IT'S TIME TO GO
REPUKES & DINO'S OUT!
WE RECOMMEND A WHOLE NEW CONGRESS & CABINET
OR, HEY, OBAMA CAN GO TOO!
Some Modest Proposals For The Replacements
Hey, look, guys, um. This just isn't working out, y'know? I mean, we voted for "CHANGE," remember? So, anyway, pack your trash, OK, you have until sundown. We already have new guys. And gals.
1. Vice President: Joe, you're OK, but a little too acceptable to the assassin type: White. We need, like, a Cheney: Somebody even worse than Bush was the best insurance policy for him. So we're nominating Al Sharpton for Vice President.
2. Secretary of State: Now that Hillary has effectively been neutered... Or is it spayed? ...Anyway, she can be safely packed off to our first permanent settlement on the Moon. She can be La Regina Della Luna. We need the globetrotter job back for Nancy Pelosi. Anything to get her ineffectual ass out of DC.
3. Secretary of Defense: Stephen Colbert. They need a guy with a sense of humor. I think he might be gay, too. Also a plus. If not, then Rachel Maddow. Her Dad was military, so they should be kewl with that.
4. Secretary of the Treasury: Paul Krugman. So, nu?
5. Secretary of Homeland Security: NYPD's Ray Kelly, or LAPD's Benjamin Bratton. Anybody Rudy fired has to be good.
6. Secretary of Labor: Is Cesar Chavez still alive? How 'bout his son? Or anybody who has ever actually worked for a living.
7. Secretary of the Interior: Dennis Banks. It's only fair.
8. Secretary of Energy: A solar dude or dudette. Or Guy Kawasaki.
9. Secretary of Commerce: Someone from Orchard Street, in NYC. Or Omarosa?
10. Secretary of Transportation: Atrios. Maybe he'll shut up about trains if we let him run them.
11. Fed Chairman: Paul Krugman also. WHY not!?
12. Speaker Of The House: Is Bella Abzug reanimatable? If not, then Joyce Behar. Or Whoopie Goldberg.
13. Senate Majority Leader: Of course, Mr. Al Franken. Just for being so patient.
14. UN Ambassador: Mr. Monk. Here's the thing...
15. FEMA Chief: Any Mayor of New Orleans. BOO-YAH!!!
16. Bureau Of Indian Affairs: Leonard Peltier. For good behavior.
17. Dept of Veterans Affairs: Tammy Duckworth, so far so good; time for a promotion.
18. EPA: Kermit T. Frogg. He knows. It's not easy. Or Al Gore, if he can fit in the frog suit.
19. FBI Director: David Duchovny. I want to believe. The truth is out there. Trust no one. No smoking.
20. Supreme Court: Judge Judy, Judge Wapner, Judge Mathis, and Judge Dredd, just for balance. The liberals can stay, the Nazi's are OUT!
21. Pope: Guido Sarducci. Or Sinead O'Connor. Or me. I look good in tall hats.
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Labels: change of seasons, change we had better be able to believe in, changing of the guard, in with the new, lying DINO's, new blood, Obamacon, out with the old guard, we've been CONNED
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