OBAMA INFOMERCIAL: GETTYSBURG ON TV
BARACK SELLS BARACK, AMERICAN-STYLE
MCCAIN WHINES, LIKE A SPOILED ARISTOCRATIC BRAT
"WAAANH-WAAAAAAAH!!! THE BLACK GUY IS KICKING MY ASS!!! NO FAIR!!!"
Mississippi John McCain is understandably upset. What's the point of being white if you can't beat blacks? Why, his great-grand-daddy might have owned Obama's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grand-daddy, if the Obama's hadn't been from East Africa, instead of West Africa! It just doesn't seem fair that this "uppity negro" can now outsmart, out-talk, out-think, out-spend and out-poll his wannabee white master.
It doesn't seem fair to racist John Sidney McCain III. To the rest of us, it seems fair like a motherf*cker. After all, Barack Obama is not only of "mixed" ancestry, he is the son of an immigrant father, and a poor mother, who had to give him up to be raised by his Tutu, as we call our grannies here in da Aloha State. With two strikes against him, Obama took the one good pitch Gawd A'mighty sent his way, a wise & supportive set of solvent grandparents, and knocked the ball out of our little island park here, and into the wide world without, for a realio-trulio Hawaiian home run, maybe even a Congressional grand slam. And now, as he rounds third base under his own steam, not even breaking a sweat, young Barack may think fleetingly as he heads into the home stretch, that he made it on his own hook, from rags to spiritual and political riches, with a little help from his friends. Us.
So, yeah, we think it is eminently fair that our first African-American President-to-be has done so well and made us all so proud, in an uniquely American way. And we think that it is almost like a really really great movie out of the dreaded Hollywood that he should be doing all this with such an admixture of heroic humility and humble determination that no man, no woman can fault him.
Like the first, last and only great Republican President, a fellow Illinoisan with a socially questionable exterior and a gift of gab and a fiery burning historic sense of justice, Barack appears to be ready to offer the olive branch that old Abe meant to offer, if some proto-McCainiac hadn't gunned him down. "With malice toward none, with charity for all." All of us who nervously pinch our pennies today can stop to regard the image on them, of the man who made Barack Obama possible. We believe that Obama is of the people, by the people and for the people, and that he shall not perish from this Earth until his work is done. And we will all be there to help him, without whining or whinging, because that is what Americans do. It is only fair.
We think it is so goddamned fair, so all-around right and just and equitable, that the approach of this particular Election Day is like unto the coming of Christmas. It feels so good that even crotchety old loser John McSame cannot allay our joy. Free at last, we might almost say, thank Gawd A'Mighty, free at last. Free of the foul stench of slavery and Jim Crow. Free of the blight of racism and discrimination that has struck so many communities and families. Free of the oppressive, utterly negative, hateful paranoia and greed and envy and anger and violence that the Republican Party has come to represent. Free to simply, as Barack Obama put it, turn the page of history, and start a new chapter in the democratic saga of our America, may she never look back. Free to say, Brother, you are welcome as rain on parched ground, and we will focus our attention on continuing to support you as long as you continue to justly represent us. Oh, yeah, and God Bless America. Where the Hell else could this happen? The world will most definitely note and long remember this.
Now, step aside, John McBush. History is coming on through. For once in your life, in your family's life, in your Party's life, do the right thing. Show some grace. Be a man. Accept the olive branch, and take Obama's hand. Spend your last years as you have said you always wished to do, serving not self, not Party, but Country. For once, put country first.
Labels: Abraham Lincoln, American democracy, American dream, Barack Obama, end of Jim Crow, Gettysburg, light of the world, McCain sore loser, rags to riches, second inaugural, turning the page on slavery
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