ENUFF with the DEMOCRACY already!!!

The Justices picked us a perfectly good President just four years ago people! Come on, people, you know you'd rather have BBQ with this guy! What else is there? Anyway, the real Prez says all this voting and debating and flipflopping just weakens us! So cut it out!!! Suck it up! Look, just till all of our enemies have been defeated once and for all. The evildoers. The antichristians. The democrats.

OK, OK, how's this? We just give Dubya four more years, and if all the bad guys aren't gone by then, we try somebody else. Like Jeb. Or Marvin. Or some other Bush.

The economy? Hey, I'm doing great! I'm running guestworkers in and out of WalMart for $2/hr, and charging $5/hr, no bene's, no documentation, no questions asked! This economy is what you make of it! My glass is totally full! Of oil!!! Wahoo!!! $50 a barrel, Baby! Go Dubya, Go Dubya, Go Dubya!

I've also got money in rebreathers, new technology that will render so-called fresh air obsolete. You don't want your kids breathing lower-class kids' air, anyway, do ya? Some exciting opportunities in the Christian water industry, too. Can't talk about it right now, though. Send for a prospectus. (Damned bureaucrats!)

Hell, I'm just too damned busy for this democracy crap right now! Let's just let Bush & Cheney & Rumsfeld & Ashcroft run things for the duration, and thank God we don't have to think or worry or sacrifice anything for this kewl new kind of war. Unless you're stupid enough to join the Guard or the Reserve or the active duty military. Shit, even Dubya was smarter than that! Don't be like that idiot Kerry! He couldn't even get himself a cushy non-combat job in Vietnam! What a flipflopper!

Look, if Dubya loses a nuculer war with Iran or North Korea or whoever, then we vote! Until then, let's just can all this talk about democracy, hunh, people? Just till we're all safe again.

Now, go watch TV!

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TV World

So much better than your world. Everyone is smart and/or pretty! And even stupid people always get everything they want. In less than an hour! Don't you wish you were on TV?

Get on cable, though. Broadcast TV is so over. The new season has already started, but who even noticed?

Well, I did. I watched them all for you, the new scripted network series. Well, the non-reality series. Well the so-called dramas. And the so-called comedies. Some of them.

CSI: NY. This spin-off's pilot was run last season on spin-off CSI: Miami. It sucked. The gruel keeps getting thinner on these "franchises." Without the original CSI's cast, and writers, there's not much here to watch.

Hawaii. There has never been a good show made in or about the 50th state. This show carries on that tradition.

Jack & Bobby. OK, I give up. What the fuck is this show about? Wait, wait, don't tell me: I don't give a damn. Christine Lahti plays an extremely annoying woman. Oh, and there are two sons. One of 'em grows up to be President . . . Someday. The other one dies . . . Someday. Can't wait. Really. Can't wait: I give up. NEXT!

Joey. All that's left of Friends. Could be worse. Could be a lot better. Whatever happened to those Friends writers? They should have a show.

LAX. Two really stupid people, once considered "hot," like way back in the 80's, I guess, try to run an airport when they're not bickering about petty bullshit. FASCINATING! It does explain LAX, though. The real one. What a mess. The show, too. (PS: It's not a comedy. Well, it's not funny, either...)

Listen Up. George Costanza, weakened still further by kryptonite, ruins another show. Maybe a beard. Or a toupe? Or another actor altogether. And writers. Yeah, get some, like, funny writers, too.

Medical Investigation. CSI, it's not. Even good actors have trouble spitting out wooden dialogue. By the time the "exciting" conclusion finally rolls around, you just don't care any more. Get some writers, guys.

PREMIERING TONIGHT:

Lost. See above, re Hawaii shows.

The Mountain. Let's hope it can act.

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