BUSH JOKES

IF THAT'S NOT TOO REDUNDANT

Laugh Till You Cry

Someone asked Bush if he wasn't lowering the bar at the White House. He replied, "Heck, no, I can barely crawl out of that dang bar now!"


At a recent White House briefing, a reporter asked Bush's Press Secretary whether the President wasn't now going to be following a strict Republican party line.
The snippy response: "There IS no 'Party Line'!!!"
"Dubya snorted it!" yelled some wag in the back of the room
Three foreign journalists were then frog-marched away by Homeland Security, and have not been seen since.
Rumour has it, they're in Gitmo, for the duration. And, they may have been FRENCH!


A Maine State Trooper pulled over Dubya, one night recently, outside of Kennebunkport.
"Wazza prol'em, occifer," enquired the President.
"Good evening, sir. Are you aware that you were driving without your lights on, on the wrong side of the road, at double the posted speed limit? And you appear to me to be... impaired."
"Waaaaaall... you appear ta me ta be awl bah yersef!!!
'R' yew aware who AH am?
Waaaaaaaaall.. Ah'll till ya, AHM the Prdisen a na OOnited Estates!"
"Sir, are you aware that this is now a blue State? Step out of the car, please..."


Dubya, on a recent visit to an Army hospital tending to grievously wounded soldiers returned from the war in Iraq, stopped by the bedside of one particularly horrible case. The poor man had lost half of his face, one arm and one leg.
Dubya sized him up, and with that well-known common charm, asked, "Damn, boy! Where's yer FACE?"
Nonplussed, the trooper wheezed, painfully, "I lost it outside of Najaf, Mr. President."
"Heh-heh. Well hell, son! Lemme jes' send ya back over there ta LOOK fer it!" turning to the cameras for a grin.

A voter complained to Dubya that she'd had trouble with the new electronic voting machines.
"Dang it!" Dubya replied,"Carl said them machines was all FIXED!"





HEADLINES:

Elizabeth Edwards Diagnosed With Breast Cancer
Carl Rove: "DAMN! Why didn't I think of that? Laura?"

US Warplane Strafes School in New Jersey
Take THAT, public education!

Putin Signs Kyoto Climate Accord
DAMN! Bush even makes them ROOSKIES look good!

French Press Say Arafat "Brain Dead"
But his great, good heart is still OK, right...?

Islamist Shoots Film-Maker Van Gogh
"I was only trying to get his ear."

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THE GREATEST SPINNING EVER SOLD

THE MEDIA SPREADS ITS' HOARY LEGS

"The Only Stupid Question Is The One You Didn't Ask"

Like, "Hey, what's the rush?" Like, "Why doesn't Bush wait for the results, or Kerry's concession before declaring victory?" Or even, "How do we even know who won, with no paper trail?"

Media superstars get six, seven, eight figures a year, for some reason. I guess somebody figures they're worth it. But, is it for the questions they ask, or the questions they don't ask? The above seemed pretty obvious, pretty good, pretty fair questions, given the importance of this election, above all elections. But none of those millionaires asked those questions. I wonder why not?

Lawyers always say "Never ask a question you don't know the answer to; or don't WANT to know the answer to." Good advice, in court. But, what about on TV, the radio, or in the newspaper? How else can they find stuff out, if they don't ask questions? Do they just assume stuff? Or do they already know the answers? If so, why aren't they sharing them with us? Aren't they always going on about the public's right to know? Well, guys, don't we have a right to know what's up with this election?

It's our election, after all. They're running for our votes, right? So, how is it that, as soon as we cast them, we lose control of our votes? How is it that we have no more say, for four more years? How is it that no one is accountable to us for our votes? I mean, they're not even waiting a day, a week, a month, a year to blow us off any more. it's happening on election night, before all the votes are even counted.

So, here's my question. It's a simple one. What the hell is going on here? Oh, and why isn't anybody else asking that question, for a million bucks?

Hm. I think I may have just answered my own question: For a million bucks.





Links:

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• By Beauty Damned


• Shining Light In Dark Corners


• Just A Bump In The Beltway


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• The American Street


• Eschaton


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• daily kos

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TO POST A COMMENT: CLICK ON "COMMENTS," "Post a Comment" or "# of COMMENTS" just below the SOCIAL BOOKMARKING LINKS (Digg, Delicious, etc), about three inches down from here. Please do comment. Thank you.

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SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!