WHINING WITH WINEHOUSE

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BRITNEY STARTS TREND

WILL HILLARY BE NEXT?

It's OK To Be A Mess

Hallelujah! Women have at last reached full equality! No, not the White House. I'm talking about the real privileges of maleness: Heart attacks, strokes, drug addiction, and yes, rehab. Or not rehab. That is the question.

Now women can slouch around the house all day in dirty underwear, piss all over the toilet, and skip their child support payments. If only Susan B. Anthony could be here to see it.

Women are free to commit war crimes, torture innocent civilians, and napalm helpless villages. BOO-YAH!!! Can gang-rape be far behind? Ms. Strap-On says no, in a new infomercial running all night long on FOX.

The next step will be, of course, charging for milk. Why should babies get off scot-free? Connubial bliss, that'll have to be negotiated at the bargaining table. And I'm thinking major IPO for Pussy, LLC. Think, Starbucks, with pubic hair. Pretty soon, unpaid female labor will be a thing of the past, and the gender gap will be something men have to lick. Or else.

Unfair, antiquated, sexist terminology like "SLUT!", "SLATTERN!", "SCAG!" "WHORE!", and ""PIG!" will no long be applied, because they will be the norm. Hooray! And we all have Amy Winehouse to thank for this. Hock us a loogie, baby! You've earned it!
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