"YOU GO TO WAR WITH THE ARMY YOU HAVE"

"NOT THE ARMY YOU MIGHT WANT"

"You Can Have All The Armor In The World On A Tank And A Tank Can Be Blown Up. And You Can Have An Up-Armored Humvee And It Can Be Blown Up."

--Secretary of Defense (for now), Donald F.U. Rumsfeld

Ahem.

My entry in the American Street Poetry Contest, based on Rumsfeld's latest brilliant quip:


sound off, one, two,
sound off, three, four,

i don't know but i been told
eskimo poontang's mighty cold
no one said that life was fair
so quit your whinin' over there

you go to war with the army you have
(us damned have-nots, 'specially)
not the army you wish you had
(an army of other guys, hopefully)

even a tank can get blown up
(an army no one wants to see)
in war there's never a guarantee
(why oh god does it gotta be me?)

hut-two-three-four
the army owns your ass for four
five-six-seven-eight
it's your recruiter you should hate

HOO-HAH!



You might remember the doo-wah-ditties from the movie "Stripes," with Bill Murray. Here's some actual "cadence-calls," marching-chants, Army songs:

JODY CHANT (SOUND OFF 2)

Am I right or wrong?
You right!
Am I right or wrong?
You right!
Am I right? You know I'm right
So tell me!
You right!

Jody was home when you left
When you left. Right!
Jody was home when you left
When you left. Right!
You had a good wife and you had a good home when you left! Right
But Jody was home when you left
When you left. Right!

Ain't no use in goin' home
Jody got yo' gal an gone
Am I right? You know I'm right
So tell me!
You right!

Every time you stamp yo' feet
Jody gets a piece of meat.
Am I right etc.

Ain't no use in goin' back
Jody got yo' Cadillac
Am I right etc.

Ain't no use in feelin' blue
Jody got your sister, too
Am I right etc.

Ain't no use to mourn an' grieve
Jody's gone, I do believe
Am I right etc.


"JODY CHANT (SOUND OFF 2)"


"Iraq-Bound Troops Confront Rumsfeld Over Lack of Armor"


"Oh Goody. Another Freakin’ Contest."

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UH MANOA FLOOD: TYPICAL LOCAL STUPIDITY

SUBTERRANEAN LIBRARY BUILT IN FLOOD PLAIN

Entire Collection Wiped Out By One Storm

Duh. Imagine building a library to house the most precious collection of something in the world. Imagine you have a big budget and your choice of sites. Imagine the collection is invaluable to scholars, and irreplaceable. Can you imagine building it in a flood plane, underground, without waterproofing it, or supplying it with pumps, or any means of protecting, or quickly moving the collection? Can you imagine having a flood, and losing almost all of the collection? No? Then, as we say here, Brah, you don't know Hawaii. So, shut up, you fuckin' Haole!

You don't know that we can build a baseball stadium at the same campus, where the spectators cannot see the infield from the stands. You don't know that we can build a football stadium, designed to use special metal girders that just get a little brown with age and weathering, without actually rusting: If only you hadn't used regular, corrosible, exposed, unpainted iron, instead, and let it rust away.

You don't know we can build a sewage-disposal system that spews raw, untreated sewage out past our famous touristic beaches, and surrounding waters, where we get all that nice fish for raw sushi.You don't know we can filter our drinking water through fields loaded with agricultural pesticides and herbicides. You don't know we can add lots of interesting but insalubrious things from all the military bases to the same run-off, and then drink it.

You don't know we can build a reflecting pond at the State Legislature, where the water never circulates properly, and is always foul and dirty.You don't know that we can spend a fortune on luxurious koa wood for furniture and panelling in the State Legislature, while Hawaiians go hungry, and homeless.

You dumb haole, you don't know nutting about Hawaii. No try for tell us nutting, no can tell us! You no humble, brah.



"UH's Hamilton Library loss catastrophic"





Send comments to cosanostradamus AT excite DOT com.



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TO POST A COMMENT: CLICK ON "COMMENTS," "Post a Comment" or "# of COMMENTS" just below the SOCIAL BOOKMARKING LINKS (Digg, Delicious, etc), about three inches down from here. Please do comment. Thank you.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR BLOGGERS:

Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!