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MORE IDIOTIC NEWS FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT

SAD, SILLY, STOOPIT STORIES FROM AROUND THE GLOBE

YOUTUBE: ANIMAL PLANET
"funny talking bird"
This bird could do talk radio, easily.



Maybe Someday, You'll Be In Here! Shudder...


YAHOO NEWS
"Parrot awarded for yelling about choking baby"
The parrot received the award with ill grace, squawking irritably, "POLLY WANTS A F**KING CRACKER!!!"

' Willie received the award Friday for his actions in November, when he and owner Megan Howard were baby-sitting a toddler. Willie repeatedly yelled "Mama, baby" when Howard went to the bathroom and the toddler started to choke on her breakfast. '

UPI
"Mystery woman identified after 14 years"
At last, they found Ellen DeGeneres' granny!

' Police say a woman found lost and disoriented 14 years ago at a Woodbridge, N.J., mall has been identified as Elba Leonor Diaz Soccarras. When found, Soccarras was well-dressed and clean but carried no identification and couldn't remember who she was or how she got to the mall. '

GUARDIAN UK
"Tata Nano: World's cheapest car is India's answer for cash-strapped drivers"
Unfortunately, the US Dollar is only worth one rupee, now.

' When the Indian industrialist Ratan Tata announced plans to produce the world's cheapest car last January, he said he hoped to fulfil a dream of bringing motoring to the Indian masses. But by the time the £1,350 Nano was launched yesterday in Mumbai, his dream had become more ambitious: to go head-to- head with the world's biggest carmakers and bring low-cost motoring to the cash-strapped masses of Europe and US. Yesterday, the group announced ambitions to challenge the gas-guzzling car culture of the west with plans to sell the Nano, which is priced in India at 100,000 rupees plus tax, to the US as well as Europe. '

THE BOSTON GLOBE
"Colbert Nation rises again"
I ASKED you b*stards to vote for ME!!!!!

' No one is more fond of his own name than Stephen Colbert. For weeks, the Comedy Central faux pundit has urged members of his “Colbert Nation” to bombard NASA’s online contest to name a new room at the international space station with…you guessed it… “Colbert.” And – of course – he won, the AP reports. NASA listed four other options, but foolishly allowed voters to write-in, leading Colbert to bury the agency’s number two suggestion – Serenity. The comedian won by more than 40,000 votes. '

COMPUTERWORLD.COM
"NASA says satellite collision, Chinese test behind flood of space debris"
Hm. Chinese junks in space.

' Jeffs pointed out that debris can litter space for decades after the break up of a rocket or satellite. For instance in January 2007, China shot down one of its own satellites as part of an antisatellite test, said Jeffs. Debris from that could easily be problematic for the space station one day, even though the satellite was destroyed two years ago. The piece of debris that forced the maneuvering of the shuttle and station yesterday was from a Chinese satellite that was launched in 1999 and broke up in 2000, NASA said. "There's just more debris up there," said Jeffs, adding that the U.S. Strategic Command is constantly tracking it. '

"Japanese astronaut tests stink-free underwear"
They're imbued with a faint scent of sashimi. Bit of a cultural thing.

' Koichi Wakata, the first Japanese astronaut to live on the International Space Station, is testing the clothes, called J-ware and created by textile experts at Japan Women's University in Tokyo. "He can wear his trunks (underwear) more than a week," said Koji Yanagawa, an official with the Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency. Wakata's clothes, developed by researcher Yoshiko Taya, are designed to kill bacteria, absorb water, insulate the body and dry quickly. They also are flame-resistant and anti-static, not to mention comfortable and stylish. '

METRO UK
"Florida student suspended for farting"
Good law.

' A teenager in America has been suspended from travelling on his school bus, after being accused of breaking wind. This is not the first, nor even the most severe, disciplinary action taken against a farting student in Florida. In November 2008, a 12-year-old boy was actually arrested by police after reportedly passing gas in the classroom. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Clorox offers $5K to wipe out SF 'toilet torcher'"
Hm. No sh*t, hunh?

' The Oakland-based chemical company deployed a "potty patrol" team in the city Friday to make residents aware of its offer marrying marketing and community service. Since November, more than two dozen construction site toilets have been set on fire in the city, causing an estimated $50,000 in property damage and leaving a trail of foul-smelling evidence. '

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