PLAIN VANILLA

Do you like vanilla? I like vanilla. At least, I thought I did. Now I'm not so sure. It seems the big vanilla boys, like Coke and Nestle and Breyers/Dreyers have switched to artificial vanilla flavourings, like "vanillin," whatever that is. (It's wood pulp.)

Know why? There was this major cyclone in Madagascar a few years ago, and it wiped out all the vanilla trees. (No word on the mocha bushes.) The price of vanilla beans jumped up like, two thousand percent, and the big boys quit buying it.

Worse, now that they've switched, they're unlikely to switch back. So, if you like vanilla, real vanilla, you're out of luck. On the bright side, this could remove the stigma of "plain vanilla," and even make white people seem exotic and well, KEWL! (Rapper Vanilla Ice will always be a butthole, though. Sorry, dude.)

BTW, vanilla, like chocolate, originally came from Central America. THANK YOU, Columbus! It was almost worth all the destruction and subjugation! Mmmm, yum-yum!

"INTERVIEW: Companies Abandon Vanilla"

"Fast Facts on Vanilla"

"Lignin and Vanillin on the Shroud of Turin, a Clue to Age"

"vanillaice.com"

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