BEATING YOUR BISHOP
That's a euphemism for spanking your monkey, polishing your knob, voting for bush, or just jerking off. But it needs to be done, for real, now more than ever.
OK, ya done?
Now, it's time to REALLY beat your Bishop! A bunch of ultra-right-wing child-molesters has taken over the "One Holy Apostolic and Catholic Church" in America, and they favour anti-Catholic George W. Bush over devout Catholic John F. Kerry. They plan to use their pulpits as soap-boxes, threatening parishioners with hellfire and damnation if they don't vote for coke-sniffing mass-murderer Dubya.
Why are they doing this, you may well ask? Ostensibly: Abortion. Stem-cell research. The "right to life," which, apparently, begins at conception and ends at birth, according to these Princes of the Church. They don't seem to mind Bush's support of "gun-rights" over victims' rights, the death penalty even in juvenile cases, and the unprovoked war in Iraq. But boy, the idea of a woman deciding for herself what to do with her own tissue, that gets them REALLY mad! Call it severe acute ecclesiastical womb envy syndrome, or SAEWES. (Not totally sure how to pronounce that. Maybe SACHWE, severe acute CATHOLIC HIERARCHICAL womb envy?)
It's time to cut these Nazi's loose. The Archdiocese of Boston, and others across the U.S., have suffered financially from the priest-child-abuse scandals. They should now be completely cut off from all parishioner dollars, for meddling in politics. They should also lose their tax-exempt status, which would bring in billions of local property-tax revenues now being denied to ailing cites nationwide. Catholics have long ignored the rulers of the Church, and their increasingly out-of-it pronouncements. Now's the time to boot these bastards right out of their own pews, and take control of the churches, and the Church itself, in the name of the real Church, its' people.
Where's Sinead O'Connor now that we really need her?
BTW, I'm Catholic. But circumcized. And I like long walks on the beach, sunsets, and (unconsecrated) wine that comes in boxes. Oh, and puppies, too. (Chicks dig puppies, right? Or is it kitties?) And kitties.
"Group of Bishops Using Influence to Oppose Kerry"
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