FUNNY, SCARY, WEIRD NEWS TODAY

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SHARKS, VOLCANOS & COOKIES ARE COMING TO GET YOU

"Sarychev Peak on Matua Island"

YOU CAN'T RUN AND YOU CAN'T HIDE

We Gots Dem Ol' Pyroclastic Flow Blues

Ah, nobody lives forever. If the Tylenol don't getchya, the swinebird flu will. So go enjoy a quick hookup, before the little pink elephants come back. Hic.


LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Amazing Volcano Photo Reveals Shock Wave"
Mother Nature having a smoke.

' The main plume appears to be a combination of brown ash and white steam, according to a NASA statement. The vigorously rising plume gives the steam a bubble-like appearance. The surrounding atmosphere has been shoved up by the shock wave of the eruption, scientists said. Volcano plumes are so chaotic that they produce lightning, as revealed in pictures for the first time earlier this year. The smooth white cloud on top may be water condensation that resulted from rapid rising and cooling of the air mass above the ash column. This cloud is probably a transient feature, scientists say, with the eruption plume is starting to punch through. The cloud casts a dark shadow to the northwest of the island. '

NPR
"Sex Without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships"
News Flash: It's always been like this. Young people screw around, until they are too fat, old & ugly to get laid. Then they start with the weird fantasies about how much sex other, younger people are having. Except it's never quite that easy or that plentiful. It's called human nature. Report that.

' Young people during one of the most sexually active periods of their lives aren't necessarily looking for a mate. What used to be a mate-seeking ritual has shifted to hookups: sexual encounters with no strings attached. "The idea used to be you are going to date someone that is going to lead to something sexual happening," Bogle says. "In the hookup era, something sexual happens, even though it may be less than sexual intercourse, that may or may not ever lead to dating." '

LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Pets Pass Superbug to Humans"
It's not just fleas any more.

' "As community-acquired strains of MRSA increase in prevalence, a growing body of clinical evidence has documented MRSA colonization in domestic animals, often implying direct acquisition of S aureus infection from their human owners," they write. "MRSA colonization has been documented in companion animals such as horses, dogs, and cats, and these animals have been viewed as potential reservoirs of infection." '

YAHOO NEWS
"Great white sharks hunt just like Hannibal Lecter"
Fortunately, Clarisse Starling is on to them

' Great white sharks have some things in common with human serial killers, a new study says: They don't attack at random, but stalk specific victims, lurking out of sight. The sharks had a distinct M.O. They were focused. They stalked from a usual base of operations, 100 yards from their victims. It was close enough to see their prey, but not close enough to be seen and scare off their victims. They attacked when the lights were low. They liked their victims young and alone. They tried to attack when no other sharks were around to compete. They learned from previous kills. And they attacked from below, unseen. '

LIVE SCIENCE.com
"Oldest Elephant Relative Found"
In case you were wondering what ever happened to Roseanne Barr... And this is why braces are important, kids:

' The animal's relation to elephants was determined via analysis of the specimen's teeth and skull. While it lacked a trunk, the animal had an enlarged first incisor, which researcher Emmanuel Gheerbrant of the National Museum of Natural History in Paris, France, says represents a primitive tusk. It was much smaller than the tusks of today's elephants. '

THE WASHINGTON POST
"Among Many Peoples, Little Genomic Variety"
And in Ireland, we have the Guinness gene.

' Among West Africans, a chance mutation in the blood protein hemoglobin turned out to partially protect against malaria. It rapidly became common in places where malaria was a huge threat to survival. Similarly, a mutation allowing adults to digest milk became valuable when Middle Easterners and Europeans domesticated cattle. About 90 percent of Scandinavians now carry it. '

REUTERS
"Nestle recalls Toll House cookie dough after E. coli warning"
Mmmmm! Chocolate sh*t cookies! Try the chocolate sh*t mint cookies. Better for your breath.

' Nestle's U.S. baking division said on Friday that it was voluntarily recalling its Toll House refrigerated cookie dough products after the U.S. Food and Drug Administration warned of the risk of contamination with E. coli bacteria. Nestle said the FDA and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention were investigating reports of illnesses caused by E. coli O157:H7 in consumers who also reported having eaten raw cookie dough. E. coli can cause abdominal cramping, vomiting and diarrhea, the FDA said. '

REUTERS
"Will two flus mix in Indonesia? Experts worry"
Or in "developed" countries without universal single-payer national healthcare.

' Ben Cowling, public health expert at the University of Hong Kong, said people with serious infections who would be admitted to hospitals in developed countries and survive might die in poorer countries. '

REUTERS
"Drug cos at odds with FDA over acetaminophen risk"
Oh, thank Gawd! I thought the number one cause of acute liver failure was Bud Lite.

' Estimates vary, but a 2007 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report found acetaminophen use was the most common cause of the estimated 1,600 cases of acute liver failure that year, the FDA said. Alcohol use and liver disease can also increase a consumer's risk, experts say. '

YAHOO NEWS
"States could lose money over prison rapes"
Oh, NO! The State might lose money! Look for the infomercial & the DVD: "Guards Gone Wild!"

' Inmates who are short, young, gay, or female were more likely to be victimized than other inmates. Even when inmates are willing to report abuse, their accounts are not always taken seriously and reported to appropriate officials. In a 2007 study, the Bureau of Justice Statistics found that more than 60,000 inmates are sexually abused every year. The study found that 4.5 percent of those surveyed reported being sexually abused in the previous 12 months. That study also said more prisoners reported abuse by staff than by other prisoners: 2.9 percent to about 2 percent, respectively. The commission's report recommended that prison authorities adopt more internal monitoring, such as video cameras, as well as external oversight by review boards. '

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