OLIVIA WILDE NEKKID

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13 FROM "HOUSE" CONFIRMS DIAGNOSIS:

WOMEN'S GARB CAUSES PERSONALITY DISORDERS



Human Females Are Easier To Get Along With When Unclothed

Years of exhaustive research, at great personal and impersonal cost to this researcher, have led to a startling conclusion: Feminine apparel negatively impacts human interactions, and is best left off.

A close examination of girl-wear reveals certain incontrovertible facts: Ladies' garments constrict bloodflow and reduce range of motion, conceal body parts which are intended to be revealed as a survival strategy, and distract encumbered females from the critical business of mating. (Especially shoes.)

Intensive testing, re-testing, and re-re-testing proves conclusively that women are happier without their costumes, and better able to form both permanent and half-hourly bonds at home and in the tall grass behind the municipal gazebo while nude. Excessive clothing has now been proven to reduce chances of reproduction, and is plainly a failed strategy for distributing genetic material. In short, both individual females and the human race as a whole fare better when clothing is optional.

In conjunction with this study, funded by the National Council of Dudes, NATLCOD, a corporate policy of "Nekkid Fridays" has been instituted at all Fortune 5,000,000 companies. NATLCOD Chairman Roger Abley, who personally commissioned the apparel-effects study, has recommended that all member organizations stand firm in observing "National Nekkid Friday," beginning this Whitsuntide, or the day after Thursday, whichever is sooner in your jurisdiction.


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Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.

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