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Monday, October 04, 2004

UPTOWN GIRLS, DOWNTOWN GEEZERS


So, pianomeister Billy Joel is marrying his great-granddaughter. But, seriously, folks, why is it considered so wrong, so inappropriate for a much older man to marry, or boink, a much younger woman, when it seems to be perfectly OK for any old broads to hook up with all the young dudes? Why is the GUY always wrong? Is it because guys "take advantage" of girls?

Bit antiquated, that notion. Is it because young guys exploit older women? Well, don't young bimbos do the same to old men? Why is it more wrong if it's a young guy doing an old broad, or an old guy doing a young chickie, than the reverse? Is it just sexism? Is it because old guys molest young girls? Do old broads ever molest young boys? Anybody? Send us your squalid confessions of imposed grey lust, guys. Was it dusty? Did you reek of old people, afterwards? Did they make you drink their Geritol? Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!


"Billy Joel, 55, weds 23-year-old fiancee"





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OK, so the VP debates are not going to shizizzle. UNLESS... Cheney comes on like Darth Vader and cuts off Jonathan Edwards hand! This could work! The soccer-moms will go nuts. The Gen-Xers will be able to relate! Bush will be out the airlock! USE THE FORCE, LUKE!!!

Actually, all Edwards should do is stand there and look concerned for helpless plaintiffs, er, voters, with a slight smile. Cheney will just smirk and grimace and expel natural gas all night. Anybody got a match? There's yer visuals, America! Now, VOTE!






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