LOOKING PRESIDENTIAL

Watching the debate between Bush and Kerry. Kerry looks doofy. Bush looks pissy. Is that what's got the soccer moms wet? Hey, girls, is pissy sexier than doofy? I prefer a doofy girl to a pissy girl, myself. Much better chance of getting laid. But I know some girls consider it to be sexy when they are able to piss a guy off. Harder hard-on? More aggressive fuck? Well, Bush has fucked us all quite enough already. I'll go with doofy.

Bush whipped out his Jesus and stroked it several dozen times in front of the entire country. Kerry kept his Jesus in his pants. So, there was no comparing of their Jesuses. Kerry revealed his Vietnam stigmata, however, which was equally effective. Bush chose not to compare his AWOL stigmata. I love a rousing game of Rock, Jesus, Stigmata. Rock beats Stigmata, Stigmata beats Jesus, Jesus beats Rock. No one whipped out his Rock, though. I'd say Kerry won, by a stigmata.

Will this puppet show change anyone's minds? I doubt it. Anyone who is still undecided at this point is brain-dead, and will only be able to vote in Florida. But only if they're white, and registered as Republicans.

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TOP TWENTY DEBATE QUESTIONS

1. When was the last time you used cocaine?

2. Would you bear false witness against your neighbour, or benefit by others doing so?

3. Ever slept with a black woman?

4. Have you ever gone hungry for lack of money?

5. What is the worst thing you've ever done?

6. Do the Arabs have any reason to be angry with the US?

7. Would you make abortion illegal?

8. Ever cheated on your wife?

9. Ever belonged to any club or social organisation that discriminates against Jews?

10. Did you give your all for America in Vietnam?

11. Do you believe in UFOs?

12. Do you ever get tired of your own bullshit?

13. Have you ever owned, operated, or worked for a company that accepted money from the Bin Laden family?

14. Would you allow a homosexual to sit on your lap?

15. Are your shoes comfortable?

16. Has a black man ever shined your shoes?

17. Should Mexicans be allowed to lower our wages by taking US jobs?

18. Should waitresses' tips be taxed?

19. Should foreign countries be required to follow US labor and environmental laws if they want to sell their goods here?

20. Do you or your wife wear fur?

POPDEX TECHNORATI DAYPOP BLOGDEX WEBLOGS

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