DUBYA BRINGS IN THE ALIPH-TEAM
ROVE SECONDED TO OSAMA
BUSH'S BRAIN NOW WORKS FOR AL QAIDA
As The U.S. Presidential Campaign Heats Up, Republicans Bring Bin Laden Out Of The Closet
US loner helps bin Laden to taunt Bush
Sporting a shiny new prophet-beard and an angry white guy's fistful of Neocon talking points, alleged Islamic fundamentalist terrorist leader and accused 9/11 mastermind Osama "Bin" Laden threw his towel into the ring on behalf of old family friend George "W" Bush.
Reading from a page seemingly recycled from Karl Rove's 2000 play-book, the enormous, uncatchable diabetic with the best-known face in the world (who has been receiving medically sophisticated dialysis treatments three times a week in U.S. ally Pakistan's primitive northern provinces since being escorted out of neighboring Afghanistan by American troops six years ago) was careful to hit Democrats hard with promises of No New Taxes, a Shining City on the Hill, and An End To Civilization As We Know It.
The release of the video was carefully timed to coincide with Bush's stunt-cameo in Iraq: Both men chided Democrats from Middle-Eastern hideouts this week, for imagining that pulling out of Iraq would lead to an end of the "War on Terror." Bin Laden also criticized Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards' expensive haircuts.
He then went on to attack Barack Obama for occasional factual errors in his speeches, and eating ballpark hot dogs, which may contain pork, during a campaign stop at Wrigley Field. Hillary was pilloried for flip-flopping on the war, and refusing to wear a chador. These same points were made this morning by callers to the Rush Limbaugh radio show; on Hannity & Colmes by a right-wing southwest Asian professor of something or other who has a new book out called, "Moslems Gonna Eat Ya Mamma, Whitey," whose name we didn't quite catch; and Michelle Malkin muttering to herself on the crosstown bus.
Karl Rove appears in the background of the video, waving an AK-47 and shouting, "BAN GAY MARRIAGE, INFIDEL DOGS," in flawless, flowery, classical Arabic, marred only by a thick Texas hick drawl. The drawl identifies Rove, otherwise perfectly disguised in a stage beard and Bedouin robes, and using the name "Korndawggie the American."
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