NEWS OF BRUNO & SENILE MICE

.
SHAMEFUL, CREEPY, SILLY NEWS UPDATE

RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE WHOSE BLOOD PRESSURE IS TOO LOW

The Rest Of You Click On Out Of Here Before Your Head Explodes!

We'd like to believe that we live in a sane world, guided by reason, enlightened, sorta. And then we pick up the newspaper. Every day, a new series of indictments of the whole human race. Well, not you and me, buddy! We're OK. Right? Right? Hey, put down that ax!


INVESTORS SPOT.COM
"Caffeine Reverses Alzheimer's Disease In Mice"
One tiny mocha-soy-cheese latte!

' In the first of today's reports, mice who had been bred to develop Alzheimer's-like memory problems were given caffeine in their drinking water at 18 - 19 months old (about the age of 70 in human years), for a duration of two months. Another group of Alzheimer's mice received plain drinking water. At the end of two months, mice who had received the caffeine performed 50 percent better than the plain water drinkers - in fact, they performed as well as mice their age without dementia. In addition to the improved memory and thinking skills, the caffeinated mice had nearly a 50 percent reduction in beta amyloid, the plaques that form in the brain causing Alzheimer's disease. Investigators theorized that the caffeine suppresses bacterial formations that lead to the formation of beta amyloid plaques. The second experiment was conducted as a follow-up, this time using normal mice, those that had not been engineered to get Alzheimer's disease. The mice were administered caffeine from young adulthood through old age. In this case the mice given caffeine had the same results as the mice who were not given caffeine, suggesting that caffeine cannot improve your memory or thinking skills beyond your normal abilities. '

AFP
"Zoo evacuated after chimps escape"
Apparently, they've been reading Darwin.

' A zoo was evacuated on Sunday after about 30 chimpanzees escaped from their enclosure. The animals escaped from 'Chimp Island' and found their way into a keeper area where their food is prepared, the zoo said. More than 5,000 visitors were asked to leave Chester Zoo, near Liverpool, shortly after the break-out as keepers rounded up the chimps. '

REUTERS
"Spain police foil radio control zeppelin jailbreak"
Was it a led zeppelin?

' Spanish police said on Friday they had foiled an Italian drug trafficker's plan to break out of jail in the Canary Islands using climbing equipment and a four-metre-long zeppelin. "The plan consisted of using a remotely controlled zeppelin to bring him night-vision goggles and climbing equipment with which to escape," a National Police statement said. '

E!
"No Laughing Matter: Brüno Re-sued for Emotional Damages"
Now that's REALLY tacky!

' Olson dropped her charges of assault and battery against against Cohen and NBC Universal, and is now setting her sights on the "emotional distress" the Brüno star and his film crew allegedly caused when they sent Brüno to her charity bingo tournament, according to THR, Esq. "The amendment to the original complaint does not change the cause of the injuries plead in the original complaint," Olson's attorney, Kyle Madison, told the trade. "Mrs. Olson's brain injuries were never alleged to have been derived from an assault or battery. She suffered two brain bleeds after the confrontation ensued with Mr. Baron Cohen. According to California case law, any injuries deriving from intentional infliction of emotional distress are recoverable. Mr. Baron Cohen and those associated with the production of Brüno are accountable for inflicting serious emotional distress and the resulting injuries to Mrs. Olson." '

REUTERS
"Berlin 'sex academy' offers tips for visitors"
I think I know this dummy!

' The show features several life-sized plastic models, naked and in various positions. One female mannequin light ups when touched in the right spot. A voice shrieks "That's it!" when the visitor manages to put his finger on the elusive G-spot. '

BBC NEWS
"Australia probes navy 'sex game' "
What's Australian for "Love Boat"?

' According to Channel Seven news, sailors on board HMAS Success put a cash value on each woman's head. Sleeping with a female officer or a lesbian, or having sex in a strange place, won more money, the report said. '

AFP
"Son tries to sell sexy photos of mum on Internet after row"
The family that... Oh, sh*t, I don't know.

' "He was quite naughty... I thought 'you cheeky little git'," she said. But she was also annoyed that Trade Me withdrew the second set of pictures, of which she approved. "I insisted Michael show me first, the little bugger. They are quite artistic. There is nothing dodgy about them." "I wanted 50 per cent of the sale, but more than that I miss the nice comments." '

ASBURY PARK PRESS, NJ
"Military academy head faces child porn charges"
Why is it always the religious nuts? Oh, right; they're nuts.

' Cedar Bridge Military Academy Superintendent Steven T. Baryla, 27, was taken into custody Monday after the execution of a search warrant yielded, "physical and electronic evidence,'' linking him to the possession and distribution of child pornography, according to a statement issued by Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford. Cedar Bridge is a privately-run, Christian faith-based camp for youths between the ages of 11 and 17 that advertises extracurricular military training and experiences. Based in Toms River, the camp itself is located outside of Harrisburg, Pa., and hosts two- to five-week training programs during the summer, according to the company's Web site. '

HOMELESS CHILDREN AMERICA.ORG
"It is unacceptable for one child in the United States to be homeless for even one day."
At long last, America, have you no shame?

' The year 2008 will long be remembered by Americans as a time when grossly overpaid bankers, captains of industry, and carmakers hobbled to Washington, hats in hand, begging for bailouts and infusions of billions of dollars. Ignored by members of Congress and the media were scores of children – many still infants and toddlers – who were homeless in the midst of this economic turmoil. Without a voice, more than 1.5 million of our nation’s children go to sleep without a home each year. Homeless, these children also endure a lack of safety, comfort, privacy, reassuring routines, adequate health care, uninterrupted schooling, sustaining relationships, and a sense of community. These factors combine to create a life-altering experience that inflicts profound and lasting scars. '

YAHOO NEWS
"New GI benefits vary widely by state"
Penalizing Iraq War Veterans and States that subsidize higher education: Your tax dollars at work.

' Veterans who choose a private school in Texas could get close to $20,000 a semester from the government for a typical course load. Those picking schools in California will get nothing for tuition. The explanation stems from the formula the government created, as well as a much-criticized decision by the Department of Veterans Affairs on how to implement the law. The new GI Bill covers full in-state undergraduate tuition and fees at any public college. That's far more generous than the old GI Bill, which provides a monthly stipend that is the same from state to state. But Congress also wanted to help veterans attend often pricier private schools. So the new bill offers them an amount equal to the tuition at the most expensive public college in the same state. That penalizes veterans going to private colleges in states that have kept their public university tuition low. As a result, the new GI Bill is a great deal for such vets in states like New Hampshire, New York and Texas; a pretty good one in states like Ohio; and hardly any deal at all in Massachusetts and especially California, where the state constitution prohibits public universities from charging tuition. Instead, California's public universities typically charge "fees" of several thousand dollars per year. Critics argue the Department of Veterans Affairs misinterpreted the law and should have combined tuition and fees in coming up with reimbursement levels. That would have put the total California benefit at around $13,000 per year. '

.
.

TO POST A COMMENT: CLICK ON "COMMENTS," "Post a Comment" or "# of COMMENTS" just below the SOCIAL BOOKMARKING LINKS (Digg, Delicious, etc), about three inches down from here. Please do comment. Thank you.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR BLOGGERS:

Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!

NEWS TO AMUSE

.
WEIRD SCENES FROM OUTSIDE THE GOLD MINE



BULLS & BEARS, VEGGIES & DINOSAURS, COPS & ROBBERS, ROBOTS & ARRANGED MARRIAGES

A Wide Assortment Of Absurd Current Events This Week. Enjoy.

The worst thing about human society is the people. Without the people, humanity would be great. What a society we could all have if only there were none of us. Fortunately, science and industry, diplomats and the military are working on that. Thanks to their efforts, someday, Gawd willing, it will be nice and quiet on this planet. We only hope we live to hear it. See you then!


GOOGLE NEWS
"1 dead at Pamplona; first goring death since '95"
Cappuccino kills!

' A charging bull gored a young man to death Friday at Pamplona's San Fermin festival, the first such fatality in nearly 15 years. Nine others were injured in a particularly dangerous and chaotic chapter of the running of the bulls. The last fatal goring at the running of the bulls claimed the life of 22-year-old American Matthew Tassio in 1995. In 2003, a 63-year-old Spanish man, Fermin Etxeberri, was trampled in the head by a bull and died after spending months in a coma. Friday's death raises to 15 the toll since record-keeping began in 1924. A brown, 1,130-pound (515-kilogram) bull named Cappuccino fell early in the run and ended up on its own. Cappuccino is the bull behind Friday's fatality, although this happened in a slightly earlier stretch of the route, said one of the herders, Humberto Miguel. '

REUTERS
"Oldest U.S. mounted police unit gets budget axe"
Buried the lede! "Police officers sent to glue factory."

' But after 150 years, police officials said they need to eliminate the mounted unit, a move city officials estimate will save some $700,000 (422,500 pounds) for a city budget that has been strained by a 19-month long U.S. recession that has hammered tax revenue. '

REUTERS
"Australia discovers 3 new large dinosaurs"
Throw another Carpopenaeus on the barbie, mate!

' Fossils of three new species of dinosaurs have been discovered in Australia, including a meat-eater larger than Velociraptor from the Jurassic Park movies, suggesting Australia may have a more complex prehistoric past. The two plant-eating and one carnivore dinosaurs, the first large dinosaurs unearthed since 1981, were found in Queensland and date back 98 million years to the mid-Cretaceous period. "It not only presents us with two new amazing long-necked giants of the ancient Australian continent, but also announces our first really big predator," paleontologist John Long, head of sciences at Museum Victoria said on Friday. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Plant disease hits eastern US veggies early, hard"
No wonder the killer tomatoes attacked us! They think we're responsible for this!

' Meg McGrath, professor of plant pathology at Cornell University, calls late blight "worse than the Bubonic Plague for plants." "People need to realize this is probably one of the worst diseases we have in the vegetable world," she said. "It's certain death for a tomato plant." '

INFORMATION WEEK
"Toyota Develops Mind-Controlled Wheelchair "
They couldn't have started with maybe a snack-cart prototype? Can't wait to see the love dolls.

' The system enables a person to make a wheelchair turn left or right to move forward simply by thinking the commands. The response time is in 125 milliseconds. One millisecond is equal to 1/1000 of a second. The BTCC's system uses several sensors placed over the areas of the brain that control motion to measure electrical activity in the region. The electical impulses triggered by the rider thinking of turning or moving the wheelchair are picked up and analyzed by an onboard laptop that passes the commands on to the wheelchair. The system has an emergency stop that can be activated by the user puffing his cheeks. In the future, the BMI technology is expected to be applied to other types of brain waves that generate various mental states and emotions, the BTCC said. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Sears Tower unveils 103rd floor glass balconies"
I'd be afraid that if I coughed one or both of my nuts would pop out of my mouth on that balcony.

' The balconies are suspended 1,353 feet in the air and jut out four feet from the building's 103rd floor Skydeck. Their transparent walls, floor and ceiling leave visitors with the impression they're floating over the city. "It's like walking on ice," said Margaret Kemp, of Bishop, Calif., who said her heart was still pounding even after stepping away from the balcony. "That first step you take — 'am I going down?'" Kemp was among the visitors who got a sneak preview of the balconies Wednesday. "The Ledge," as the balconies have been nicknamed, open to the public Thursday. Visitors are treated to unobstructed views of Chicago from the building's west side and a heart-stopping vista of the street and Chicago River below — for those brave enough to look straight down. '

NPR NEWS
"Revolutionary War Museum Surrenders"
It was the "Joey Buttafuocco's Ye Olde Sunshine Patriot Taverne: Authentic Colonial Cheese Steaks" right on the battlefield next to the museum that did it. Waiters with their feet wrapped in rags. Tacky.

' A final Revolutionary War battle has come to an end. Plans for a $200 million museum complex inside Valley Forge National Historical Park — where George Washington's army once camped — have been scrapped. After vocal opposition and legal challenges, the planned American Revolution Center will now be built about 25 miles away, in the heart of Philadelphia. '

LA TIMES
"No Michael Jackson resolution in Congress"
Your tax dollars at work. Or not.

' Pelosi said she did not think it was necessary for Congress to have a resolution to honor Jackson. "What I have said to my colleagues over the years . . . is that there is opportunity on the floor of the House to express their sympathy or their praise any time that they wish," she said. "A resolution, I think, would open up to contrary views that are not necessary at this time." Rep. Barbara Lee (D-Oakland), chairwoman of the Congressional Black Caucus, declined to comment Thursday on Pelosi's decision. The resolution was sponsored by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas), who attended the Jackson memorial service in Los Angeles on Tuesday. The resolution called for honoring Jackson as a "global humanitarian and a noted leader in the fight against worldwide hunger and medical crises" and celebrating him as an "accomplished contributor to the worlds of arts and entertainment." Some lawmakers have paid tribute to Jackson from the House floor. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Judge blocks publication of Salinger spinoff book"
Phony bastards!

' U.S. District Judge Deborah Batts issued her written ruling in Manhattan after considering arguments in a lawsuit brought by the 90-year-old reclusive author against the publishers of "60 Years Later: Coming Through the Rye." Batts said Swedish author Fredrik Colting had "taken well more from `Catcher,' in both substance and style, than is necessary for the alleged transformative purpose of criticizing Salinger and his attitudes and behavior." She said Colting's claim that he also wrote the book to critically examine Salinger's most famous character, Holden Caulfield, was "problematic and lacking in credibility." She also rejected arguments that the depiction of a character in Colting's book to represent Caulfield 60 years later was a parody. She said in a footnote that Colting and his publishers made no indication before the lawsuit was filed that the book was meant as a parody or critique of Salinger's work. '

REUTERS
"Medici lawyer says Kohn didn't get Madoff payments"
If you think their artists are great, wait till you see their attorneys!

' Investors are suing Medici in Austria and the United States. Some of the lawsuits contend that Kohn was implicated in Madoff's scheme or that she should have grown suspicious of his steady performance and should have warned investors. '

THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR
"British warning: Summer is forced marriage season"
There's still time to register at Chattel.com.

' Seventeen years old, she had already refused to marry her first cousin two years earlier – an act of defiance that resulted in her being withdrawn from school by her parents. "I couldn't believe they had brought me from Birmingham to Pakistan on such a huge lie," she says. "It crushed me." That was more than decade ago, but government figures released today suggest the true scale of Britain's forced-marriage problem is only now beginning to emerge. It is estimated that between 5,000 and 8,000 cases of forced marriage occurred in Britain last year, according to the Department for Children, Schools, and Families. Most are teenage girls from Britain's large Pakistani, Bangladeshi, and Indian communities. They're married off, according to the report, to bond the young women to their community, keep clan promises, or as a way to provide a British visa for a foreign family member or friend. The figures have delivered a fresh jolt to Britain's multicultural paradigm, which until recently handled reports of forced marriage and associated "honor crimes" as cultural issues, beyond the remit of the justice system '

.
.

TO POST A COMMENT: CLICK ON "COMMENTS," "Post a Comment" or "# of COMMENTS" just below the SOCIAL BOOKMARKING LINKS (Digg, Delicious, etc), about three inches down from here. Please do comment. Thank you.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR BLOGGERS:

Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!

FUNNY, SCARY, WEIRD NEWS TODAY

.
SHARKS, VOLCANOS & COOKIES ARE COMING TO GET YOU

"Sarychev Peak on Matua Island"

YOU CAN'T RUN AND YOU CAN'T HIDE

We Gots Dem Ol' Pyroclastic Flow Blues

Ah, nobody lives forever. If the Tylenol don't getchya, the swinebird flu will. So go enjoy a quick hookup, before the little pink elephants come back. Hic.


LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Amazing Volcano Photo Reveals Shock Wave"
Mother Nature having a smoke.

' The main plume appears to be a combination of brown ash and white steam, according to a NASA statement. The vigorously rising plume gives the steam a bubble-like appearance. The surrounding atmosphere has been shoved up by the shock wave of the eruption, scientists said. Volcano plumes are so chaotic that they produce lightning, as revealed in pictures for the first time earlier this year. The smooth white cloud on top may be water condensation that resulted from rapid rising and cooling of the air mass above the ash column. This cloud is probably a transient feature, scientists say, with the eruption plume is starting to punch through. The cloud casts a dark shadow to the northwest of the island. '

NPR
"Sex Without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships"
News Flash: It's always been like this. Young people screw around, until they are too fat, old & ugly to get laid. Then they start with the weird fantasies about how much sex other, younger people are having. Except it's never quite that easy or that plentiful. It's called human nature. Report that.

' Young people during one of the most sexually active periods of their lives aren't necessarily looking for a mate. What used to be a mate-seeking ritual has shifted to hookups: sexual encounters with no strings attached. "The idea used to be you are going to date someone that is going to lead to something sexual happening," Bogle says. "In the hookup era, something sexual happens, even though it may be less than sexual intercourse, that may or may not ever lead to dating." '

LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Pets Pass Superbug to Humans"
It's not just fleas any more.

' "As community-acquired strains of MRSA increase in prevalence, a growing body of clinical evidence has documented MRSA colonization in domestic animals, often implying direct acquisition of S aureus infection from their human owners," they write. "MRSA colonization has been documented in companion animals such as horses, dogs, and cats, and these animals have been viewed as potential reservoirs of infection." '

YAHOO NEWS
"Great white sharks hunt just like Hannibal Lecter"
Fortunately, Clarisse Starling is on to them

' Great white sharks have some things in common with human serial killers, a new study says: They don't attack at random, but stalk specific victims, lurking out of sight. The sharks had a distinct M.O. They were focused. They stalked from a usual base of operations, 100 yards from their victims. It was close enough to see their prey, but not close enough to be seen and scare off their victims. They attacked when the lights were low. They liked their victims young and alone. They tried to attack when no other sharks were around to compete. They learned from previous kills. And they attacked from below, unseen. '

LIVE SCIENCE.com
"Oldest Elephant Relative Found"
In case you were wondering what ever happened to Roseanne Barr... And this is why braces are important, kids:

' The animal's relation to elephants was determined via analysis of the specimen's teeth and skull. While it lacked a trunk, the animal had an enlarged first incisor, which researcher Emmanuel Gheerbrant of the National Museum of Natural History in Paris, France, says represents a primitive tusk. It was much smaller than the tusks of today's elephants. '

THE WASHINGTON POST
"Among Many Peoples, Little Genomic Variety"
And in Ireland, we have the Guinness gene.

' Among West Africans, a chance mutation in the blood protein hemoglobin turned out to partially protect against malaria. It rapidly became common in places where malaria was a huge threat to survival. Similarly, a mutation allowing adults to digest milk became valuable when Middle Easterners and Europeans domesticated cattle. About 90 percent of Scandinavians now carry it. '

REUTERS
"Nestle recalls Toll House cookie dough after E. coli warning"
Mmmmm! Chocolate sh*t cookies! Try the chocolate sh*t mint cookies. Better for your breath.

' Nestle's U.S. baking division said on Friday that it was voluntarily recalling its Toll House refrigerated cookie dough products after the U.S. Food and Drug Administration warned of the risk of contamination with E. coli bacteria. Nestle said the FDA and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention were investigating reports of illnesses caused by E. coli O157:H7 in consumers who also reported having eaten raw cookie dough. E. coli can cause abdominal cramping, vomiting and diarrhea, the FDA said. '

REUTERS
"Will two flus mix in Indonesia? Experts worry"
Or in "developed" countries without universal single-payer national healthcare.

' Ben Cowling, public health expert at the University of Hong Kong, said people with serious infections who would be admitted to hospitals in developed countries and survive might die in poorer countries. '

REUTERS
"Drug cos at odds with FDA over acetaminophen risk"
Oh, thank Gawd! I thought the number one cause of acute liver failure was Bud Lite.

' Estimates vary, but a 2007 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report found acetaminophen use was the most common cause of the estimated 1,600 cases of acute liver failure that year, the FDA said. Alcohol use and liver disease can also increase a consumer's risk, experts say. '

YAHOO NEWS
"States could lose money over prison rapes"
Oh, NO! The State might lose money! Look for the infomercial & the DVD: "Guards Gone Wild!"

' Inmates who are short, young, gay, or female were more likely to be victimized than other inmates. Even when inmates are willing to report abuse, their accounts are not always taken seriously and reported to appropriate officials. In a 2007 study, the Bureau of Justice Statistics found that more than 60,000 inmates are sexually abused every year. The study found that 4.5 percent of those surveyed reported being sexually abused in the previous 12 months. That study also said more prisoners reported abuse by staff than by other prisoners: 2.9 percent to about 2 percent, respectively. The commission's report recommended that prison authorities adopt more internal monitoring, such as video cameras, as well as external oversight by review boards. '

.
.

TO POST A COMMENT: CLICK ON "COMMENTS," "Post a Comment" or "# of COMMENTS" just below the SOCIAL BOOKMARKING LINKS (Digg, Delicious, etc), about three inches down from here. Please do comment. Thank you.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR BLOGGERS:

Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!