SICKO CINCO DE MAYO NEWS

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MORE RIDICULOUS SH*T FROM THE WORLD AT LARGE

YOUTUBE: WAR
"War - Low Rider"
Feliz Cinco De Mayo, Vatos Y Vatitas!


AND WHY IS IT STILL AT LARGE?

And Where Were You On The Night Of The Fifth Of Tequila, Er, Mayo, Urp, May, Siginoraeeny? Allegededly? Hic?

Our traditional America-insults-Mexico holiday celebration, in honor of some French dudes getting their asses kicked a long time ago in a galaxia far, far away. That's right, "Guererro De Las Estrellas"!

USA TODAY
"Religious freedom panel adds Iraq, Nigeria to list of concern"
We're helping them fight Christianity over there so they won't come over here and fight it? Your tax dollars at work in Iraq & Afghanistan.

' An independent federal panel on religious freedom has added two countries to its list of "countries of particular concern" — Iraq and Nigeria — and six others to its watch list. "The concerns outlined by the commission in December persist," said Nina Shea, one of the nine commissioners, at a news conference at the National Press Club. She said religious minorities in Iraq are the subject of killings, rapes, and abductions, and a significant portion of the Christian population has fled the country. "A lot of times there is a targeting of the prelates or the religious leaders or the directors of the churches, so it's also a terrorist tactic to show that even the most prominent Christian with the best protection is vulnerable," she said. "And that sets off an exodus."Now on its second-tier "watch list" are Afghanistan, Belarus, Cuba, Egypt, Indonesia. '

MCCLATCHY
"Senators: Put armed men on ships to stop pirates"
Republicans & DINO's apply failed domestic crime policies to international piracy: "It's cheaper to shoot starving children than it is to feed them."
Navy abdicates historic responsibility for keeping the sea lanes open: "We ran out of money in Iraq & Afghanistan. American shipping is now defenseless, despite our huge navy."

' That was the message senators delivered at two hearings Tuesday on U.S. efforts to combat piracy on the world's oceans, a growing problem punctuated in the U.S. by last month's capture of the Maersk Alabama and the dramatic rescue of its captain, Richard Phillips , by Navy SEALs. Phillips told a Senate Commerce subcommittee that the world must address socioeconomic problems on land in Somalia if it wants to eradicate Somali piracy in the Gulf of Aden and the Indian Ocean. "This will require an intensive international effort to address the root causes of piracy within Somalia , and this effort will undoubtedly long and difficult," he said. "But unless the root causes of piracy are addressed, it will continue to expand and evolve into a greater and greater threat for American and foreign seamen." However, members of the Senate Armed Services Committee , which met earlier in the day, had little use for the suggestion that Somalia's chronic political instability, lawlessness and poverty must be fixed in order to stamp out piracy. Instead, several senators voiced a get-tough position, expressing agitation that commercial shipping companies aren't doing more to provide their own security, and frustration over what they feel is a lack of international consensus on how to handle piracy. "These are criminals, and if we treat this criminal activity as being attributable to poverty, we're going to be ineffective in dealing with it," said Sen. Susan Collins , R- Maine . "So from my perspective, our policy is going to be ineffective until we treat this harshly, until we treat this as the criminal activity that it is." Sen. Joseph Lieberman , I-Conn., said it was costly for the U.S. military to patrol the nearly 1 million nautical square mile area near Somalia for pirates. That's also a diversion of military and intelligence resources at a time when the U.S. is fighting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan , he noted. He suggested that commercial shipping companies don't want to pay for securing their vessels, thinking the expense isn't worth it considering how infrequently pirate attacks occur. Statistically, high seas piracy is a small problem. Flournoy said that 33,000 vessels travel through the Gulf of Aden annually. There were 122 pirate attacks last year, of which 42 were successful. '

GOOGLE NEWS
"Navy cancels ship deployment due to swine flu"
War cancelled on account of pestilence. Two horsemen down, two to go.

' The U.S. Navy says it has canceled the deployment of a ship and ordered its entire crew to be treated with anti-viral drugs after a crew member's illness was confirmed as swine flu. Navy spokesman Lt. Sean Robertson said there are also about 50 suspected cases of the virus from crew members on board the USS Dubuque, which is based in San Diego. He said the crew member with the virus and those suspected of being ill from it have already completed treatment and are recovering. '

AFP
"China denies discriminating against Mexicans"
Imagine if we had quarantined every Chinese person, during the Hong Kong Flu or the SARS Epidemic.

' China on Monday denied discriminating against Mexicans with its strict flu control measures, but quarantined travellers from Mexico questioned aggressive Chinese steps that have sparked a diplomatic spat. "The relevant measures are not directed at Mexican citizens and are not discriminatory," foreign ministry spokesman Ma Zhaoxu said in a statement posted on the ministry's website. The statement came a day after Mexican diplomats complained bitterly to China, saying their countrymen had been placed under a seven-day quarantine despite showing no signs of swine flu. But the Mexican embassy says others arrived on planes from the United States and were quarantined solely because of their nationality. Myrna Elisa Berlanga, 31, a Mexican tourist who arrived in China on Saturday, questioned why she was being quarantined since no one on her flight from the United States had the virus. "Right now we are tired of being confined, not knowing what will happen with us," she told AFP by phone from the hotel near Beijing's airport where she and nine other Mexicans are being isolated. "In my case, it's not the same. Nobody was infected on our plane, so I'm wondering why I have to stay seven days in quarantine." '

GOOGLE NEWS
"'El no habla': Obama jumbles Cinco de Mayo salute"
Look! He's not perfect! Ay caramba!

' President Barack Obama's joke wasn't lost in translation — even though he referred to a Cinco de Mayo celebration as "Cinco de Cuatro." Obama jumbled his words as he welcomed guests to the White House to observe the Mexican holiday, sending the crowd into laughter before he referred to the day correctly. "Welcome to Cinco de Cuatro — Cinco de Mayo at the White House," said Obama, in what appeared to be an attempt to note they were celebrating on the fourth of May instead of the fifth. Cinco de cuatro means "five of four" in Spanish. "We are a day early, but we always like to get a head start here at the Obama White House," he said. During the presidential campaign, Obama acknowledged his Spanish skills weren't great. "My accent's always been good," he said. "It's just that I only know 15 words." The holiday, which marks the Mexican troops' defeat of the French on May 5, 1862, was overshadowed by a swine-flu outbreak that started in Mexico and has spread around the world. Obama pledged to work with Mexican officials to fight the swine flu and drug wars, using the early Cinco de Mayo celebration to underscore the challenges facing the neighboring countries. "I know it's a tough time, on both sides of the border," Obama told lawmakers and other guests. '

THE WASHINGTON POST
"Party Switch Costs Specter His Seniority on Senate Committees"
BWAWHAWHAWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

' The Senate last night stripped Sen. Arlen Specter (Pa.) of his seniority on committees, a week after the 29-year veteran of the chamber quit the Republican Party to join the Democrats. In announcing his move across the aisle last week, Specter asserted that Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.) had assured him he would retain his seniority in the Senate and on the five committees on which he serves. Specter's tenure ranked him ahead of all but seven Democrats. Instead, though, on a voice vote last night, the Senate approved a resolution that made Specter the most junior Democrat on four committees for the remainder of this Congress. (He will rank second from last on the fifth, the Special Committee on Aging.) Reid himself read the resolution on the Senate floor, underscoring the reversal. The loss of seniority could prove costly to Specter in his campaign to win reelection in 2010, denying him the ability to distinguish himself from a newcomer in his ability to claim key positions. Specter said last week that becoming chairman of the Appropriations Committee was a personal goal of his, and his Senate service seemed to put him in position to be the third-ranking Democrat there. Now, though, he will not hold even an Appropriations subcommittee chairmanship in 2011 -- a critical foothold Specter has used to send billions of dollars to Pennsylvania. '

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