NO SEX, JUST LIES & VIDEOTAPE

Boy. I never thought I'd miss Bill Clinton! Every day, you could turn on the news, and get a chuckle. A REAL Good Ol' Boy! NOW, we've got this phony Connecticut rich kid, son, grandson, great grandson of useless idiot rich kids, pretending to be an ignorant Texas shitkicker. Well, the ignorant part is real. But who the fuck wants to turn on the news at all any more? Shee-it-fahr, bawz, hit haint hardleh' funneh' naw mower!

A thousand plus dead in Iraq, plus TENS of thousands of "sand-niggers." We don't even COUNT them. And every goddamned one of 'em has a vengeful family with no purpose in life other than blowing US up whenever they get a chance! If you think this Mid-East ass-kickin' is not going to have consequences, yer even fucking STUPIDER than Dubya.

It took a WHOLE generation for the Palestinians to strike back at the Israelis, after the 1948 Arab Holocaust. Twenty years later, the sons of the fathers who were murdered, humiliated, and driven off their land came back with a vengeance: Blowing up shit, hijacking planes, pushing cripples off cruise ships in their wheelchairs. If that doesn't work, body-bombs in pizzerias, exploding book-bags on buses, car bombs at the mall . . . Your local mall. WAIT for it!

Well, maybe we'll all be dead in twenty years. Is that what the Re-puke-lickin's are a-hopin'? SHIT-FIRE!!! Just remember, those of you who are young enough to receive the bill (or the draft notice) for this when it comes due in twenty years (or less): EVERYTHING Bush says is BULLSHIT!!! No sense breakin' it down, that's the bottom line. Kerry may or may not be a boring, flip-flopping pussy, but he AIN'T Bush!

Kerry NEVER allowed an attack on the US homeland. Kerry never let the perpetrators get away. Kerry never used 911 as an excuse to do the oil companies' bizniz. Kerry never lied about WMDs. Kerry never sent troops into battle without sufficient men, money and equipment to do the job. Kerry never stirred up hatred of us throughout the Arab & Muslim world. Kerry never impugned another combat veteran's service record. That psuedo-born-again alcoholic piss-test-skipping coke-freak and deserter-in-time-of-war DUBYA did! BUSH DID!!! What's worse, yawl, occaisionally flip-flopping or consistently lying out yer ass?

Fuck it, maybe this SHOULD be the last election. Americans may just be too ignorant for the privilege of voting. They'll sell their votes for as little as $400 --of their OWN tax money! Enjoy your next tax-break, suckers: While humping a 100-pound pack and a rifle in North Korea or Iran! Maybe they have a comprehensive health-care plan in their PRISON CAMPS!

Think Hillary'd suck anybody off in the Oval Office? Fuck, I HOPE so! Let's write her in!

Iraq Uprising Growing, Powell Says
U.S. troops arrest senior commander north of Baghdad
Troop documents conflict with Bush claims
Bush Says Survey Shows Upbeat View
Bush claims `steady progress' in Iraq as Kerry turns up heat
Republicans in Congress Breaking Ranks With Bush

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COUCH POTATO FAMINE

Saturday night. When the Vast Wasteland becomes even . . . wastier. I vaguely recollect when Saturday was a GOOD night on TV: Great films, classic movies, corny Sci-Fi, scary horror fliks. Mom would make popcorn and we'd all bond with the Couch. Ah, the Couch! Its' great pendulous bubs always ready to receive our semi-conscious sucking! Why isn't there a Couch Day? There's a Father's Day. Why IS there a fathers Day? Might as well have a Leaky Rubber Day, a Drunken Back-Seat Orgy Day, or a Late Child-Support Check Day, for all there is to fathering. (It's GOOD to be a guy!)

Mother's Day, OK: The nine months of puking, the horrible pains of labor, the lost wardrobe, the inability to listen to good music any more, the guilt, the guilt, the guilt. The guilt alone deserves a holiday. Why not a Guilt Day? Ah, right, Rosh Hashanah! No, a non-secular one. Only NUTS believe in Gawd these days. And they'll fucking KILL ya to prove it! Maybe we should revive Saturday Night At The Movies, so we all have an excuse to stay home and avoid religious terrorist attacks.

Think about a Couch Day, though . . .


POPDEX TECHNORATI DAYPOP BLOGDEX WEBLOGS

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