ROCKET MAN ZAPS MATERIAL GIRL

Elton Bitch-Slaps Madonna

What was that claymation show on cable, while ago? Big (asshole) stars battling it out in unlikely combos in a claymation boxing ring? Well, it's come to life. Eventually, everything comes true. Hey, maybe like, Vanilla Ice could jap-slap Britney Spears or something.

I said it online, so it could happen now, right?

"Elton John Takes Blasts Madonna for Lip-Synching"

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TALK SHOW

CARTER REDUX?

Uh-oh. Edwards reminds me of Carter. A little too smarmy-Southern-sweet; also a little too smart-assed young lawyer criticizing the sober old man in charge. Of course, Cheney is lying out his ass, but he does it better than Bush.

CALL HIM A LIAR, GODDAM IT!!!

Uh-oh. More Iraq. Giving Cheney a chance to re-state the message Dubya wandered off of. Will the sheep out there follow him? I doubt they'll follow these intricate, detailed arguments, which would require some knowledge of the facts.

CHENEY ADMITS NO CONNECTION BETWEEN SADDAM & 9/11!!!
BIG headline!!!

Now Cheney's back to this bullshit about Kerry submitting US security to the UN.

CALL HIM A LIAR!!!

Democracy in Afghanistan? Yuh, right. Opiumocracy, maybe; which will bring the Taliban back in.

YES! Edwards is on it! Dubya & Dick the Dope-Dealers!

Now Dick's onto El Salvador! BRING UP IRAN-CONTRA!!!

Nope. Now Jonnie's waffling on the "Global Test." Stupid.

Cheney zings Edwards on Senate absenteeism, goes on lying about Iraq. Boring details. Blah-blah-blah.
No record charge. Distortion of Kerry's record again.
Threatening voters? Kerry dared to oppose defense contract boondoggles, and Repuke's Imperial ambitions.

Edwards zinger: "A long resume does not equal good judgement."

Edwards zings Cheney for criticizing Kerry for voting against weapons systems SecDef Cheney later eliminated.
Zing on Bush cutting combat pay.

First Cheney says Coalition is good & strong as first Gulf War, then says it's weak cuz Kerry said so.

Cheney falsely implies Edwards has demeaned Iraqi "contributions" to our invasion & occupation, pretends that they are carrying more than 10% of the burden.

This gives Edwards an opening on the actual situation today in Iraq: The mess on your TV screen every night.

Moderator zings Cheney on his support for lifting sanctions . . . on Iran? IRAN???

Now Cheney cites UN resolutions on Iraq. Do we need their approval, or not? Waffling, DICK???

Touting Bush policy on Iran & N. Korea. HAH!

Touts Qaddaffi turn-around. But he's still turning...

HALLIBURTON! FINALLY!! GIT 'EM, JONNIE!!!

30 seconds! "Charges against Halliburton false"! He's continuing to defend Halliburton!

Halliburton did biz with sworn enemies of the US. ZING!

LAST WORD on foreign policy:

Israel. Uh-oh. Who can be the biggest Zionist?

Back to Halliburton again. STUPID, Dick. Now trying the Senate attendance thing again.
ZING. Never saw you in the Senate, Jonnie! (Course, Cheney's only there on Tuesdays, or to meet with Repukes in secret...)

ZAPPING Cheney's evil voting record. Cheney speechless. Says nothing about Israel. That's our policy, right? Say nothing about Israel?

DOMESTIC ISSUES:

Cheney dodges question on jobs & poverty. Diverts to blah-blah on universal free public education, which Repuke's are trying to put a stop to. Therich don't need it. And it's wasted on the peons.

ZAP Edwards is back to jobs & poverty. Zings Bush on jobs deficit. Zings Bush on outsourcing.

Cheney blah-blah on tax cuts. 5 million no longer pay taxes. HUNH?

Back-and-forth on taxes. Everybody is lying.

GAYS:

Cheney on gays: "Freedom for everybody." But no gay marriage. Hunh?

Edwards: Benefits for gays, no amendment against gay marriage. States rights. Marriage is between a man and a woman. But no gay marriage. Hunh?

LAWYERS:

Cheney: Frivilous lawsuits, trial lawyers, right to sue, rising malpractice insurance, medical costs.

Edwards: Too many lawyers, certify cases before trial, hold lawyers financially liable for frivolous lawsuits, but don't limit right to sue, two-cent screw (?)

Cheney: ZING on tax loopholes, cheating old ladies out of Medicare. Then goes on about seniors' drug-discount card rip-off he supports.

AIDS:

Cheney laments, tap-dances.

Edwards doubles money for AIDS, questions Bush committment.

QUALIFICATIONS:

Edwards: Are you too young & inexperienced? No, ma'am. Get ready for Cheney zingers, Jonnie.

Cheney: I'm experienced, but not ambitious. That's why I told Bush to pick me for VP.

Cheney: I come from modest circumstances. I'm just like Edwards.

Edwards: "Mr. Vice President, I don't think the country can take four more years of this type of experience."
I'm not like Cheney. I'm like Kerry.

FLIP-FLOPPING:

Edwards: They did it first.

Cheney: You did it worse.


LAST QUESTION:

Edwards takes advantage of the unfortunate African-American woman's mistake on whose turn it is to do what. POINTS AGAINST HIM!!! Alienating the base!

BIPARTISANSHIP:

Cheney: Zell MIller. (!!!)

Edwards: We're divided. Yup. Zell Miller.

HEALTH CARE:

Cheney: Blah. We're great.

Edwards: Blah. They suck.


CLOSINGS:

Edwards: "When I was young..." How cute.


Cheney: Blablabla. I grow old. Before our eyes.



"Cheney-Edwards Debate: Full Audio"

POPDEX TECHNORATI DAYPOP BLOGDEX WEBLOGS

Links:

• Ratboy's Anvil

TO POST A COMMENT: CLICK ON "COMMENTS," "Post a Comment" or "# of COMMENTS" just below the SOCIAL BOOKMARKING LINKS (Digg, Delicious, etc), about three inches down from here. Please do comment. Thank you.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR BLOGGERS:

Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!