UK GETS 4" OF SNOW, CLOSES DOWN

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OBAMA CALLS QUEEN A "PUSSY"

BRITS RIOT OUTSIDE US EMBASSY

"Snow in London"


Biden Says This Is The Crisis He Warned About

Chip shops were closed, bobbies took shelter in pubs and the Queen's Left Foot Guards huddled in the gift shop of Buckingham Palace in London in temperatures that dipped just below freezing today. It was Great Britain's coldest day and largest snowfall since Egmann the Unpleasant ate his mother after mutton became unavailable in the Grate Blyte of 761 AD, for which Britain is now sometimes known as "Blighty."

President Barack Obama joked that this sort of weather would be considered a sign of Spring in his hometown of Chicago, and went on to mock the Queen of England and all of her royal subjects, comparing them to cats, or worse. Unemployed and homeless people in London subsequently attacked the Marine guards outside the US Embassy in London, who fired tear gas at the crowd, causing them to cry. Vice President Joseph Biden called CNN to say that this was the sort of event he had forecast in remarks he made during the the election campaign. "The m**herf**ker is crazy, man," Biden said.

Stocks rose on the news.

"Heavy snow hits much of England"

"Queen attends church despite snowy conditions"

"Heaviest snow in 20 years brings large parts of Britain to a halt"
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