XVIII. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE HAWAIIAN KINE
E.T., PHONE WAIMANALO
HOLLY & KRIS'S 2009 SPACE ODDITY
In Which Aliens Establish A Beachhead On Oahu
(Part Eighteen; Part One is HERE.)
The brilliant ruby-red light that had held Kris's assailant suddenly vanished, taking the man and his rock with it.
The golden lights that engulfed Kris, Holly and the other attacker held them fast. Then Holly & Kris's lights flickered out, leaving only the Hawaiian thug caught like a fly in amber. He stared at them, terrified, as they walked around him. When they touched the shaft of light, nothing happened. But they could not touch its' prisoner. He was paralyzed, but beyond harm.
"Woooow!" Holly exclaimed.
"Double wow." Kris agreed.
"What should we do?"
"If they let us go, maybe we should get the Hell out of here, hunh?"
"But this is E.T., man! We're their First Contact! I wanna boldly go where no ho has gone befo'!"
"Hey, you laughed! I never heard you laugh before. That's good! Come on, lets talk to the aliens!"
"How? Have you heard them say anything?"
"No, but they gotta be able to hear us, and see us, right? Why else they saved us?"
"That doesn't mean we can understand each other."
"Eh, they understood who the bad guy was here! I think they must be pretty smart to come all the way here to this planet from Outer Space, anyway, yeah?"
"Yeah, but maybe they just want to eat us."
"No way! What they were eating before?"
"Somebody else? Maybe they ate them all up."
"Nah! They gotta be nice people, or else they no save us, just now."
Just then, the thug with the rock came back, in a sudden flash of blue light. His rock was gone. He was all cleaned up. He was wearing a pink jump-suit with frilly shorts, and golden slippers that seemed to glow in the dark, allowing him to hover an inch off the ground. He smiled beatifically at Holly and Kris as the blue light winked out, leaving him kneeling right in front of them.
"Please, my dear friends, forgive me for my erstwhile hostile behavior. I simply did not know any better. But now I do," he said, his eyes shining strangely.
"Eh, jus' stay away from us, you crazy fahkkah! You try kill my friend wit' one rock!"
"Yes, I know. And I am deeply sorry for that. I assure you, my intentions are entirely peaceable. Come, let us rejoice in our immanent deliverance from thousands of years of barbarism! Our saviors are here!" The thug stood up and pointed to the UFO, which was hovering above them. "Here, they have sent gifts for you."
"How 'bout those golden shoes? I like those! I get narrow feets, tho."
"Haven't got any of those, but, here," he reached into a small white purse hanging on his belt, and pulled out two I-Phones, giving one to Kris and one to Holly.
"Wait," said Kris," is there a contract with this?"
"Eh, it's all charged up! They are advanced!" Holly said.
The reformed rock-thrower went over to his brother thug, still frozen by the light. "Brother! Are you ready to accept the Message?" His brother could not move or speak, except to blink his eyes. "Blink once if you accept!"
He blinked once, and the light went out, allowing him to move. He knocked his brother to the ground and tore his purse off his belt. "Eh, you crazy! You not my braddah!" With that, a red light enveloped him, he screamed and was gone.
"There, you see, my friends? Our saviors will tolerate no violence. They harmed not a hair on my head, only made me one with them, in spirit. And now my brother will be one with us, also," the saved one said.
"So, what they did to you? You was only gone, like, few minutes?"
"Really? Ah, it seemed like a wonderful eternity. I don't remember everything, but it all felt good. And it worked! Look at me!"
"Hunh. So, does your okole hurt at all?"
"No, not really. Well, maybe a little, now that you mention it. Why?"
Just then, the special blue light reappeared, this time delivering the other thug. He, too was all cleaned up, and attired just as his brother was now.
"Brother! O, Brother! I am saved!"
"You know, I was just saying to Auntie Honey-Girl how much I felt myself on the verge of something new, some great change!"
"And I myself have been feeling somewhat adrift, of late; as if I had missed my ship in life. Isn't this simply miraculous?"
"Come, let us bring the Word to all of Waimanalo!"
"And why not the whole Windward Side?"
"Capital idea. Shall we get to it, then?"
The two former thugs went off, arm-in-arm, chattering like chipmunks. Kris and Holly just stood and stared, open-mouthed. The UFO hovering over their heads cast a beam of green light over them. They felt themselves become cool, calm and collected. There was a strange noise in the air, a kind of low humming, and then the world seemed to fade. Holly took Kris's hand, and waited for what would happen next.
[ PART NINETEEN TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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