JOE MAMMA

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BIDEN WHO?

OBAMA PICKS NEBBISH FOR VP

Well, That's The Job Description, Isn't It?

Still, after the Dick & Dubya ventriloquist act of the last eight years, and the "partnership" of Slick Willie & Wooden Al, you might have expected a more commanding choice. Joe Biden is best known for blowing his own Presidential ambitions by stealing a speech from British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock during the first Bush I campaign back in the Stone Age, before iPods and texting.

Since then, evidently Joe's been hangin' out on the US Senate Foreign Relations Committee, a relic of the days when the Millionaires' Club still exercised its' prerogative of advising before consenting to all the President's Imperial adventures. Yeah, the Prez used to do that, like, before the Internet and CD's. The last few decades, the Commander-In-Chief does whatever the Hell he wants, and Congress just rubber-stamps it. F*ck the checks & balances, dude. That's, like, for pussy-Presidents.

So I guess Obama wants an experienced yes-man, preferably an old white guy, to balance out the ticket against the Republicans' two really old white yes-men (wait for it). Or maybe Big O just desperately needs Delaware, and its' three, count 'em, 3 electoral votes. Biden'll get all the border States!!! Except WVA, KY, TN & AR. And no Northern or Southern ones, that Obama doesn't already have. They say Uncle Joe is a mackerel-snapper, so maybe the Pope will have to order his megaflock to vote for Barack. Yeah. That'll happen. And they'll all listen, just like when the sour old kraut says no abortions, no divorces, and no pre-marital sex. Unh-hunh.

Me, if I was the African-American with the most little red laser dots on my ass in the whole freakin' world, I'd go with the Bush stratagem: Pick a next-in-line guy who's actually going to be the one in charge from jump: A guy who's everybody's worst nightmare, even worse than you, and only a heartbeat away: like Dick Cheney! Now that's what I call life insurance! But picking a white guy could be career suicide, literally. All the rednecks have to do is pop Barack, and we're back to the melanine status quo. I'd pick Reverend Wright, if I were Obama. Just cut out his tongue, first.

[Cross-posted at CoffeeHouseStudio.]
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BIDEN MY TIME

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LAWYER FROM DELAWARE, A WORKING CLASS HERO?

NOT SURE HOW THIS WORKS, EXACTLY, NOBLESSE OBLIGE...

Everything Is Relative, As They Say In The Appalachians. Will That Help Obama There?

It must be tough trying to find a real working class hero in the upper echelons of American politics. Most of our elected representatives are successful lawyers and other professionals, well-known figures from media, government and business. Not a lot of Union men or women. No shift-workers. No high-school dropouts. No waitresses working three jobs. None of us commoners.

Apparently, Obama scoured the nation for a Vice Presidential candidate, and could only find one old white guy with foreign policy on his resume who wasn't a millionaire, and had no arrests or convictions on his record. "White, not a millionaire" means "blue collar" in DC these days, I guess. Never mind that Biden, like most folks in the power elite, has never held a job or owned a small business, except for his four years as a lawyer right out of college. Not exactly back-breaking work, lawyering. Or Senatoring, his sole day gig since 1972.

Still, at least he doesn't live off a rich wife, like Senator McCain. He's POSITIVE he has only has one home, from which he commutes to work by train every day, not on the wife's private jet like millionare McCain. When his wife and infant daughter died in a terrible car crash, Biden dedicated himself to his two surviving sons, coming home to them every night. When McCain's wife was horribly injured and disfigured in a car crash, he dumped her for a rich bimbo, Cindy McCain, and abandoned his children. At least Biden's Dad worked for a living, unlike McCain's. At least his grand-dad had to fight ignorance and prejudice to establish himself and his family in this country, and made it the hard way, unlike McCain's privileged Gramps. At least "Regular Joe" Biden has consistently voted for the interests of regular joes and josephines over the last thirty-six years, my friends, unlike McCain, my friends, the working man's worst enemy, my friends.

There are other comparisons between Biden and McCain, two old white Senators. While McCain might be said to have risen from the ashes of his own war crimes to come home and feather his own nest in Phoenix, Biden rose Phoenix-like from the ashes of an undeserved personal tragedy to dedicate himself to his family, his people, and his country. Whether the propaganda machines will be able to convey or contort this reality remains to be seen.

I'd rather have seen a VP who could deliver at least one major State, or voting block. A Hoosier, A Buckeye, a Tarheel, a Missouriite, a Virginiaham, a Pennsylvaniac. A Latino, a woman, a Union man, a combat veteran. Or maybe somebody with actual, rather than theoretical experience in foreign policy and defense, administration and executive decision-making. A Governor, a General, a Secretary of State, a corporate kingpin. Or, Gawd fahbid, an actual working class hero. Unfortunately, they're mostly too busy working, for their families. That's what makes them heroes.

I suppose Joe Biden will have to do. We'll see how it works out. One way or the other, the rest of us will still be here, working. Let's see if you can work for us, Joe. If you can answer my own months'-old call for an attack dog, a pit bull to savage the Repukelickin's while Obama remains above the fray looking Presidential, you'll have earned my vote. If you can just stay on message, be succinct and to the point, keep your feet out of your mouth, and not plagiarize or offend anybody important, that'll be just fine and dandy. No heroism required.

Regular Joe. Phoenix Joe. Tailgunner Joe. Whoever you are, we're all counting on you. If you really are one of us then fight like we would, given the chance that history has given you today. Fight for our families like you fought for yours, Joe. If you and Barack can do that, we'll be there for you in November. We'll be there in January of next year, and every minute of every day that we all go on working together to take our country back from the foul, immoral, elitist forces that have stolen it from us, and polluted our lives with their lies. We're ready to go to work, Joe. Are you?

There's the whistle. Time to punch in. Don't forget your lunchbox. (We don't eat out of pails or buckets any more, Media.)Hard work makes you hungry, Joe. Don't worry. You'll get used to it. We'll all be there beside you. That's how we work, you know? Hey, you wanna trade your quiche for my baloney sandwich? Just kiddin', Joe. Yer awright.

[Cross-posted at DemocracyForCalifornia.]
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Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.

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