidewalks, hustling and being hustled. Corrupt cops chatted with transplanted Seattle pimps like old friends. Teenage prostitutes from San Diego and Vegas, Chicago and Memphis grabbed at Japanese men right in front of their wives and children, trying to drag them into conveniently-located f**k-pads, right off the strip. Gigantic Samoan drag-queens, 6'6" 300lb. mahu's in muu-muu's, peddled pakalolo and "pu**y-on-a-stick" to horny soldiers and sailors on leave and liberty. "Local boys" fresh off the boat followed solo drunks into alleys and beat them senseless for the few dollars in their wallets, and the sport. A world-class destination, it was, with plenty of "aloha."

Kris walked frantically from one end of Waikiki to the other, looking for Holly, or his cab, or somebody he knew, anybody. He saw no one, nothing. In twenty minutes, he was out of Waikiki. He stopped at the Rocky Horror Cafe, a lame theme restaurant chain, near the new Convention Center that was already closed for repairs. The restaurant staff were dressed as characters from the movie. Mostly Meat Loaf, which was their signature dish. There were usually cabs parked there. There might be somebody he knew.

Kris spotted his friend Tad, sitting in his taxi, an old BMW sedan. He went up to him and asked if Tad had seen his cab around.

"Your cab?" Tad asked, surprised. "Why, did you lose it? Been drinking again?"

"No. Yeah. It's missing," Kris answered.

"Where'd it go missing?" Tad sniffed at Kris's breath. It wasn't good, but he wasn't drunk.

"My house. Some girl took it, I think." Kris looked glum.

"You think? Some girl? You know this girl?" Tad pressed his examination.

"Yeah, I married her last night. This morning. Well, not really, it was just a lion, in the zoo, and, it's complicated. Can you help me find it?"

"Hunh. OK. I guess. You want me to call it in?"

"Just ask the dispatcher if my cab is on the road."

"OK. You want to call the cops, Kris?"

"No, Tad. Just see if anybody has seen my car. Say you have an urgent personal message for me."

"Affirmative. Roger Wilco. Ten-four," Tad laughed

"Just shut up and do it, wouldjya? Gimme a break! I'm in trouble here."

Tad put the call in. Kris stalked around the Cafe parking lot, fretting. If she messed up his cab. Or sold it. If he lost those strong-boxes, or somebody opened them. SH*T!!! Tad called him over. "He said he'd put it out, to call him if anybody sees your cab."

"OK, thanks. You got a cell-phone?"

Tad gave him the number. A cab cruised by on Kalakaua that looked like Kris's. "Sh*t, follow that cab, Tad," Kris ordered, jumping in the front seat of the BMW.

"I've been on the line here for an hour!" Tad protested.

"I'll PAY you, OK? Just follow. Here's twenty to start." By the time Tad got out on the street, the light had changed. Kris thought he had seen his cab turn left on Kapiolani Boulevard and head downtown. He told Tad to go that way, when the light changed. Tad turned left and headed towards Keeaumoku Street, past all the strip joints, tattoo shops, peep shows, massage parlors and Korean hostess-bars of the elegant shopping district. No sign of his cab. No sign of Holly.

"Where to now?" Tad asked.

"Chinatown."

"I hate that place. Nothing but whores and crack-heads. Why would your new bride go there?"

"Maybe she wants to get me a fresh hand-made lei," Kris smirked.

"HAH! Yeah. A lei! Hah. OK. But I ain't stopping down there. And no trouble."

"No trouble. Just go."

They took Ala Moana to Aloha Tower, and turned up Bethel Street, up to Beretania, and back down Nuuanu to Nimitz, at Kris's direction. Then up Smith Street to the spot where Kris had first seen Holly, laying in the middle of the road. She wasn't there. Neither was his cab. There was another hooker standing in a doorway. When Tad slowed down, she came sidling over. "You want a date?" She was maybe five years older than Holly's 18, but she looked 40.

"Um, no. But I'll pay for some information. $20 bucks if you can tell me where Holly is right now." Kris offered, digging in his rapidly emptying pocket.

"Oh, she ovah by da pahk. Twenny bucks, please," the ho demanded sweetly.

"Yeah, no. I'm serious. I need your help."

"No kala, no kokua," she hawked and spit.

"No info, no dough. Do you know Holly or no?"

"Holly who? Dat haole ho? I never see her, tonight." She was getting tired of Kris, and looked up and down the street for a paying customer.

"If you see her, tell her Kris is looking for her."

"Eh, wot I looks like, her maddah?"

"Few more months, maybe," Kris joked.

"Eh, no get smart! I don't owe you no favors!" she said indignantly.

"Here. Here's ten bucks. If she calls me, you get another ten," Kris said, peeling off a ten from his miniscule bankroll.

"How I know dat?"

"Give me your card, Ted. Here, tell her call this number. If you see her, you call, if she calls me, you get the other $10."

"OK, OK, OK. Eh, get one cigarette?" she wheedled.

"Sorry, I don't smoke. Tad?"

"Just cigars," Tad said, pulling the pack of cheap stinkers from his shirt pocket.

"I like one cigah, den. Eh, mahalos. You like one date?" She smiled a big crooked toothless smile.

"Uh, not tonight, thanks. Gotta work," Tad demurred.

"OK, den, nex' time. I give you da kamaina rate, cuz you so nice, dats why. Not you, tho: Full price," she said to Kris, turning on her heel and stalking off.

"Great. She'll be a big help." Tad pulled away from the curb. "Where to now?"

"Cruise by Aala Park, then go up to Kukui Street."

"So, you married a whore? Hunh. Me too. Only I didn't know it at the time. At least yours is honest."

"Except she stole my cab."

"There's that."

They cruised the park, a refuge for homeless drug addicts, and Kukui Street, where transsexual and transvestite prostitutes hustled tricks right in front of funeral parlors.

"Can't say you weren't warned about the health risks. Couldn't make it any plainer if they hung poison signs on them. Oh, sorry. No offense."

"None taken, Tad."

There was no sign of Holly.


[ PART TWENTY-SIX TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XXIV. THE WEDDING NIGHT

.
OR THE MORNING AFTER

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS

Kris The Cabbie & Holly The Ho Begin Married Life Together

(Part Twenty-Four; Part One is HERE.)


"So this is marriage," Kris said aloud. Oblivious, Holly slept on, warm and soft in his arms, smelling of girl and soap and more girl. He wanted to eat her, to devour her fresh young flesh, to consume her youth and her beauty. He licked her arm, tasting the sweet skin. Just a little bite, just one. He clamped his teeth over the flesh of her beautiful arm and bit down. The flesh resisted. It would only take a little more pressure to begin feeding.

Holly stirred in her sleep, deeply exhausted, unaware that she was prey in the den of a monster. Kris tightened his grip on her and luxuriated in the feeling of Holly's complete surrender. She was utterly vulnerable, totally helpless. He could do anything he wanted to her, absolutely anything. Her blood throbbed rhythmically through her veins, his teeth could feel the life in her. It was his for the taking. It was exquisite.

He would take his time with this one. He would not rip her apart in a mad frenzy. He would slowly, delicately savour her, every last drop of her, every wave of fear and bolt of pain, every last breath. He might take an hour, a day, a week or a month to finish her. She was too fine a delicacy to waste. For now, he would hold her, pinion her in his strong arms, watching her sleep.

He could keep her, like a young lamb, feeding her and fattening her, currying her and caressing her, cherishing her and delighting in her. Then, one Easter morning, he might slaughter her, stripping the gentle covering of her, gutting her and hanging her upside down to bleed out, washing himself in the blood of the lamb. Bit by savoury bit he would kiss and eat the very meat of her, until all of her was inside of him. The ultimate sacrifice to the demons of love and lust, hunger and desire. A wonderful dream!

Kris drifted off to sleep with his victim in his arms, snoring softly in his ear. He slept peacefully as a ravenous wolf, content in the dreams of his kills. Holly would be his greatest triumph, his work of art, his masterpiece of barbarity and horror. The evil gods would have to recognize him then, make him one of their own. Then no delicious young human female would ever be safe again, until the end of time.

Tens, hundreds, thousands of Holly's awaited him in his dream, spread out against an endless plain like the fleshly rewards of a mad martyr, virgins dedicated to a holy monster by an evil Almighty. They would surround him and caress him until he felt himself exploding like a terrorist on a busload of children. Aaaaahhhhhaaaaaahhh!!!

Kris awoke to find himself humping Holly's pillow, which was now all sticky and wet. He tossed it on the floor and fell back asleep, dreaming more terrible dreams. He slept on well into the night, then opened his eyes to darkness. He felt around the bed, not finding Holly. Had he dreamt her? Had he dreamed up all of the last few days? Did Holly even exist?

There were sheets on his bed. He'd never had any sheets. There on the floor was a pillow in a pillowcase. He didn't own a pillow. The bathroom door was closed but the light was on inside. Kris got out of bed, just a mattress on the floor, and lurched towards the bathroom door. He knocked on it. "Holly?" No answer. He opened the door. The shower was wet and smelled of fruity soap. The towel was wet. No Holly.

Kris pulled on his boxer shorts and jeans, sox and T-shirt. He went into the living room and turned on the light. No Holly. Her boxes were gone. So were the keys to his cab. He got his spare keys from a drawer, slipped on his shoes and went outside. No Holly. He locked the apartment door behind him and went downstairs. No Holly.

Kris went into the carport beneath the building. His car was gone. In it were his secret strongboxes, and their contents, just dug up the night before. He walked out into the street and looked up and down the block. No Holly.

The little whore had stolen his cab, along with his secret.


[ PART TWENTY-FIVE TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XXIII. "HAWAIIAN WEDDING SONG," THE REMIX

.
MR. KRIS & MRS. HOLLY BEGIN THEIR LIFE TOGETHER WITH A SONG

BREAKFAST AT BENNY'S

How Do I Say This Gently? THIS SONG BLOWS!!!

(Part Twenty-Three; Part One is HERE.)

Kris & Holly left the zoo a married couple, followed by the sounds of parrots and monkeys, elephants and lions, giraffes and tigers wishing them well. Holly took Kris's hand and led him across Kapahulu Avenue.

"I'm starving! Can we have breakfast at Benny's? I love Benny's!" Holly asked.

"It's our honeymoon. I think the bride gets whatever she wants." Kris replied.

"Ho! I shoulda got married years ago! Le's go!" She ran ahead alone, stopping at the front door to Benny's and dancing with joy. "Come on, slow-poke! Breakfast getting cold, already!" Kris caught up and they went inside and sat at a table. There was a small jukebox, and Holly wanted to play something on it. Kris dug out some quarters and Holly fed the little machine.

"What kine music you like?"

"Oh, you know. Polka. Bulgarian chants. Klezmer."

"Whaaa? I pick the songs, then. OK?"

"Your wish is my command."

"Oh, really? Hm. We'll see about that, Mr. Man! Oh, look! 'Hawaiian Wedding Song.' A-19." She punched in A-19. After a moment, noises began to issue forth from the juke-box. "Eh, what is dat? Sound like da elephants wen' faht."

"Dunno. Never heard this song before. Kinda sad, for a wedding song. How' bout the Dixie Cups?"

"Oh, you one redneck, now? Dats OK. I fix you." She reached across the table and took Kris's hand, squeezing it. The waitress showed up, a tough old local girl with tatoo's up the wazoo. "Eh, Tita, love those tat's!"

"Tanks, eh? You guys like drink something?"

"Get POG?"

"No, only OJ and pineapple, canned."

"OK, OK, OK, OJ. Two. Yeah?" She raised her pretty eyebrows to Kris.

"You're the boss."

"HAH! I da luna, now! We just get married, das why."

"Oh, congratulations! OJ on da house, den"

"For reals? Tanks, eh!"

"I go get 'em."

"She kinda talk funny. T'ink she from Molokai. Maybe Lanai."

"Maybe. Hey, you want pancakes, eggs, waffles?"

"All t'ree! Nah. Just, um, sweet-bread French toast, with the coconut syrup. My favorite kine."

"Your wish..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. What you getting?"

"Ham & cheese omelette. Potatoes & toast. Coffee & OJ."

"Haole food."

"American food."

"Whatevers."

"What's the matter, getting sick of me, already"

"Almos'! NAH! I just hungry." She started pounding on the table with her silverware. The waitress brought their orange juice in tiny little glasses, and they clinked glasses and drank the juice straight down. They ordered breakfast, and then wolfed it right down. Kris paid and they walked back to the car over by the zoo, got in and drove around the corner to Kris's apartment. They parked, and grabbed Holly's boxes from the back seat. Kris left his strongboxes in the trunk. They were beginning to smell ripe. They went upstairs and dumped Holly's boxes in the living room. Holly grabbed a quick shower with coconut soap from K-Mart. Kris followed with a quick rinse of his own. When he finished, He found Holly had produced sheets from one of her boxes, and even a pillow. The bed was all dressed, and Holly was lying naked in it. "Come on in, husband."

Kris dried himself off and got in bed with his new bride. She looked and smelled incredible. It was a dream come true. He hugged her close to him and squeezed her good. That's when she began to snore.


[ PART TWENTY-FOUR TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XXII. MARRY IN HASTE, REPENT AT LEISURE

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A MATCH MADE IN A ZOO, OFF TO A WILD START

IF YOU COULD TALK TO THE ANIMALS, WOULD YOU?

The Hard Part Is Having Anything To Say After The Wedding Night

(Part Twenty-Two; Part One is HERE.)


"Hello," the lion roared again, more quietly this time.

"Ho! Dat lion is talking to me, Kris!" Holly exclaimed.

"Yeah. I know, " agreed Kris.

"Excuse me. That was rude. We haven't been properly introduced. I am Bennifer, King of Beasts."

"Oh! Hi! Ah, I am Holly, Ho of Chinatown. Hello, King! Ah, how are you today?"

"Tol'able, tol'able. Yourselves?" the roaring lion inquired of both of them, smiling generously and toothily.

"Very well, um, your majesty. OK to call you that, um, your majesty?"

"Yes, but capitalize it."

"You can hear capital letters?"

"We're not really talking. We're reading each other's minds. I can see the letters, and hear the words."

"I'm just hearing them. But it sounds like the words are in my ears."

"Yes," said the lion. That's how it works." He yawned again. "So, what brings you kids here so early?"

"We'd like to get married. But we cannot find the kahuna."

"Well, in my capacity as King of Beasts, I have the authority to marry you. It is you two, yes?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. And my name is Kris.

"Ah, that's better, Kris. It was grating on my ears the other way."

"Sorry, YOUR MAJESTY."

"No need to shout!" roared the lion. "Initial capitals only, please!"

"Sorry."

"No problem. Now, if you'll just open my cage..."

"How? Get one big kine lock, braddah lion, King, sir."

"You don't have any keys on you? Or lock picks? Or files?"

"No. Sorry."

"Uh," began Kris, thinking of the bone-saw in the trunk of his cab, and the chainsaw back in his apartment, just around the corner.

"NO! NO! NO!" shrieked the monkeys in the monkey-house behind them. "He'll eat you if you let him out!"

"Oh, pshaw," mocked the lion, "I'd never eat such two fine upstanding young kids! Especially you, little Holly. You'd hardly make a light snack." He licked his maw luxuriously.

"Oh. That's good. Uh, so, can you just marry us from in there, and not come out and eat us, anyways?"

"Well, I suppose so, if you insist."

"Ssssssss," hissed the snakes from the snake-house. "Don't do it! Marriage never worksssss out!"

"YES! YES! YES!" shrieked the monkeys, "It works out fine!"

"Who will be your witnesses?" inquired the King of Beasts.

"WE WILL," trumpeted the elephants next door. "IT'S SUCH A LOVELY DAY FOR A WEDDING," they bellowed, and began to cry.

"Ssssssso ssssssentimental! Sssssstupid!" hissed the snakes.

"OK, I guess we're all ready, then, Mr. King."

"Kris?"

"Ready, Your Majesty."

"All right then. Beasties and gentlemen, ladies and animals, we are gathered here in the sight of the Lord of Creation to join this man, Kris, and this woman, Holly, in the bonds of Holy Matrimony," the lion intoned.

The elephants were blubbering away, the monkeys were chattering their heads off, the snakes were hissing fiercely, and the birds in the aviary had begun to sing and call. The noise was deafening.

"QUIET!!!" roared the lion, at full throat. It got quiet. "Thank you. Ahem. Now, where was I? Ah, yes, if there are no objections, in the name of the City & County Zoo of Honolulu, Hawaii, and by the powers vested in me by evolution, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may devour, er, kiss the bride."

"Wait, don't you gotta ask us stuff, first? And what about the ring?"

"Sorry. In this ceremony, you only get one lion."

"OK, OK. Kris, I promise to be nice and good and kind and stuff, long as you treat me right. You get one ring?"

"Ah, mm, just a key ring."

"OK, for now. But I like one diamond, yeah?"

"I'll see what I can do. Here, let me take the keys off it, and put it on your finger. There. I promise to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part, Amen. Now we kiss." And so they did.

The lion roared congratulatorily, and all the animals set up a hue and cry. The monkeys were ecstatic, and the elephants had to blow their trunks repeatedly, they were crying so much. The giraffe quite twisted her neck trying to see it all. And the birds all began to sing a beautiful wild song together. It all made Holly very happy. It was like a Disney movie, with prostitutes.

The morning sun had risen well above Diamond Head now, and the light was streaming in between the leaves of the trees all around the zoo. The zoo was open to the public now, and tourists began to stream in. Kris and Holly could no longer hear any words from the animals. They began to wonder if they hadn't imagined it all; maybe everything that had happened to them in the last twenty-four hours was all one big dream, or an hallucination.

And then the lion roared, "Congratulations!" plainly in their ears as they left the zoo. The monkeys screeched, "Best Wishes!!!" And the elephants blubbered, "Oh, it was so beautiful." But the snakes just hissed, "Sssssuckerssssss!!!"


[ PART TWENTY-THREE TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XXI. WEDDING BELLS ARE PLAYING IN THE AVIARY

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THE MONKEYS LOVE A CEREMONY MORE THAN MOST

SENTIMENTAL ELEPHANTS ARE ALWAYS CRYING

So, The Lion Doesn't Sleep Tonight

(Part Twenty-One; Part One is HERE.)

Holly let go of Kris's b**ls. He skidded the car sideways, and broke through a chain closing off a small lookout parking lot. The big Cadillac swung around backwards, and hit the rock wall, breaking a tail-light. They came to a dead stop, their heads bouncing on their necks.

"Jesus!" Kris screeched.

"Whoa! Nice driving!" Holly exclaimed, patting Kris on the shoulder.

"Nice driving? Nice driving? You almost got us killed just now!"

"Eh, almost only counts in hahss-shoes, brah. Dis our lucky night!"

Kris got out of the cab and inspected the damage. The parking-lot chain had broken his left front turn signal light. The right rear tail-light was busted also.

"SH*T!!!"

"Not so bad. We can get 'em fixed tomorrow."

"With WHAT? I don't have money for this."

"Don't worry, brah, I can sell some of my stuff in those boxes in your back seat right there. Get some valuable junks there. No worries. I fix 'em tomorrow. Come on, we pahtnahs, now, yeah?" She hugged him and kissed him and rubbed his crotch.

"Knock it off, will ya? That's what got us into this mess."

"OK, OK, OK, I sorry. Save 'em for the honeymoon. Come on, the car is OK for now. Let's go get married."

"Where can you get married at this hour? This ain't Vegas."

"My friend got married at the zoo, at sunrise. All the animals were there. It was kewl."

"Without a license or a preacher?"

"No. They had all that. The old Hawaiian guy that's always by the bandstand, playing ukulele, he married them."

"That guy is a licensed minister?"

"I don't know about licenses. He's a kahuna, some kine, I think. A kapuna, anyways. Official Hawaiian kine."

"And the license?"

"No need. I trust you. We get 'em laters."

Shaking his head, Kris got back in the cab. They drove off out of the sunrise, which was just beginning to color the edge of the sky behind them. As they passed Hanauma Bay, the lights of Hawaii Kai spread out before them from the top of Koko Head. They could see the back of Diamond Head against the stars, and the lights of Waikiki.

"It's pretty here, no?"

"Yeah. It is. Sometimes."

Kris turned off the Kalanianaole Highway at the Kahana Mall, taking the back roads around Diamond Head to avoid the cops, with his broken signal lights. He pulled into the zoo parking lot behind Kapiolani Park and parked.

"So, you excited?"

"Why? What crazy sh*t are you going to pull now?"

"HAH! You'll see, husband!"

They walked over to the bandstand. It was still dark in the shadow of Diamond Head, and there was no one visible. Little noises off in the bushes indicated that there might be people sleeping there. There was no one else around except for a few solitary nuts, jogging.

"So. No kahuna."

"OK, let's do it anyway. I know how."

"You know how to what?"

"Get married! I been to lots of weddings. Come on, I'll show you." Holly pulled Kris along, across Monsarrat to the back of the zoo.

"It's closed, you know."

"More better. I know where there's a hole in the fence."

"You would."

"I do! See! This way!" She pulled aside a section of fence at a pole, and popped inside. Kris squeezed in behind her. They were in the zoo, at dawn. Mission accomplished. Just then, a lion roared, seemingly right in their faces. They could smell the rotting flesh on his breath. He was just the other side of a big wrought-iron fence, blinking at them.

"Ho! You scared us! Good morning, Mr. Lion."

The lion yawned enormously, and pawed at his enclosure. "Good morning," he roared, "Sorry I scared you."


[ PART TWENTY-TWO TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XX. THE UNBEARABLE HEAVINESS OF BEING ALONE

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HOLLY PROPOSES, KRIS DISPOSES

SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE, OF SORTS

The Last Few Miles Of The Long Way Home

(Part Twenty; Part One is HERE.)

Kris spit his coffee all over the inside of his windshield. He had to slam on the brakes before he went blindly off a cliff.

"Well?" asked Holly.

"Well, what?" Kris answered as he dug under his seat for paper towels.

"You heard me. You like marry me?"

"Yeah, I guess I did hear you. I thought I was imagining things again."

"Good things or bad things?"

"I dunno. You're awful cute..."

"Eh, you said I was 'beautiful,' not cute, you fahkkah!"

"Yeah. I did, didn't I?" Kris took a good long look at the beautiful young girl in the seat next to him in his cab. Two days of rest, a good hot shower, new clothes & make-up, some good hot food and a complete rejuvenation by the aliens hadn't done her any harm at all. She looked radiant in the light of the dashboard. "But why would you want to marry me?"

"You said you would take care of me."

"I said I would help you take care of yourself."

"Yeah. I like that."

"But all I really have is this beat-up old taxi, a really crummy job, and a tiny little hotbox apartment I can't even afford. I can still help you some, but there's not much I can offer you."

"You got more than I got. I don't have a bed, a shower, a toilet, a sink, a refrigerator, a stove, a chair, a TV, nothing. You got all that stuff."

"And that's enough for you?"

"A roof over my head, and somebody nice who cares about me? That's a lot. More than I had, like forevers..."

"Hm. Let me think about it." He got the car going again, winding up the rocks of Makapuu. The ocean below was still dark, but the surf pounding the rocks was vaguely luminescent, and there were millions of stars. It was like the world had started all over again.

"What you gotta think about? You don't like me?" She pulled her skirt up to show Kris her long, shapely legs.

"Don't do that. You know I think you're hot. You know I like you, a lot. But I just can't believe a girl as young and pretty as you would ever want to stay with me, like, forever."

"Well, stop saying so nice things to me if you're not gonna marry me. You making me cry." She wiped away a tear.

"Marriage is supposed to be forever, you know."

"Supposed to be. Lotta things 'supposed to be.' You don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. So what if it doesn't last forever? Nothing is forever. You don't want some 'a dis?" She pulled her dress below her breasts, showing them off with her beautiful smile.

"Cut it out, willya! You want me to drive off a cliff?"

"See, you like me!"

"Of course I like you! I'm a man, and I'm not blind. But what happens if I really fall in love with you, and then you go away?"

"Well, you better be nice to me, then I'll never go away."

"Yeah. Like I said. Too good to be true."

"How 'bout this? Too good to be true?" Holly grabbed Kris's crotch, and gave him a good squeeze. He lost control of the speeding Cadillac, and it veered into the oncoming lane. A big truck came around the bend, headed right for them. Kris tried to regain control of the car, but there was just no way he could avoid the truck and still stay on the road. They were headed right for the edge of the cliff, and the surf-pounded rocks a hundred feet below.

"OK! OK!! I'LL MARRY YOU!!! NOW LET GO OF MY B*LLS!!!!"



[ PART TWENTY-ONE TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XIX. ALIEN REJECTION SYNDROME

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SOME DAYS, YA CAN'T EVEN GET PROBED

WHAT TO DO WHEN A STRANGE VISITOR FROM ANOTHER PLANET DUMPS YOU

Holly & Kris Submit Themselves to Examination By The Men From The Stars, Or Wherever, Or Whoever, Or Whatever

(Part Nineteen; Part One is HERE.)

The cool green light from the spaceship hovering overhead enveloped and invigorated them, calming them at the same time. Holly & Kris felt themselves become lighter, as if they were beginning to float. There was a low humming and then a kind of sloshing sound, as if they were being tasted. This went on for several minutes. Then there was a spewing sound, and they were tossed to the ground, as the light went out. The space ship began to withdraw.

"Hey! Where you going?" Holly shouted at the UFO.

"I think they just spat us out."

"WHAT???!!! We not good enough fah dem???!!!" Holly shook her fist at the retreating spacecraft.

"Maybe we're not bad enough. Maybe they just like to fix really bad people, like those two scumbags." The two scumbags could be seen strolling along the highway, arm in arm, a foot off the ground in the glowing golden shoes the aliens had given them.

"EH!!! YOU!!! ALIENS!!! I'm bad enough! Look!" She picked up a rock and aimed it Kris's head. Nothing happened. She threw the rock at the UFO instead, missing by a wide margin. "KEFE!!! OOFAH!!! BASTAHDS!!!" Holly was so mad and frustrated, she started crying.

"Hey, take it easy. You don't want to end up like those two zombies, do you?"

"No. But they're all fixed up now. I like get all fixed up too. And I like those shoes."

"Your bites and scratches are all gone."

"Anh, you fixed that up for me."

"Yeah, but they're all completely gone, now. And you had some bruises, too, that're gone now."

"So they fixed me up?"

"Looks like it. Maybe you just didn't need as much fixing as those guys. How do you feel?"

"OK. How do you feel?"

"OK, I guess. Not so tired."

"You still crazy, tho?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"OK. Me, too. So, what we gonna do now?"

"Go home?"

"But what about the aliens?"

"We still got their phones."

"Oh, yeah!" Holly took hers out. "Hey, it has all my favorite songs on it! KEWL!!!

"Mine just has porn videos. Cool. Hey, I got a text message." He opened the message on the aliens' I-phone. "It says 'A gift from the Interstellar Trust, LLC.' It has a phone number. Let's try it."

"No, me!" Holly pressed the number into her alien I-phone. "Sh*t!"

"What?"

"Busy!"

"Figures. Well, we can try later."

"I could text them."

"Text them what?"

"I dunno. Something."

"Here, we've got three wishes and we can't think of anything."

"We get three wishes?"

"Maybe that's just genies in a bottle, not aliens in a cell-phone."

"Stoopit, you. I gonna say 'Thank You!' anyways. We'll think of something else later." She texted the aliens her gratitude. "OK, I did it."

"Any response?"

"No. Not yet. Maybe they busy, flying da spaceship. Give 'em time."

"OK, well, let's move along. Might be more scumbags out here tonight."

"I don't see the spaceship any more. I miss them already."

"Maybe they'll come back."

"We can always call them, right?"

"Right."

"OK. Let's go, then."

They walked to the cab and got back in. Kris pulled the big Cadillac back out onto the Kamehameha Highway, and headed towards Makapuu Point, the south-east corner of the island, more or less. The skies had cleared completely, and there were millions of stars all the way down to the dark horizon. A warm breeze was blowing in off the ocean, so Kris rolled all the windows down. Holly turned in her seat beside Kris, facing him.

"Kris? Will you marry me?"


[ PART TWENTY TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XVIII. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE HAWAIIAN KINE

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E.T., PHONE WAIMANALO

HOLLY & KRIS'S 2009 SPACE ODDITY

In Which Aliens Establish A Beachhead On Oahu

(Part Eighteen; Part One is HERE.)

The brilliant ruby-red light that had held Kris's assailant suddenly vanished, taking the man and his rock with it.

The golden lights that engulfed Kris, Holly and the other attacker held them fast. Then Holly & Kris's lights flickered out, leaving only the Hawaiian thug caught like a fly in amber. He stared at them, terrified, as they walked around him. When they touched the shaft of light, nothing happened. But they could not touch its' prisoner. He was paralyzed, but beyond harm.

"Woooow!" Holly exclaimed.

"Double wow." Kris agreed.

"What should we do?"

"If they let us go, maybe we should get the Hell out of here, hunh?"

"But this is E.T., man! We're their First Contact! I wanna boldly go where no ho has gone befo'!"

"Hah!"

"Hey, you laughed! I never heard you laugh before. That's good! Come on, lets talk to the aliens!"

"How? Have you heard them say anything?"

"No, but they gotta be able to hear us, and see us, right? Why else they saved us?"

"That doesn't mean we can understand each other."

"Eh, they understood who the bad guy was here! I think they must be pretty smart to come all the way here to this planet from Outer Space, anyway, yeah?"

"Yeah, but maybe they just want to eat us."

"No way! What they were eating before?"

"Somebody else? Maybe they ate them all up."

"Nah! They gotta be nice people, or else they no save us, just now."

Just then, the thug with the rock came back, in a sudden flash of blue light. His rock was gone. He was all cleaned up. He was wearing a pink jump-suit with frilly shorts, and golden slippers that seemed to glow in the dark, allowing him to hover an inch off the ground. He smiled beatifically at Holly and Kris as the blue light winked out, leaving him kneeling right in front of them.

"Please, my dear friends, forgive me for my erstwhile hostile behavior. I simply did not know any better. But now I do," he said, his eyes shining strangely.

"Eh, jus' stay away from us, you crazy fahkkah! You try kill my friend wit' one rock!"

"Yes, I know. And I am deeply sorry for that. I assure you, my intentions are entirely peaceable. Come, let us rejoice in our immanent deliverance from thousands of years of barbarism! Our saviors are here!" The thug stood up and pointed to the UFO, which was hovering above them. "Here, they have sent gifts for you."

"How 'bout those golden shoes? I like those! I get narrow feets, tho."

"Haven't got any of those, but, here," he reached into a small white purse hanging on his belt, and pulled out two I-Phones, giving one to Kris and one to Holly.

"Wait," said Kris," is there a contract with this?"

"Eh, it's all charged up! They are advanced!" Holly said.

The reformed rock-thrower went over to his brother thug, still frozen by the light. "Brother! Are you ready to accept the Message?" His brother could not move or speak, except to blink his eyes. "Blink once if you accept!"

He blinked once, and the light went out, allowing him to move. He knocked his brother to the ground and tore his purse off his belt. "Eh, you crazy! You not my braddah!" With that, a red light enveloped him, he screamed and was gone.

"There, you see, my friends? Our saviors will tolerate no violence. They harmed not a hair on my head, only made me one with them, in spirit. And now my brother will be one with us, also," the saved one said.

"So, what they did to you? You was only gone, like, few minutes?"

"Really? Ah, it seemed like a wonderful eternity. I don't remember everything, but it all felt good. And it worked! Look at me!"

"Hunh. So, does your okole hurt at all?"

"No, not really. Well, maybe a little, now that you mention it. Why?"

Just then, the special blue light reappeared, this time delivering the other thug. He, too was all cleaned up, and attired just as his brother was now.

"Brother! O, Brother! I am saved!"

"Indubitably!"

"And quintessentially!"

"You know, I was just saying to Auntie Honey-Girl how much I felt myself on the verge of something new, some great change!"

"And I myself have been feeling somewhat adrift, of late; as if I had missed my ship in life. Isn't this simply miraculous?"

"Indubitably."

"Come, let us bring the Word to all of Waimanalo!"

"And why not the whole Windward Side?"

"Capital idea. Shall we get to it, then?"

"Indubitably."

The two former thugs went off, arm-in-arm, chattering like chipmunks. Kris and Holly just stood and stared, open-mouthed. The UFO hovering over their heads cast a beam of green light over them. They felt themselves become cool, calm and collected. There was a strange noise in the air, a kind of low humming, and then the world seemed to fade. Holly took Kris's hand, and waited for what would happen next.


[ PART NINETEEN TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XVII. CHEEZIT, DA COPS!

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HONOLULU'S CAVALRY MAKES AN APPEARANCE

A CHILD-MOLESTER LIVES TO RAPE ANOTHER DAY

Holly & Kris Take It On The Lam

(Part Seventeen; Part One is HERE.)

"Sh*t! Look at all those cops!" Holly whispered.

Kris started the car and swung around behind the gas station. He got out and took the taxi dome light out of the trunk, clapped it on the roof and plugged it in. "Duck down," he told Holly as he pulled out of the shopping center and rolled past the cops. They ignored the cab. Kris turned onto the beach road, bypassing downtown Kailua and the police substation there. He turned onto the back road to Enchanted Lake and rolled quietly all the way to the Kalanianaole Highway, turning south toward Waimanalo.

"Where you going now?"

"Scenic route. Cops'll be watching the other way." He didn't want to ride the Pali Highway right into the Chinatown drug supermarket, either. Holly had been off crack for four days, now.

"Can we stop for a soda or something? I'm dying of thirst."

"Well, it beats getting shot to death."

"HAH! Yeah! Boy! That was close, hunh?"

"Very close."

"You were really going to kill my Dad for me?"

"Did he really rape you?"

"Yeah. I told you. Lotta times."

"OK, then."

"Cuz you love me, right?"

"You're OK."

"Ah! Just OK, now?"

"Kinda funny-looking."

"You said I was beautiful, too."

"Yeah. But in a funny way."

"Shut up!"

Kris pulled over at a 7/11 in Waimanalo. They went inside and Holly fixed herself a Slurpee with two different flavors and got a small bag of Cheezits. Kris got coffee and bottled water. The big Hawaiian girl at the register rang him up.

Two Hawaiian men in their fifties came in and each went the opposite way, circling the store. They met at the back near the beer cooler and tried to tug it open. It was after midnight, and the cooler was locked until morning. "SHIT!" one of them shouted. The other one grabbed a couple of small bottles of vodka from an open shelf and ran for the door. The big Hawaiian girl was already there, blocking the way. "SHIT!" the same guy shouted, from behind. The other one gave her the bottles and she let him go outside. The first guy edged past the clerk, saying, "What time you coming home?"

"After six o'clock in the morning." replied the clerk.

"Bring some beer wit' you," demanded the thief.

"I not old enough," the clerk said.

"How old, you, now?" asked the thief.

"Nineteen, Dad," the clerk sighed.

"Oh. Must be da addah one," the thief responded.

"Yeah." He went outside. The other guy yelled, "Good night, Leilani!"

"Good night, Uncle John." She sighed and came back behind the counter. "Anything else?"

"Nope."

"I'll use my card for gas, OK?"

"OK. Pump numba 2 no work," the clerk offered.

"OK, thanks."

Holly jumped up on the trunk of the cab and sat there drinking her Slurpee, watching Kris fill the cab's tank with gasoline.

"Almost empty, hunh?"

"Almost."

As Kris finished pumping the gas and put the hose back on the pump, the two Hawaiian men approached him.

"Eh, braddah, any likkah on you?" It was the thief.

"No, sorry. Can't drink when I'm working."

"You da taxi-man?" the other one asked.

"Yep."

"So, make choke money, den?" the other one went on.

"Not tonight."

"Eh, lend me five, brah," demanded the thief.

"No can do."

"Can," threatened the other one.

"Sorry."

"What you sorry for, you fahkkin' haole?" the thief asked belligerently.

"Yeah, we make you good an' sorry, fahkkin haole!" the other one joined in, advancing with a stick in his hand.

The big Hawaiian girl popped her head out of the store. "Eh, you like me call Uncle Kimo?"

"Oh, yeah, call da fahkkin' sheriff! Wake 'em up!" shouted the thief.

"Already up. Was just in heah."

"Yeah, well..." murmured the other one.

The two men backed off and ambled away. The girl went back in the store. Holly waved to her and she waved back. They got back in the cab and pulled onto the highway. A stick hit the back of the car.

"Plenny excitement tonight, eh, Kris?"

He grunted his assent, keeping an eye on the dark two-lane highway, watching for pedestrians suddenly running across the road, a common occurrence "up da country."

"Whatsamatter, you gettin' bored of me?"

"No. Just a little sleepy."

"You want me to drive?"

"Uh, no, that's OK..."

"Don't trust me?"

"Nope."

"HAH! You fahkkah!"

They passed Bellows Air Force Base and came to the beach park. The skies were clearing and the stars were coming out. Off in the distance, a light was shining in the sky. It grew slowly larger and brighter, then began to revolve and turn from blue-white to reddish-white as it suddenly shot across the sky diagonally, upwards and to the East. Just as suddenly, it shot right back again, and seemed to hover over Plague Island, the "secret" lab.

"HOLY SH*T!!! Did you see that???"

"I think so."

Pull over!"

Kris pulled into the beach parking lot. He and Holly got out of the cab and stared at the lights in the sky, just off-shore. The light was now surrounded by smaller lights, revolving around it as it wobbled slowly in mid-air, otherwise stationary.

"Oh, man! You think it's aliens?"

"I dunno. Maybe."

Oh, sh*t, I hope they're friendly!"

"Eh, you bettah hope we friendly, haole girl!" The two Hawaiian men from the 7-11 had suddenly appeared, right behind Kris and Holly. The one with the stick now had a rock, which he aimed at Kris's head.

Just then, the lights in the sky began to move towards them. Holly yelled. A brilliant beam of concentrated greenish-white light shot from the UFO, picking them out one by one. It stopped on the man with the rock. He screamed as the light turned blood-red. The other man turned and ran, and another green light followed him. "JUNIAH-BOY!" he yelped. The light on him turned yellow and he was frozen in his tracks. Two more golden lights fell on Kris and Holly, freezing them, too. Then there was a low buzzing sound, that got louder and louder. Holly yelled again, but she couldn't move. None of them could.

And then the red light was gone. So was the man who had been in it, along with his rock.


[ PART EIGHTEEN TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XVI. COPS & ROBBERS

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HOLLY THE HO TAKES ON HPD

KRIS THE CABBIE PLAYS TRIGGERMAN

Gunfight At The Ohana Corral?

(Part Sixteen; Part One is HERE.)


Holly ripped open one of her big cardboard storage boxes in the back seat of Kris's cab. She dug around and pulled out an old but well-oiled stainless steel snub-nose Smith & Wesson .38-caliber Chief's Special six-shot revolver, still in its' case. She took it out of the case and checked the safety, and then checked that it was, in fact, loaded. She handed it to Kris grip-first and he took it. He examined as Holly had, sniffing at it. No scent of gunpowder, just gun oil. He handed it back to her.

"Where'd you get that?"

"It was my grandfather's, the Chief's."

"He was HPD, too?"

"No, on the Big Island."

"So, why'd he give you a gun?"

"For protection."

"You ever use it?"

"Once. I practiced, too. He took me to the pistol range, couple times. I know how to handle a gun. Better watch out." She smiled her beautiful smile.

"Who'd you shoot?"

"My father."

"You missed?"

"No. I never miss. He survived."

"So, why don't you just shoot him again, yourself?"

"If he sees me, he'll shoot first. I'd never get close enough."

"Wow. Thanksgiving must have been interesting at your house."

"We never had a real Thanksgiving. Just extra beatings for me and my Mom and my brother. Then extra rapings."

"So, your father actually raped you?"

"He's my step-father, really, but, yeah. Ever since I was real little."

"Can you prove that?"

"How? Who's gonna listen? He's a cop. He can do anything he wants, never gets arrested! He got drunk and killed a guy with his car, and they charged the dead guy, not my father!"

"Doesn't sound like the kinda guy you want to mess with. So, you never reported him?"

"I tried, many times. Nothing happened. He got me locked up in a mental institution on the Mainland for a while, private kine. They never examined me for rape. Everybody just thinks I'm crazy. But I'm not. He raped me. A lot."

"So, what do you want to do now?"

"I want to go back to his house and wait for him. Then I want you to shoot him for me."

"And why would I want to do that?"

"Because you love me."

"Who says I love you?"

"You don't love me?"

"Maybe. But that doesn't mean I'm going to kill somebody I don't even know."

"Go back there, then. I'll kill him. I'll never be able to sleep or eat or live like a human being unless I stop him. He's after me all the time. I see him in my nightmares. He's never going to leave me alone. That girl back there was my best friend in high school. Now he's banging her, and she hates me. He's the Devil. You don't see that? You want to help me get straight? Then just take me back there. If you're too scared, I'll do it. And if he kills me instead, you can be the witness. Can you do even that little thing for me?"

"Just calm down."

"I'm not calming down! I gotta do something! You made me, you made me see that! Take me back or I'll walk back!"

"OK, I'll drive by and we'll see if he's there. Then we'll decide what to do. OK?"

"OK, OK!"

Kris turned the Cadillac around and headed back towards Holly's father's house. There were no new cars there when he cruised by. The carport light was still on, but no one was outside. Kris passed the house and turned into the dark Aikane Shopping center across the way. He parked next to another car in the deserted parking lot, pulling back from it so that it partially obscured the view of them from Holly's father's house, but still allowed them to see very well and keep watch on the house across the wide intersection. Kris turned off his engine, shutting off the lights and keeping the windows rolled up except for cracking the rear driver's side window slightly.

"So? What we gonna do now?"

"Wait."

They sat there for almost twenty minutes before a big SUV with a blue police light on top pulled into Holly's father's carport.

"Is that him?"

"I don't know. That's a new car, if it is. He gets a new one every year, though. It looks like his old one, but different."

"Here, give me the gun."

"You gonna shoot him for me?" She handed him the gun.

"We don't even know if it's him."

A man in uniform got out of the SUV. Holly started out of the cab, whispering, "Come on, it's him!"

"Get back in the car! If he sees you, he'll just start shooting, right?"

"Yeah. I guess so. Sh*t!" She got back in the cab.

"Just wait a minute. Be quiet. Stay still. Don't draw his attention over here."

The man in uniform walked out into the street and looked both ways. He took out his police radio and spoke into it. Maile, his new girlfriend, came out of the house in her flimsy nightgown. She embraced the cop, but he pushed her away. She shouted something at him, and he hauled off and belted her good, knocking her to the ground. She cried out and ran back into the house. Kris got out of the cab, holding the gun to his side.

"See, I told you! He hit me like that all the f**king time! Look, look at this scar I got on my scalp from him hitting me! Look at these burn marks in my armpit! You think I could do that to myself? Now you believe me?"

At the moment, all Kris could think of was his own childhood. Yes, there had to be payment. Always. Payment in full. Forever. Just then, three regular patrol cars, blue & whites pulled up in front of Holly's father's house. Showdown.


[ PART SEVENTEEN TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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XV. DADDY'S HOME

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A VISIT TO A CHILD MOLESTER

HOLLY'S COP DAD'S HOUSE OF HORRORS

A Childhood That Ended Before It Began

(Part Fifteen; Part One is HERE.)


Holly finished admiring Kris's handiwork on her many little wounds, and settled down to her candy bar and her magazine. Kris swung the Caddy out onto Kam Highway, and then cut into a side street, hoping to avoid the intersections with Like-Like and Pali Highways, both of which led back to downtown Honolulu. That would have meant driving by Chinatown, and he'd only just gotten Holly to agree to stay out of the crack-infested district. They were well along on Kaneohe Bay Drive before she noticed where they were, or weren't.

"Where are we?"

"K-Bay Drive."

"Where we going?"

"Scenic route."

"Through Kailua?"

"Yup."

"Oh."

Holly got quiet then, unusual for her. She stared out the window at Kaneohe Bay, still dark and rainy. They passed the Marine Corps Base, Hawaii and stopped at the light by the Aikane Shopping Center. It was late and the place was dark, except for the gas station.

"That's my father's house."

"Where?"

"Right there. On the corner. By the beach. The near left."

"You want to go home?"

"It's not my home."

"Don't you want to see your Mom?"

"She doesn't live there any more."

"Where does she live?"

"Right downtown. Chinatown. On top of Kalaupapa Towers. She can see me if she looks down, out the window. She doesn't look out the window."

"They're divorced?"

"I guess. They were going to. I don't know. I haven't seen either one of them for two years."

"Is that when you ran away from home?"

"I didn't run away from home. They kicked me out. I went to live with my boyfriend, and then his parents kicked us both out. I ended up in Chinatown. The end."

"So, you don't want to stop here."

"I do. But not if my Dad is home. I'd like to get my stuff out of the carport."

"How can you tell if he's home?"

"His cop car will be there. He always parks it on the side of the house, in the carport, and leaves the blue light on."

"Can you see it?"

"No. He's not there."

"What do you want to do?"

"Can we just go get my stuff out of the carport?"

"You're sure there's nobody there?"

"The lights are out. His car is not there. Let's go see."

"I'll just park in front of the neighbors' house."

"Yeah. She's old and senile. She'll be in bed by now."

They got out of the car and walked over to Holly's father's house. As they entered the carport, two big pit bulls came charging at them, ready to kill, barking their heads off.

"NO!!! Down, Holly, down Harry, you bad dogs!"

The vicious animals came to a screeching halt, whimpering and wagging their tails. They jumped up on Holly, licking her.

"Jesus. 'Holly and Harry'?"

"Yeah. My *ssh*le father named his dogs after me and my brother. Cute, hunh? He used to smear their sh*t on our faces, when we were bad."

A light came on and they froze. The door from the house to the carport swung open. A beautiful young girl stood there in a see-through nightgown.

"Holly?"

"Holy sh*t, Maile, what the f**k are you doing here?"

"I live here"

"You LIVE here?"

"Yeah. With your Dad."

"Ew."

"Hey, he treats me nice."

"What about school?"

"I dropped out. Your Dad gives me money."

"I bet he does. You whore!"

"You should talk. Everyone knows what you're doing now. Ho. Chinatown. Crack."

"F**k you, b*tch!"

"I'm calling your Dad."

"Go 'head, you *ssh*le!"

"I will right now. You better get out of here. And don't come back."

"Eat sh*t and die, you fahkkah!" Holly picked up a wrench from a workbench and threw it at the other girl. Maile ducked, and the wrench went crashing through the kitchen door window. Maile yelped and ran back inside, slamming and locking the door behind her.

"I'm calling him now!" she cried from inside.

"Come on, we better go. Grab one of those boxes. The two on top are mine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure! This is my house, my shit! Sitting right there all this time. Grab 'em!"

"OK. OK."

They each grabbed a box and took off for Kris's car. They dumped the boxes on the back seat, got in and took off.

"You think she called the cops?"

"No. She probably called my Dad's cell phone. He'll be in town. It'll take him a while to get back over here. If he comes at all."

"I'm not going towards town. I'll take the back streets to Kalanianaole Highway, and head for Waimanalo."

"Good thing you cab drivah. You know da way, yeah?"

"Hey, you got your pidgin back."

"It comes and goes, when I need it. I never needed it much, in Kailua. In Chinatown, I need 'em alla time, yeah?"

"I see. You think Maile saw my car?"

"No. I hope not. I don't think so. She never came outside. Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen."

"I don't need any trouble with the cops."

"Why? You scared of cops?"

"No. I just don't like 'em. Better to stay away from them."

"Hey, Kris?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you kill my father for me? For raping me, and abusing me?"

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. Any more cops you want me to kill?"

"I'm serious. I want that fahkkah dead."

Kris looked over at Holly. She looked very, very serious.

"You want to go back there now?"

"I got a gun in one of my boxes, all sealed up. Loaded and ready to go."

"A real gun?"

"A real gun."


[ PART SIXTEEN TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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