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More news of the weird, wild, wacky, wonderful and weawwy weawwy scawy. Read at your own risk. Void where prohibited. Actual mileage may vary. Not valid in combination with any other offer. No purchase necessary. Batteries not included. Light fuse, get away.


SCIENCE DAILY.COM
"Australian Dinosaur Found To Have South American Heritage"
It takes two continents to tango.

' Australia's links to South America have just gotten a bit closer, but not due to economic forces, rather fossil forces. University of Queensland palaeontologist Dr Steve Salisbury was part of an international team of palaeontologists from the US, Argentina and Australia that identified a fossil that had previously only been found in South America. Dr Salisbury, from UQ's School of Integrative Biology, said an upper arm bone found at Dinosaur Cove in southern Victoria, shares a suite of unique features with a medium-sized predatory dinosaur from Argentina called Megaraptor. He said it was the first time a dinosaur with unquestionable affinities to animals from other Southern Hemisphere continents had been recognised in Australia. "Throughout much of the Age of Dinosaurs, Australia formed part of the southern super-continent of Gondwana," Dr Salisbury said. "As a result, there has long been an expectation that our dinosaur fauna would show similarities to similarly aged faunas from adjoining Gondwanan landmasses, in particular Antarctica, New Zealand and South America. "Of the Australian dinosaurs that have been recognised so far, the consensus has been that some are relics of groups that went extinct much earlier in other parts of the world, while others have been seen as early representatives of groups that are more typical of the Northern Hemisphere. "Partly as a result, it has been proposed that Australia was somehow isolated from the rest of Gondwana, either through geographic or climatic barriers. Dr Federico Angolin, from the Argentinean Museum of Natural Sciences, said when the six palaeontologists on the research team independently recognised the close similarity between the Dinosaur Cove fossil and the remains of Megaraptor from Argentina, they knew they had an important discovery on their hands. Project leader Nate Smith, from The Field Museum in Chicago, said fossils of Megaraptor have previously only been found in central and southern Patagonia, in rocks at least 15 million years younger than those in southern Victoria "The recognition of Megaraptor in Victoria provides the first definitive evidence for interchange between the dinosaur faunas of South America and Australia during the Cretaceous," Mr Smith said. "Our results are consistent with several geological models for rifting between the southern continents during the time that these dinosaurs existed. "This discovery indicates that we might need to rethink the longstanding claims of the Northern Hemisphere affinities for many Australian dinosaurs, and of geographic and/or climatic isolation of Australian dinosaur faunas." '

SOUTHERN POVERTY LAW CENTER.ORG
"Terror from the Right"
Here's what the Republicans did NOT want you to hear, Americans. The new Civil War is already on.

' The slaughter engineered by Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, men steeped in the conspiracy theories and white-hot fury of the American radical right, marked the opening shot in a new kind of domestic political extremism — a revolutionary ideology whose practitioners do not hesitate to carry out attacks directed at entirely innocent victims, people selected essentially at random to make a political point. After Oklahoma, it was no longer sufficient for many American right-wing terrorists to strike at a target of political significance — instead, they reached for higher and higher body counts, reasoning that they had to eclipse McVeigh's attack to win attention. What follows is a detailed listing of major terrorist plots and racist rampages that have emerged from the American radical right in the years since Oklahoma City. These have included plans to bomb government buildings, banks, refineries, utilities, clinics, synagogues, mosques, memorials and bridges; to assassinate police officers, judges, politicians, civil rights figures and others; to rob banks, armored cars and other criminals; and to amass illegal machine guns, missiles, explosives and biological and chemical weapons. Each of these plots aimed to make changes in America through the use of political violence. Most contemplated the deaths of large numbers of people — in one case, as many as 30,000, or 10 times the number murdered on Sept. 11, 2001. Here are the stories of plots, conspiracies and racist rampages since 1995 — plots and violence waged against a democratic America. '

SACRAMENTO BUSINESS JOURNAL
"Web site connects consumers to free health care"
Why fight for national healthcare when you can go begging for charity? "Please, sir, can I have another chemo treatment?"

' The online resource comes as unemployment continues to rise in the region and growing numbers of local residents lose their health insurance along with their jobs. There are an estimated 250,000 people without health insurance in Sacramento County, said registered nurse Maria Robles, president of Californians for Patient Care. “Sacramento’s teachers, firefighters and state government workers are losing their jobs at an alarming rate,” Robles said in a press release. The online service provides information on how to get coverage and/or treatment at no or low cost. While the Web site is intended for consumers who need direction to services, doctors and other providers may want to use it to find out how to help an uninsured patient get access to further care. '

NY TIMES
"On Facebook, a Spy Revealed (Pale Legs, Too) "
Super Top Secret, except for a little social networking. WTBFD?

' The man in the Facebook photographs seems like your average guy having a little fun. Here he is in a festive scene at a park, gamely wearing a red fleece and a Santa Claus hat. Here he is again, playing Frisbee on the beach, clad in a pair of snug bathing trunks that show off his muscular, if pale (he is British) legs. Oops. It turns out that this is not a regular person at all. He is in fact Sir John Sawers, diplomat and spy, currently the British ambassador to the United Nations and soon to be the chief of MI6, the Secret Intelligence Service. It is as if, suddenly, the Internet were awash with pictures of the C.I.A. director, Leon E. Panetta, cavorting half-naked on vacation. The photographs, and a great deal more, came from the collection of Sir John’s wife, Shelley, who has for some time enjoyed chronicling the life and times of her family and friends on a Facebook page. Since its presence was revealed in the tabloid newspaper The Mail on Sunday, the page has been altered so that any revealing photographs it may or may not contain can no longer be seen by the general public. '

REUTERS
"U.S. Justice Dept eyeing telecom probe"
I can haz iPhone on Mobi?

' The U.S. Justice Department has begun looking at big telecom companies such as AT&T Inc (T.N) and Verizon Communications (VZ.N) to try to determine if they have abused their market power, the Wall Street Journal reported in its online edition on Monday. The report said that a probe could concern exclusive agreements between phone companies and handset makers or whether phone operators are "unduly restricting" services third parties companies can offer on their network. Lawmakers have recently raised questions about whether large wireless carriers were hurting smaller rivals by entering into exclusive agreements with the makers of popular phones. Deals like AT&T's pact with Apple Inc (AAPL.O) for exclusive rights to U.S. iPhone sales are at the center of some lawmaker concerns. The iPhone has made this trend a bone of contention among consumers because of the devices' widespread popularity and the fact that AT&T has been the sole U.S. provider selling it since 2007. Exclusivity deals often end after about a year. '

CNN
"N.C. terror suspects had arms, ammo, FBI 'playbook,' agent says"
Wonder how they got the FBI's playbook?

' Men arrested last week on suspicion of plotting a "violent jihad" overseas had weapons, thousands of rounds of ammunition and $13,000 cash in their home, an FBI agent testified in court Tuesday. Also found at the home of Daniel Patrick Boyd and his sons were gas masks and a book that FBI special agent Michael Sutton called "essentially our playbook to how we respond to acts of terrorism." On a tape made in May 2009, the elder Boyd talks about getting the money needed to wage jihad and hitting Wells Fargo trucks and banks. He makes reference to how he had robbed a bank in Pakistan. In the search of the Boyd home the FBI says agents found: • Several weapons; • 27,000 rounds of ammunition, including some armor-piercing types; • $13,000 in cash. In addition, Dylan Boyd had a deposit slip for $16,000; • Four gas masks; • A book called "Emergency Response to Terrorism," which Sutton said would be useful to someone trying to counter law enforcement; '

WASHINGTON POST
"Researchers: Social Security Numbers Can Be Guessed"
If it ain't broke, why are they fixing it?

' Researchers have found that it is possible to guess many -- if not all -- of the nine digits in an individual's Social Security number using publicly available information, a finding they say compromises the security of one of the most widely used consumer identifiers in the United States. Many numbers could be guessed at by simply knowing a person's birth data, the researchers from Carnegie Mellon University said. The results come as concern grows over identity theft and lawmakers in Washington push legislation that would bar businesses from requiring people to supply their Social Security number when purchasing a good or service. "Our work shows that Social Security numbers are compromised as authentication devices, because if they are predictable from public data, then they cannot be considered sensitive," said Alessandro Acquisti, assistant professor of information technology and public policy at Carnegie Mellon University, and a co-author of the study. A Social Security Administration spokesman said the government has long cautioned the private sector against using a Social Security number as a personal identifier, even as it insists "there is no fool proof method for predicting a person's Social Security Number." "For reasons unrelated to this report, the agency has been developing a system to randomly assign SSNs," which should make it more difficult to discover numbers in the future, Mark Lassiter, a spokesman for the Social Security Administration, said by e-mail. '

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OLD NEWS, BOLD NEWS

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NO OLD BOLD NEWS? JUST SOME CRAZY STUFF THAT HAPPENED A WHILE AGO...

OK, WE FINALLY CLEANED OUT OUR WEIRD & FUNNY NEWS LINKS FILES

But We're Passing The Savings Along To You, The Weird & Funny News Consumer. You're Welcome!

We've been out of it for a while. Health problems, financial problems, problem problems. Problems. Now we're trying to catch up. Some of this may not be news to some of you, but it all strikes us as interesting, weird, funny, sad or scary. And we're too tired to write any more. So we'll just pass this all along to you now, if that's OK. Yaaaaaawn...


OREGON LIVE.COM
"Feathered fuel tank soaks up hydrogen"
Now if they could only find a way to tell chickensh*t from chicken salad.

' The gas tank of the future may be full of chicken feathers. Engineers have discovered a way to store large amounts of hydrogen fuel using carbonized downy fluff, which could help pave the way to clean, green cars. Treated chicken feathers work like a sponge. They soak up large amounts of hydrogen and hold it in a small space so the tank can be a conventional size and the fuel won't need to held under dangerously high pressures. "The question came up," Wool said, "of what to do with the six billion pounds of waste chicken feathers" produced every year. He experimented for years with various ways to use feathers and eventually wondered if they might store hydrogen. Scientists have long known that hydrogen sticks well to carbon surfaces. Research has focused on tiny nanotubes, in which sheets of carbon are rolled into a compact space. The problem is nanotubes are expensive: A 20-gallon tank of them can cost more than $1 million. Chicken feather fibers are mostly composed of keratin, a natural protein that forms strong, hollow tubes. The breakthrough moment came when researchers heated feathers to 700 degrees, causing a process called carbonization that created billions of tiny pores. They had found an ideal place to pack large amounts of hydrogen. The new feather-based material can be produced at a small fraction of carbon nanotubes' cost. A 20-gallon feather-based tank would be about $100. '

STUFF.CO.NZ
"Eyebrows up, blowup dolls down in Undy 500"
Not sure if love-doll marriage is legal down under. The land of wonder. The land down underpants.

' Queenstowner Mark Ferguson, 42, turned heads and dropped jaws when he turned up to the underwear raceday wearing just carpet slippers and a pair of tiny white underpants which he shared with inflatable friend "Brian". Ferguson and Brian lined up against about a dozen other semi-naked guys (none of whom had inflatable sextoys in their underpants) to race a several-hundred-metre course up and down the beach in Queenstown Bay. Over hay bales, under hurdles and into the lake they went. Ferguson was knocked out in an early heat, but he was not blaming the result on the rapidly deflating Brian. "He kept me nice and warm," he said. A veteran of the first Undy 500 at Queenstown Winter Festival 1996, Ferguson instead blamed his early exit on his decision to wear carpet slippers a poor choice, he reflected, in the era of professional sport. '

USA TODAY
"New 'American Patriot's Bible' sees USA's 'godly roots' "
Further proof that God is dead. Or deaf, dumb and blind.

' "This Bible is designed for the decent, hardworking core of America, the ordinary man or woman who loves this nation and believes it springs from godly roots," says Richard G. Lee, a Southern Baptist pastor from Georgia who served as the Bible's general editor. Lee is the founding pastor of the 4,000-member First Redeemer Church in Cumming, Ga. A registered Republican who's organizing an Independence Day-themed "Restoring America" conference featuring conservatives David Limbaugh and Oliver North, Lee said he's "disappointed" when politicians "use the word of God for the purpose of vote getting." His goal was to create a "non-partisan" Bible, but he quotes Republican Ronald Reagan more times than Democrats Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Lyndon Johnson and John F. Kennedy combined. In an interview, Lee said he doesn't even know if Carter, a fellow Georgian and longtime Baptist Sunday school teacher, is a Christian. As for President Obama? "I haven't seen any patriotism from him yet." Lee sprinkles his Bible with some 300 articles about "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," the right to keep and bear arms, the war in Iraq and religious broadcasting. While some have praised the Patriot's Bible— former House Speaker Newt Gingrich called it "fascinating" — others have condemned it as something akin to theological and political heresy. "Get thee behind me, Satan," wrote "Crunchy Con" blogger Rod Dreher on Beliefnet. "To the extent that this Bible's publishers conflate serving Christ with patriotism … they are corrupt, and corrupters." Evangelical author and pastor Greg Boyd's lengthy critique, posted on Christianity Today's website, calls Lee's Bible "idolatrous," saying, "There's not a single commentary in this Bible that even attempts to shed light on what the biblical text actually means." '

BBC NEWS
"US dinosaur had Chinese cousin"
Hey, maybe we can start naming our dinosaurs after US Presidents! Republican Presidents. Reaganus Megastupidus? Tyrannus Dubyus? Crookus Nixonius? Hooverus Depressus?

' Scientists in China say they have identified the first Asian example of a group of dinosaurs previously found only in the Americas and Europe. The researchers say the specimen is closely related to the Sauroposeidon dinosaur fossils of North America and have named it Qiaowanlong kangxii after a Chinese emperor of the Qing dynasty. '

MITRE.ORG
"Every Little Thing It Does Is MAJIIC: A Technology for the Net-centric Age"
Does it bother anybody that our military boffins , or their PR people, use so many terms and references from lame TV shows? "MAJIIC," "Quantum Leap"? Really, dude? Oh, well, as long as Al Qaida doesn't have any hackers, we're safe. They don't have any hackers, right? Right?

' Members of a Special Forces Unit head toward a spot in Iraq, not knowing exactly what conditions they will find or where the moving target is. As they get closer, they call up digital maps and visuals in the transport vehicle—visuals taken in real time from surveillance sensors in the area. Even a year ago, much of this wasn't possible. Is it magic? No, it's MAJIIC, an innovative concept that's moved from prototype to nearly deployed technology with multiple sponsors in a few short years. The MAJIIC (Multi-sensor Aerospace-ground Joint ISR Interoperability Coalition) Advanced Concept Technology Demonstration, a concept MITRE helped to develop, pulls streaming data from airborne surveillance platforms, using Web-services technology to pass the information to the people who need it most. The "ISR" in MAJIIC stands for intelligence, surveillance, and reconnaissance—just the type of information a pilot or tank commander needs before or during battle. That makes MAJIIC a potentially powerful part of the growing collection of net-centric tools the military requires in the 21st century. The ideas behind network-centric operations are still relatively new, and the existence of operational net-centric technology even newer. For decades, the Department of Defense (DOD) has followed the "process-before-post" approach to handling data and images. Analysts sort and evaluate images and other types of data before sending the results back into the field—a painstaking, sometime hours- or even days-long process. By using the power of the network to send information directly to field personnel and command centers, warfighters receive what they need to know quickly and efficiently, in many cases within minutes of its collection. The military calls this method of handling information "post before process." According to MITRE's John Kane, a systems engineer and technical manager for the program, "MAJIIC works in a 'pull' environment, not a broadcast or data-push environment. Users will be able to discover these data services dynamically, even if they have never heard of MAJIIC. Users can query for ISR data within certain coordinates or topics and view the data over low bandwidth communications." All information posts and inquiries occur within a secure, secret-level environment, using enterprise-wide, Web-based tools. One Leap for a Program: Although still in its development phase, MAJIIC was demonstrated this past August at Quantum Leap 2—a high-level showcase of net-centric technology sponsored by the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Networks and Information Integration. The demonstration performed successfully and generated a lot of enthusiasm from the services, so much so that MAJIIC is scheduled to be operational in 2005. '

SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE
"Backup plan to get NASA to moon cheaper"
It's either this or a Great Wall Of Lunar China staring at us every night.

' Like a car salesman pushing a luxury vehicle that the customer no longer can afford, NASA has pulled out of its back pocket a deal for a cheaper ride to the moon. It won't be as powerful, and its design is a little dated. Think of it as a base-model Ford station wagon instead of a tricked-out Cadillac Escalade. Officially, the space agency is still on track with a 4-year-old plan to spend $35 billion to build new rockets and return astronauts to the moon in several years. However, a top NASA manager is floating a cut-rate alternative that costs around $6.6 billion. This cheaper option is not as powerful as NASA's current design with its fancy new rockets, the people-carrying Ares I and cargo-lifting Ares V. But the cut-rate plan would still get to the moon. '

FARM FOUNDATION.ORG
"What's Driving Food Prices?"
So, the price of oil and the price of corn are linked. And both are driven by speculation on the commodities markets. So, Wall Street is eating good when oil prices rise, anyway.

' Since 2006, energy and agricultural markets have become closely linked as biofuels production surged. Ethanol and biodiesel were linked as energy substitutes for gasoline and diesel, and usage of crops for these biofuels became large enough to influence world prices. In the last half of 2008, crude oil prices fell rapidly, but gasoline prices fell faster and further. Low gasoline and crude oil prices reduced the expected use of corn for ethanol which, in turn, put pressure on ethanol prices and corn prices. By the end of 2008, the ethanol industry’s economic fortunes had deteriorated such that up to two billion gallons of capacity was idled. There have been changes in the way markets are now functioning but the basic relationship between crude oil and corn remains strong. '

SOURCE
"OTHER WEIRD, FUNNY & SCARY NEWS"

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Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.

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BASS ACKWARDS HEADLINES

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DYSLEXIC VIEWS OF THE NEWS

HOW PEOPLE WITH READING DISABILITIES SEE THE DAY'S TOP STORIES

OK, It Sounded Funnier When We Told That Deaf Guy Who's Always Laughing...

Come to think of it, what the f**k is he laughing at? [Checks fly.]


GOOGLE NEWS
"Colombian swine comes down with the president flu"
We wondered why he was snorting so much.

' Colombian President Alvaro Uribe has the swine flu and officials have advised other South American leaders who met with him at a summit of the infection, authorities said Sunday. '

CQ POLITICS
"Ex-Christ Aide To Be Appointed to Florida Senate Seat"
Wow. We thought the Apostles were all dead! Or Democrats!

' Florida Gov. Charlie Crist will appoint George LeMieux, his former chief of staff, to succeed Sen. Mel Martinez after the Republican incumbent resigns his seat in early September. '

BBC
"US trailer park death toll rises "
Better them than us. How much is the toll, anyhoo? Wait, I have exact change of life!

' An eighth person has died following an attack in a mobile home in the US state of Georgia, police say. '

TIME MAGAZINE
"Amid the Nation's Fallen, Kennedy Is Laid to Rest"
They should have bought one of those things for when you need help, cuz you've fallen and you can't get up. What was Mr. Kennedy doing there? Was he sleepy, Mommy?

' A story told around Arlington National Cemetery holds that John F. Kennedy paid a visit around Veteran's Day in 1963. As he stood near the mansion that once was home to Robert E. Lee, taking in the sweeping view of the Potomac River down below and the National Mall rolling out toward the distant Capitol, he remarked, "I could stay here forever." '

LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Powerful Ideas: Mutant Polyester + Bacteria = More Biafras"
Jello?

' Brewing a certain type of biofuel with a mutant bacteria and polyester could double the fuel's production, researchers have found. '

THE WASHINGTON POST
"Obama Supporters Organize Bus Tour, Campaign-Style Events Across U.S."
Someone should tell them he won. Nah, let 'em punk themselves.

' President Obama's supporters hope to recapture the energy of last year's triumphant election campaign in a bid to regain control of the health-care debate, planning more than 2,000 house parties, rallies and town hall meetings across the country over the next two weeks. '

THE PHILADELPHIA ENQUIRER
"Mofo set to return Key to prison today"
How dat mofo got da key?

' ASHLAND, Ky. - Former State Sen. Vincent J. Fumo's new, assigned residence doesn't match the grandeur of the 27-room mansion he maintains in Philadelphia or the 100-acre farm he owns near Harrisburg. Maybe it's the razor wire. '

LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Why We Cry"
Maybe it HURTS, you stupid f**king boffin!

' A scientist now proposes a new theory for why crying evolved - tears can act as handicaps to show you have lowered your defenses. '

YAHOO TECH NEWS
"Apple denies assault & battery with exploding iPhones"
That Steve Jobs is like a NINJA!

' US technology giant Apple said Friday it had seen no evidence that overheating batteries had caused screens on some of its iPhone devices to explode, blaming incidents in France on "external force." '

REUTERS
"Dead AM DJ found apartment in New York"
Amazing. Most live people can't find one.

' DJ AM, the stage name of disc jockey Adam Goldstein whose music could be heard on albums by Madonna and Will Smith, was found dead in his New York apartment on Friday, police said. He was 36. '

REUTERS
"No Black Eyed Muslims at Malaysia concert, Please"
Sounds like discrimination against battered spouses!

' Muslims in Malaysia have been barred from attending a concert by U.S. hip hop band the Black Eyed Peas sponsored by Guinness which is owned by the world's biggest spirits group Diageo. '

BBC
"Moon mission 'terminates' India "
DIABOLICAL!!!

' India's space agency has abandoned its inaugural moon mission a day after scientists lost communication with the orbiting Chandrayaan-1 spacecraft. '

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TO POST A COMMENT: CLICK ON "COMMENTS," "Post a Comment" or "# of COMMENTS" just below the SOCIAL BOOKMARKING LINKS (Digg, Delicious, etc), about three inches down from here. Please do comment. Thank you.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR BLOGGERS:

Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!

NEWS OF BRUNO & SENILE MICE

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SHAMEFUL, CREEPY, SILLY NEWS UPDATE

RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE WHOSE BLOOD PRESSURE IS TOO LOW

The Rest Of You Click On Out Of Here Before Your Head Explodes!

We'd like to believe that we live in a sane world, guided by reason, enlightened, sorta. And then we pick up the newspaper. Every day, a new series of indictments of the whole human race. Well, not you and me, buddy! We're OK. Right? Right? Hey, put down that ax!


INVESTORS SPOT.COM
"Caffeine Reverses Alzheimer's Disease In Mice"
One tiny mocha-soy-cheese latte!

' In the first of today's reports, mice who had been bred to develop Alzheimer's-like memory problems were given caffeine in their drinking water at 18 - 19 months old (about the age of 70 in human years), for a duration of two months. Another group of Alzheimer's mice received plain drinking water. At the end of two months, mice who had received the caffeine performed 50 percent better than the plain water drinkers - in fact, they performed as well as mice their age without dementia. In addition to the improved memory and thinking skills, the caffeinated mice had nearly a 50 percent reduction in beta amyloid, the plaques that form in the brain causing Alzheimer's disease. Investigators theorized that the caffeine suppresses bacterial formations that lead to the formation of beta amyloid plaques. The second experiment was conducted as a follow-up, this time using normal mice, those that had not been engineered to get Alzheimer's disease. The mice were administered caffeine from young adulthood through old age. In this case the mice given caffeine had the same results as the mice who were not given caffeine, suggesting that caffeine cannot improve your memory or thinking skills beyond your normal abilities. '

AFP
"Zoo evacuated after chimps escape"
Apparently, they've been reading Darwin.

' A zoo was evacuated on Sunday after about 30 chimpanzees escaped from their enclosure. The animals escaped from 'Chimp Island' and found their way into a keeper area where their food is prepared, the zoo said. More than 5,000 visitors were asked to leave Chester Zoo, near Liverpool, shortly after the break-out as keepers rounded up the chimps. '

REUTERS
"Spain police foil radio control zeppelin jailbreak"
Was it a led zeppelin?

' Spanish police said on Friday they had foiled an Italian drug trafficker's plan to break out of jail in the Canary Islands using climbing equipment and a four-metre-long zeppelin. "The plan consisted of using a remotely controlled zeppelin to bring him night-vision goggles and climbing equipment with which to escape," a National Police statement said. '

E!
"No Laughing Matter: Brüno Re-sued for Emotional Damages"
Now that's REALLY tacky!

' Olson dropped her charges of assault and battery against against Cohen and NBC Universal, and is now setting her sights on the "emotional distress" the Brüno star and his film crew allegedly caused when they sent Brüno to her charity bingo tournament, according to THR, Esq. "The amendment to the original complaint does not change the cause of the injuries plead in the original complaint," Olson's attorney, Kyle Madison, told the trade. "Mrs. Olson's brain injuries were never alleged to have been derived from an assault or battery. She suffered two brain bleeds after the confrontation ensued with Mr. Baron Cohen. According to California case law, any injuries deriving from intentional infliction of emotional distress are recoverable. Mr. Baron Cohen and those associated with the production of Brüno are accountable for inflicting serious emotional distress and the resulting injuries to Mrs. Olson." '

REUTERS
"Berlin 'sex academy' offers tips for visitors"
I think I know this dummy!

' The show features several life-sized plastic models, naked and in various positions. One female mannequin light ups when touched in the right spot. A voice shrieks "That's it!" when the visitor manages to put his finger on the elusive G-spot. '

BBC NEWS
"Australia probes navy 'sex game' "
What's Australian for "Love Boat"?

' According to Channel Seven news, sailors on board HMAS Success put a cash value on each woman's head. Sleeping with a female officer or a lesbian, or having sex in a strange place, won more money, the report said. '

AFP
"Son tries to sell sexy photos of mum on Internet after row"
The family that... Oh, sh*t, I don't know.

' "He was quite naughty... I thought 'you cheeky little git'," she said. But she was also annoyed that Trade Me withdrew the second set of pictures, of which she approved. "I insisted Michael show me first, the little bugger. They are quite artistic. There is nothing dodgy about them." "I wanted 50 per cent of the sale, but more than that I miss the nice comments." '

ASBURY PARK PRESS, NJ
"Military academy head faces child porn charges"
Why is it always the religious nuts? Oh, right; they're nuts.

' Cedar Bridge Military Academy Superintendent Steven T. Baryla, 27, was taken into custody Monday after the execution of a search warrant yielded, "physical and electronic evidence,'' linking him to the possession and distribution of child pornography, according to a statement issued by Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford. Cedar Bridge is a privately-run, Christian faith-based camp for youths between the ages of 11 and 17 that advertises extracurricular military training and experiences. Based in Toms River, the camp itself is located outside of Harrisburg, Pa., and hosts two- to five-week training programs during the summer, according to the company's Web site. '

HOMELESS CHILDREN AMERICA.ORG
"It is unacceptable for one child in the United States to be homeless for even one day."
At long last, America, have you no shame?

' The year 2008 will long be remembered by Americans as a time when grossly overpaid bankers, captains of industry, and carmakers hobbled to Washington, hats in hand, begging for bailouts and infusions of billions of dollars. Ignored by members of Congress and the media were scores of children – many still infants and toddlers – who were homeless in the midst of this economic turmoil. Without a voice, more than 1.5 million of our nation’s children go to sleep without a home each year. Homeless, these children also endure a lack of safety, comfort, privacy, reassuring routines, adequate health care, uninterrupted schooling, sustaining relationships, and a sense of community. These factors combine to create a life-altering experience that inflicts profound and lasting scars. '

YAHOO NEWS
"New GI benefits vary widely by state"
Penalizing Iraq War Veterans and States that subsidize higher education: Your tax dollars at work.

' Veterans who choose a private school in Texas could get close to $20,000 a semester from the government for a typical course load. Those picking schools in California will get nothing for tuition. The explanation stems from the formula the government created, as well as a much-criticized decision by the Department of Veterans Affairs on how to implement the law. The new GI Bill covers full in-state undergraduate tuition and fees at any public college. That's far more generous than the old GI Bill, which provides a monthly stipend that is the same from state to state. But Congress also wanted to help veterans attend often pricier private schools. So the new bill offers them an amount equal to the tuition at the most expensive public college in the same state. That penalizes veterans going to private colleges in states that have kept their public university tuition low. As a result, the new GI Bill is a great deal for such vets in states like New Hampshire, New York and Texas; a pretty good one in states like Ohio; and hardly any deal at all in Massachusetts and especially California, where the state constitution prohibits public universities from charging tuition. Instead, California's public universities typically charge "fees" of several thousand dollars per year. Critics argue the Department of Veterans Affairs misinterpreted the law and should have combined tuition and fees in coming up with reimbursement levels. That would have put the total California benefit at around $13,000 per year. '

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NEWS TO AMUSE

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WEIRD SCENES FROM OUTSIDE THE GOLD MINE



BULLS & BEARS, VEGGIES & DINOSAURS, COPS & ROBBERS, ROBOTS & ARRANGED MARRIAGES

A Wide Assortment Of Absurd Current Events This Week. Enjoy.

The worst thing about human society is the people. Without the people, humanity would be great. What a society we could all have if only there were none of us. Fortunately, science and industry, diplomats and the military are working on that. Thanks to their efforts, someday, Gawd willing, it will be nice and quiet on this planet. We only hope we live to hear it. See you then!


GOOGLE NEWS
"1 dead at Pamplona; first goring death since '95"
Cappuccino kills!

' A charging bull gored a young man to death Friday at Pamplona's San Fermin festival, the first such fatality in nearly 15 years. Nine others were injured in a particularly dangerous and chaotic chapter of the running of the bulls. The last fatal goring at the running of the bulls claimed the life of 22-year-old American Matthew Tassio in 1995. In 2003, a 63-year-old Spanish man, Fermin Etxeberri, was trampled in the head by a bull and died after spending months in a coma. Friday's death raises to 15 the toll since record-keeping began in 1924. A brown, 1,130-pound (515-kilogram) bull named Cappuccino fell early in the run and ended up on its own. Cappuccino is the bull behind Friday's fatality, although this happened in a slightly earlier stretch of the route, said one of the herders, Humberto Miguel. '

REUTERS
"Oldest U.S. mounted police unit gets budget axe"
Buried the lede! "Police officers sent to glue factory."

' But after 150 years, police officials said they need to eliminate the mounted unit, a move city officials estimate will save some $700,000 (422,500 pounds) for a city budget that has been strained by a 19-month long U.S. recession that has hammered tax revenue. '

REUTERS
"Australia discovers 3 new large dinosaurs"
Throw another Carpopenaeus on the barbie, mate!

' Fossils of three new species of dinosaurs have been discovered in Australia, including a meat-eater larger than Velociraptor from the Jurassic Park movies, suggesting Australia may have a more complex prehistoric past. The two plant-eating and one carnivore dinosaurs, the first large dinosaurs unearthed since 1981, were found in Queensland and date back 98 million years to the mid-Cretaceous period. "It not only presents us with two new amazing long-necked giants of the ancient Australian continent, but also announces our first really big predator," paleontologist John Long, head of sciences at Museum Victoria said on Friday. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Plant disease hits eastern US veggies early, hard"
No wonder the killer tomatoes attacked us! They think we're responsible for this!

' Meg McGrath, professor of plant pathology at Cornell University, calls late blight "worse than the Bubonic Plague for plants." "People need to realize this is probably one of the worst diseases we have in the vegetable world," she said. "It's certain death for a tomato plant." '

INFORMATION WEEK
"Toyota Develops Mind-Controlled Wheelchair "
They couldn't have started with maybe a snack-cart prototype? Can't wait to see the love dolls.

' The system enables a person to make a wheelchair turn left or right to move forward simply by thinking the commands. The response time is in 125 milliseconds. One millisecond is equal to 1/1000 of a second. The BTCC's system uses several sensors placed over the areas of the brain that control motion to measure electrical activity in the region. The electical impulses triggered by the rider thinking of turning or moving the wheelchair are picked up and analyzed by an onboard laptop that passes the commands on to the wheelchair. The system has an emergency stop that can be activated by the user puffing his cheeks. In the future, the BMI technology is expected to be applied to other types of brain waves that generate various mental states and emotions, the BTCC said. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Sears Tower unveils 103rd floor glass balconies"
I'd be afraid that if I coughed one or both of my nuts would pop out of my mouth on that balcony.

' The balconies are suspended 1,353 feet in the air and jut out four feet from the building's 103rd floor Skydeck. Their transparent walls, floor and ceiling leave visitors with the impression they're floating over the city. "It's like walking on ice," said Margaret Kemp, of Bishop, Calif., who said her heart was still pounding even after stepping away from the balcony. "That first step you take — 'am I going down?'" Kemp was among the visitors who got a sneak preview of the balconies Wednesday. "The Ledge," as the balconies have been nicknamed, open to the public Thursday. Visitors are treated to unobstructed views of Chicago from the building's west side and a heart-stopping vista of the street and Chicago River below — for those brave enough to look straight down. '

NPR NEWS
"Revolutionary War Museum Surrenders"
It was the "Joey Buttafuocco's Ye Olde Sunshine Patriot Taverne: Authentic Colonial Cheese Steaks" right on the battlefield next to the museum that did it. Waiters with their feet wrapped in rags. Tacky.

' A final Revolutionary War battle has come to an end. Plans for a $200 million museum complex inside Valley Forge National Historical Park — where George Washington's army once camped — have been scrapped. After vocal opposition and legal challenges, the planned American Revolution Center will now be built about 25 miles away, in the heart of Philadelphia. '

LA TIMES
"No Michael Jackson resolution in Congress"
Your tax dollars at work. Or not.

' Pelosi said she did not think it was necessary for Congress to have a resolution to honor Jackson. "What I have said to my colleagues over the years . . . is that there is opportunity on the floor of the House to express their sympathy or their praise any time that they wish," she said. "A resolution, I think, would open up to contrary views that are not necessary at this time." Rep. Barbara Lee (D-Oakland), chairwoman of the Congressional Black Caucus, declined to comment Thursday on Pelosi's decision. The resolution was sponsored by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas), who attended the Jackson memorial service in Los Angeles on Tuesday. The resolution called for honoring Jackson as a "global humanitarian and a noted leader in the fight against worldwide hunger and medical crises" and celebrating him as an "accomplished contributor to the worlds of arts and entertainment." Some lawmakers have paid tribute to Jackson from the House floor. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Judge blocks publication of Salinger spinoff book"
Phony bastards!

' U.S. District Judge Deborah Batts issued her written ruling in Manhattan after considering arguments in a lawsuit brought by the 90-year-old reclusive author against the publishers of "60 Years Later: Coming Through the Rye." Batts said Swedish author Fredrik Colting had "taken well more from `Catcher,' in both substance and style, than is necessary for the alleged transformative purpose of criticizing Salinger and his attitudes and behavior." She said Colting's claim that he also wrote the book to critically examine Salinger's most famous character, Holden Caulfield, was "problematic and lacking in credibility." She also rejected arguments that the depiction of a character in Colting's book to represent Caulfield 60 years later was a parody. She said in a footnote that Colting and his publishers made no indication before the lawsuit was filed that the book was meant as a parody or critique of Salinger's work. '

REUTERS
"Medici lawyer says Kohn didn't get Madoff payments"
If you think their artists are great, wait till you see their attorneys!

' Investors are suing Medici in Austria and the United States. Some of the lawsuits contend that Kohn was implicated in Madoff's scheme or that she should have grown suspicious of his steady performance and should have warned investors. '

THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR
"British warning: Summer is forced marriage season"
There's still time to register at Chattel.com.

' Seventeen years old, she had already refused to marry her first cousin two years earlier – an act of defiance that resulted in her being withdrawn from school by her parents. "I couldn't believe they had brought me from Birmingham to Pakistan on such a huge lie," she says. "It crushed me." That was more than decade ago, but government figures released today suggest the true scale of Britain's forced-marriage problem is only now beginning to emerge. It is estimated that between 5,000 and 8,000 cases of forced marriage occurred in Britain last year, according to the Department for Children, Schools, and Families. Most are teenage girls from Britain's large Pakistani, Bangladeshi, and Indian communities. They're married off, according to the report, to bond the young women to their community, keep clan promises, or as a way to provide a British visa for a foreign family member or friend. The figures have delivered a fresh jolt to Britain's multicultural paradigm, which until recently handled reports of forced marriage and associated "honor crimes" as cultural issues, beyond the remit of the justice system '

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FUNNY, SCARY, WEIRD NEWS TODAY

.
SHARKS, VOLCANOS & COOKIES ARE COMING TO GET YOU

"Sarychev Peak on Matua Island"

YOU CAN'T RUN AND YOU CAN'T HIDE

We Gots Dem Ol' Pyroclastic Flow Blues

Ah, nobody lives forever. If the Tylenol don't getchya, the swinebird flu will. So go enjoy a quick hookup, before the little pink elephants come back. Hic.


LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Amazing Volcano Photo Reveals Shock Wave"
Mother Nature having a smoke.

' The main plume appears to be a combination of brown ash and white steam, according to a NASA statement. The vigorously rising plume gives the steam a bubble-like appearance. The surrounding atmosphere has been shoved up by the shock wave of the eruption, scientists said. Volcano plumes are so chaotic that they produce lightning, as revealed in pictures for the first time earlier this year. The smooth white cloud on top may be water condensation that resulted from rapid rising and cooling of the air mass above the ash column. This cloud is probably a transient feature, scientists say, with the eruption plume is starting to punch through. The cloud casts a dark shadow to the northwest of the island. '

NPR
"Sex Without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships"
News Flash: It's always been like this. Young people screw around, until they are too fat, old & ugly to get laid. Then they start with the weird fantasies about how much sex other, younger people are having. Except it's never quite that easy or that plentiful. It's called human nature. Report that.

' Young people during one of the most sexually active periods of their lives aren't necessarily looking for a mate. What used to be a mate-seeking ritual has shifted to hookups: sexual encounters with no strings attached. "The idea used to be you are going to date someone that is going to lead to something sexual happening," Bogle says. "In the hookup era, something sexual happens, even though it may be less than sexual intercourse, that may or may not ever lead to dating." '

LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Pets Pass Superbug to Humans"
It's not just fleas any more.

' "As community-acquired strains of MRSA increase in prevalence, a growing body of clinical evidence has documented MRSA colonization in domestic animals, often implying direct acquisition of S aureus infection from their human owners," they write. "MRSA colonization has been documented in companion animals such as horses, dogs, and cats, and these animals have been viewed as potential reservoirs of infection." '

YAHOO NEWS
"Great white sharks hunt just like Hannibal Lecter"
Fortunately, Clarisse Starling is on to them

' Great white sharks have some things in common with human serial killers, a new study says: They don't attack at random, but stalk specific victims, lurking out of sight. The sharks had a distinct M.O. They were focused. They stalked from a usual base of operations, 100 yards from their victims. It was close enough to see their prey, but not close enough to be seen and scare off their victims. They attacked when the lights were low. They liked their victims young and alone. They tried to attack when no other sharks were around to compete. They learned from previous kills. And they attacked from below, unseen. '

LIVE SCIENCE.com
"Oldest Elephant Relative Found"
In case you were wondering what ever happened to Roseanne Barr... And this is why braces are important, kids:

' The animal's relation to elephants was determined via analysis of the specimen's teeth and skull. While it lacked a trunk, the animal had an enlarged first incisor, which researcher Emmanuel Gheerbrant of the National Museum of Natural History in Paris, France, says represents a primitive tusk. It was much smaller than the tusks of today's elephants. '

THE WASHINGTON POST
"Among Many Peoples, Little Genomic Variety"
And in Ireland, we have the Guinness gene.

' Among West Africans, a chance mutation in the blood protein hemoglobin turned out to partially protect against malaria. It rapidly became common in places where malaria was a huge threat to survival. Similarly, a mutation allowing adults to digest milk became valuable when Middle Easterners and Europeans domesticated cattle. About 90 percent of Scandinavians now carry it. '

REUTERS
"Nestle recalls Toll House cookie dough after E. coli warning"
Mmmmm! Chocolate sh*t cookies! Try the chocolate sh*t mint cookies. Better for your breath.

' Nestle's U.S. baking division said on Friday that it was voluntarily recalling its Toll House refrigerated cookie dough products after the U.S. Food and Drug Administration warned of the risk of contamination with E. coli bacteria. Nestle said the FDA and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention were investigating reports of illnesses caused by E. coli O157:H7 in consumers who also reported having eaten raw cookie dough. E. coli can cause abdominal cramping, vomiting and diarrhea, the FDA said. '

REUTERS
"Will two flus mix in Indonesia? Experts worry"
Or in "developed" countries without universal single-payer national healthcare.

' Ben Cowling, public health expert at the University of Hong Kong, said people with serious infections who would be admitted to hospitals in developed countries and survive might die in poorer countries. '

REUTERS
"Drug cos at odds with FDA over acetaminophen risk"
Oh, thank Gawd! I thought the number one cause of acute liver failure was Bud Lite.

' Estimates vary, but a 2007 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report found acetaminophen use was the most common cause of the estimated 1,600 cases of acute liver failure that year, the FDA said. Alcohol use and liver disease can also increase a consumer's risk, experts say. '

YAHOO NEWS
"States could lose money over prison rapes"
Oh, NO! The State might lose money! Look for the infomercial & the DVD: "Guards Gone Wild!"

' Inmates who are short, young, gay, or female were more likely to be victimized than other inmates. Even when inmates are willing to report abuse, their accounts are not always taken seriously and reported to appropriate officials. In a 2007 study, the Bureau of Justice Statistics found that more than 60,000 inmates are sexually abused every year. The study found that 4.5 percent of those surveyed reported being sexually abused in the previous 12 months. That study also said more prisoners reported abuse by staff than by other prisoners: 2.9 percent to about 2 percent, respectively. The commission's report recommended that prison authorities adopt more internal monitoring, such as video cameras, as well as external oversight by review boards. '

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Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.

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NEWS, NOUVELLES, NOTICIAS, NACHRICHTEN

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OF THE WORLD, DU MONDE, DEL MUNDO, DER WELT

YOUTUBE: KAGUYA
"Earthrise, Earthset"
Look! There's you!


WEIRD TALES AND STOOOOOPIT STUFFS FROM AROUND THE PLANET

Why Watch FuxSnooze When You Can Get The Nitty-Gritty Direct From Every Foreign City?

As the big self-important newspapers and television networks die out for lack of an audience, there is still plenty of business going on between millions of news-junkies and all those little flat-footed beat reporters in every little town and big city neighborhood on Earth. Get some coffee, maybe a doughnut and check out the latest sense and nonsense from the rest of humanity. And save me a chocolate coconut.


TIME MAGAZINE
"Coming to an Ex-U.S. Car Dealer Near You: Pickups From India"
The race to the bottom is over. We won!

' Dramatically weakened by recession, U.S. automakers in the next few years are likely to be challenged on their home turf by car manufacturers from the developing world. But, while the Chinese were expected to be the first to land in North America, it now looks like India will beat China to the U.S. market - and not with cars, but with light trucks. But U.S. consumers have in the past shunned diesel-powered vehicles, and it's unclear whether the Mahindra trucks, which will be manufactured in India, will have a clear advantage when it comes to sticker price. Mahindra says the price, which analysts expect to be around $20,000, will be divulged closer to the December launch date. Perez says the trucks "will not be cheap, but will be reasonably priced." Competitors have base models starting at around $15,000. "Mahindra will have to tread the thin line between cheap and value," says Mohit Arora, J.D. Power's senior director for India. "Too cheap will affect quality perceptions, while a higher price will alienate buyers." (See pictures of the world’s cheapest car.) Mahindra will also have to contend with skepticism surrounding the made-in-India tag. Indian companies are recognized by Americans for outsourcing and call centers, not for manufacturing prowess. The most famous Indian manufacturer today may be Tata Motors, which garnered international recognition earlier this year when it launched its $2,000 minicar, the Nano. Tata plans to start selling the Nano in the U.S. in 2011. To create brand awareness for its pickups and SUVs, Mahindra is expected to spend around $20 million on Internet and print advertising leading up to the trucks' debut. The vehicles will be imported from India; the company has no immediate plans to build pickups in the U.S. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Okla. paramedic wants trooper's gun and badge"
Super trooper?

' Martin stopped the ambulance May 24 for failing to yield. White says he got out of the ambulance to tell the trooper they were taking a patient to the hospital. The argument quickly escalated into a scuffle and Martin put White in a choke hold. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Oregon woman obsessed with rabbits arrested again"
Silly trick! Rabbits are for kids!

' Problems for Sakewitz started in October 2006 when police in Hillsboro, about 15 miles west of Portland, found and confiscated nearly 250 rabbits in her home, including about 100 dead ones in freezers and refrigerators. Police said she broke into the facility where the survivors were being cared for in January 2007 and stole most of them back. Authorities found her a few days later in Chehalis, Wash., with eight live rabbits and two dead ones in her car. Another 130 rabbits were recovered at a nearby horse farm. '

YAHOO NEWS
"NY man charged with impersonating dead mother"
The funny thing is, he's not a psycho.

' Authorities claim that following his arrest, Parkin told them that because he held Prusik when she breathed her last breath, "I am my mother." Parkin, who lived with his mother, was accused of hatching the scheme after she passed away in 2003 at age 73. He managed to conceal the death by falsifying her death certificate, then collected $52,000 from her $700-a-month Social Security checks over the next six years, prosecutors said. Authorities say Parkin also got another $65,000 in rent subsidies by falsely claiming he had a disability and that his mother was still alive and was his landlord. Parkin used his friend Rimolo to pose as the mother's nephew when going to cash checks and do other business, prosecutors said. A security camera photo from the DMV office shows a frail-looking Parkin in a wig and dark glasses, Rimolo by his side, as he fills out paperwork. The ruse began to unravel amid a dispute over the mother's home, which was sold at foreclosure in 2003. Parkin challenged the purchase by suing the new owner on his mother's behalf so he wouldn't be evicted. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Police: Man attacked in Okla. for bologna sandwich"
I dunno. Sounds like baloney to me. I could kill for a good pastrami sandwich, though...

' A man in Oklahoma City said he was attacked for his bologna and cheese sandwich. Police say 24-year-old Roger Hamilton told them he was sitting on a bus station bench Wednesday, about to put mayonnaise on his sandwich, when another man began staring at him. Hamilton told police that the man then punched him in the mouth and grabbed his sandwich and left. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Dead pilot's wife: He was in 'perfect health'"
Please fasten your seat belts. We are now headed into... the Twilight Zone.

' The Continental Airlines pilot who died on a trans-Atlantic flight from Brussels to Newark was in "perfect health" and fellow crew members initially thought he had just fallen asleep, his wife told a Houston television station. '

REUTERS
"U.S. SEC says "dark pools" are emerging risk to market"
Where the big fish feed.

' Dark pools, where orders are anonymously matched so that traders do not alert the wider market to their intentions, have triggered concerns that stock pricing may not be transparent and that a privileged few are benefiting. The lack of post-trade transparency makes it difficult for the public to assess dark pool trading and to identify pools that are most active in particular stocks. "This ... has the potential to undermine public confidence in the equity markets, particularly if the volume of trading activity in dark pools increases substantially," SEC Chairman Mary Schapiro said in remarks prepared for delivery to the New York Financial Writers Association. "The lack of reliable information can prompt speculation and suspicion about the basis for market fluctuations," she said. Dark pools, she said, are among the emerging risks to investors and markets that the SEC is focusing on. '

AFP
"US Senate votes formal apology for slavery"
Fingers crossed.

' In a step that has angered some African-American lawmakers, the measure takes pains not to fuel the push for the US government to pay reparations to the descendants of African slaves. "Nothing in this resolution (a) authorizes or supports any claim against the United States; or (b) serves as a settlement of any claim against the United States," it says. '

LA TIMES
"NASA launches mission to explore the moon"
TAKE ME!!!

' NASA took the first concrete step toward returning human beings to the moon Thursday, successfully launching the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter on a mission to find the best place to land and build Earth's first off-world colony. '

NPR
"More Families Pull The Plug On Their Home Phone"
Do not ask for whom the bell tolls...

' The concept of a home phone may soon be going the way of the corner pay phone. Government research shows that more and more households are getting rid of their land line. And for the first time, cell-phone-only homes outnumber those with just land lines. '

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Suggestion Box & Tip Jar We would like to make over this blog to make it easier to access, to read and to comment on. We would also like to serve our readers better by providing more of what you need and want to see. All serious suggestions will be considered. We hope to move to our own domain in the near future, and we would like to ask for your financial assistance in doing that, and in upgrading our hardware & software. Small one-time donations and larger long-term subscriptions are welcome. Exclusive advertising is also available. If you think we are wasting our time in doing all this, please let us know. If you wish to help us, now is the time. As always, negative bullsh*t from right-wing trolls will be sh*tcanned. Thank you to everyone else. Please send feedback & PayPal contributions to cosanostradamusATexciteDOTcom. Thanks.

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!

HA-HA AND NOT HA-HA FUNNY NEWS

.
GERMS & JOBS & OTHER PURSUITS

YOUTUBE: MEL BROOKS & CARL REINER
"Mel Brooks: the 2000 year old man pt. 1"
First, a little history. It couldn't hurt.


WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR TIME RUNS OUT

Some Days, The Germ Gets You; Some Days, You Get The Germ

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Or, a Scotch. Could be a Long Island Iced Tea, even. So, pour yourself a drink and enjoy the rest of your life. Or sit there stone cold sober cleaning your weapons. It's a free country. Feh!

LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Microbe Wakes Up After 120,000 Years"
First words: "OY! Vhat a TASTE I got in my MOUTH!!!" ...Wait, how do we know these are NOT extraterrestrial?

' After more than 120,000 years trapped beneath a block of ice in Greenland, a tiny microbe has awoken. The long-lasting bacteria may hold clues to what life forms might exist on other planets. The new bacteria species was found nearly 2 miles (3 km) beneath a Greenland glacier, where temperatures can dip well below freezing, pressure soars, and food and oxygen are scarce. The harsh conditions endured by these microbes serve as models of other planets. "These extremely cold environments are the best analogues of possible extraterrestrial habitats," Loveland-Curtze said, referring to the Greenland glacier. "The exceptionally low temperatures can preserve cells and nucleic acids for even millions of years." And studying such microorganisms may provide insight into what sorts of life forms could survive elsewhere in the solar system. '

LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Dream Deferred: Americans May Never Retire"
Aaah! The Good Old Days! Work till you drop dead! Thanks, Republicans & DINO's!

' Retirement is a relatively new concept in the United States. It arose only in the late 19th century and early 20th century. Until then, people worked until they were physically unable to continue, and then their communities supported them. Around the turn of the last century, some big employer-supported pensions started up, but with the Depression, it was clear that businesses couldn't be counted on to support retirees during economic bad times. So social security was initiated by President Franklin D. Roosevelt in the mid-1930s as a government solution. Nowadays, workers hang on like a dog to a bone to the concept of retirement. Meanwhile, each of the three legs of the retirement stool - pensions and/or 401(k)s, social security and personal savings - are getting wobbly. In fact, the only true security for a retiree today is their own savings and investments, Dinkin said. Neither the government nor corporate pensions can be relied upon as the foundation of a stable retirement, he adds. The retirement plans of many Americans went out the window in the past year due to the economic downturn, a new survey finds. A lot of folks now are looking at Plan B, and Plan B means working more and working later in life. It's not unlike what our great-great grandparents planned for, back before the concept of retirement came into vogue. However, working beyond age 65 doesn't have to be dismal, experts say, especially if you change your expectations and push yourself to pursue work in a field that you love. Just keep working '

TIME MAGAZINE
"No Ocean, But Chicago Moves to Legalize Surfing"
Deep-dish luau's are also legal, now. So, nu, maybe the old folks could get work as beach boys, now?

' Midwestern surfers prefer Labor Day through Memorial Day, particularly November onward, when the waves are especially choppy. The water, experts say, is warmer than the air's temperature, and creates an "unstable boundary layer" near the water's surface - hence more waves. Waves during a storm may reach 20 feet, and appear roughly every six to eight seconds. How do they compare to the surf in Hawaii and California? Pacific waves tend to be stronger, and longer, than those in the Midwest because they gain momentum having crossed thousands of miles from Asia. They may be twice as tall, and appear every 10 to 12 seconds during a storm. Those differences, however, don't matter much to Midwestern surfers. Last December, Vince Deur, co-chair of the Surfrider Foundation's chapter here, took a group of friends to the southern shore of Lake Michigan. The air temperature was about 25 degrees. A winter storm covered much of the lake, sending fierce winds from the north to create waves nearly two feet above Deur's head. "The waves," he recalls, "had some nice shape and power. But look," he continues, "we know that in the world of great surfing, as far as quality goes, we're at the bottom. We're in it for the fun." Anticipating the arrival of surfing on Lake Michigan, Deur said Wednesday, "We understand and respect the city's small step approach to opening these beaches. And we consider this a victory." '

YAHOO NEWS
"Ohioans ticketed for parking in own driveways"
Finkbeiner! You're FIRED!!! And forget about a PENSION!!!

' Residents of Toledo, Ohio, are complaining that they received $25 tickets for parking their vehicles in their own driveways. Mayor Carty Finkbeiner (FINK'-by-ner) says he stands by the citations handed out last week by the Division of Streets, Bridges and Harbor. He says the tickets were issued under a city law against parking on unpaved surfaces, including gravel driveways. During a news conference Monday, Finkbeiner ignored a reporter's question of whether the crackdown and fines were related to the city's budget crisis. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Ohio teen who killed over video game gets 23 years"
Sounds like father and son lived in a world of fantasy. But the son's fantasies involved premeditated murder and a double cover-up. Well, it half worked. GAME OVER! (Mom won't have to work, now.)

' Petric was convicted of shooting his parents in October 2007 after they took the game "Halo 3" away from him. The judge, who heard the case without a jury, said at the time of the verdict that the teen was so obsessed over a video game that he may have believed that, like the characters in the game, death wasn't real. The defense claimed his age and addiction to the game made him less responsible. In the video game "Halo 3," players shoot alien monsters that have taken over the Earth. Mark Petric, who has forgiven his son, said he had followed his son's request that his father's congregation be told about his sorrow over the crimes. "He is sorry for causing everyone so much terrible pain," said the father, a minister at New Life Assembly of God in Wellington. At the trial, Mark Petric testified that his son came into the room and asked his parents: "Would you guys close your eyes? I have a surprise for you." The father testified that he expected a pleasant surprise. Then his head went numb from a gunshot. His wife, Susan, 43, died of a gunshot wound to the head. The prosecution said Daniel Petric then tried to make the shootings look like a murder and attempted suicide. He shoved the gun into his father's hand and said, "Hey Dad, here's your gun. Take it," Mark Petric testified. '

REUTERS
"American arrives in Germany with mini arsenal"
"Say whut? No guns allowed in Hitler's birthplace???!!!" "Hitler vas born in Austria, Mein Herr." "Ah'm in AUSTRALIA!!!???" Wonder what job he was on? Or what drug?

' German police stopped an American at Duesseldorf airport on Friday for carrying a pumpgun, two pistols and a combat knife in his luggage. The 38-year-old man, en route to Switzerland from Florida, said he was not aware European security regulations required him to have special permission to transport the weapons. Police found a .12 calibre pumpgun, a .357 magnum revolver, a Smith & Wesson "Long Rifle" and a combat knife. The man told police he had alerted the airline that he would be carrying the weapons and was not aware he needed further permits. The police confiscated the weapons and fined him 450 euros ($633.1) before releasing him. A police spokesman said they were investigating how the man managed to get the weapons through security checks in the United States. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Sex selling for less amid economic downturn"
Good news for F**kMart, BJMart, CostBlo, JohnsClub and all their thrifty shoppers. I suspect the "girls" are Grannies who couldn't afford to retire. Or, maybe they just got bored, sittin' on it. Or, maybe it's a labor of love...

' Prostitution is legal in Germany, with the same rights and benefits as other professions, such as health and unemployment insurance. There are about 450,000 prostitutes nationwide, according to 2008 numbers, with 10,000 in Berlin. Streetwalkers like those in the Hackescher Markt make up only about 3 percent, with the remaining 97 percent working in brothels, massage parlors or out of private residences. Though the demand for prostitutes' services remains strong, the supply has increased as more people lose their jobs and turn to the profession, said Marion Detlefs, of the German prostitution advocacy group Hydra. The result is increased competition, she said. In response, clubs and brothels are increasingly marketing themselves either as high-class, exclusive spas, or as bargain basements of delight. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Calif.: Site broke labor law by taping octuplets"
I thought the Octomom herself violated labor laws, by having all those kids. --Not a job for Grannies.

' California authorities slapped an online site Tuesday with four child-labor law violations for videotaping two of Nadya Suleman's octuplets without safeguards to protect their health and welfare. State Labor Commissioner Angela Bradstreet said RadarOnline endangered the newborns, Noah and Isaiah Suleman, by failing to get required state permits, videotaping the infants at hours and for periods of time banned by regulations, and for failing to provide a monitor to watch over them during taping sessions. '

THE REGISTER.COM
"Microsoft sues family over alleged click fraud"
Digital Ma Barker! There's a job for Granny!

' Microsoft has filed its first-ever lawsuit over click fraud, seeking $750,000 in damages from a Canada-based trio who allegedly orchestrated a massive online scam via its pay-per-click search ads. "Microsoft’s Internet Safety Enforcement team has a long history in enforcement efforts on issues such as malicious code distribution, spam, scareware, child protection, and other Internet safety issues, but this is the first case we have filed with respect to click fraud," a company spokeswoman tells The Reg. Microsoft filed its civil complaint in a Seattle-based federal court on Monday, The New York Times reports, after investigating the matter for more than a year. The complaint names three individuals believed to be residents of Vancouver, British Columbia; various company monikers they may have used; and fifty John Does. Microsoft believes that the trio - Melanie Suen, Eric Lam, and Gordon Lam - are a mother and her two sons. '

YAHOO NEWS
"FDA says Zicam nasal spray can cause loss of smell"
It's being rebranded as a homeopathic deodorant. You'll never need to bathe again. Just spray it in other people's faces. --Hey, that could be a job!

' Consumers should stop using Zicam Cold Remedy nasal gel and related products because they can permanently damage the sense of smell, federal health regulators said Tuesday. The over-the-counter products contain zinc, an ingredient scientists say may damage nerves in the nose needed for smell. The other products affected by the Food and Drug Administration's announcement are adult and kid-size Zicam Cold Remedy Nasal Swabs. "Loss of the sense of smell is potentially life threatening and may be permanent," said Dr. Charles Lee, of FDA's compliance division. "People without the sense of smell may not be able to detect dangerous life situations, such as gas leaks or something burning in the house." The FDA said Zicam Cold Remedy was never formally approved because it is part of a small group of remedies that are not required to undergo federal review before launching. Known as homeopathic products, the formulations often contain herbs, minerals and flowers. '

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UNNATURAL NATURE NEWS

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CREATURE FEATURES OF A DISTURBING VARIETY

DON'T GO OUTSIDE THERE'S RATS & BATS & BUGS & STUFF

Oh, yeah, and SNAKES!!!

Scary Monsters All Around

Today we learned that however nasty our houses and apartments are, the great outdoors is even worse. That's why we keep it outside. So, just don't go out there, and you'll be fine. Unless they come inside.


ULSTER STAR
"LISBURN MEN FIND GIANT SNAKE IN THE AMAZON"
This snake eats Volkswagons! With the top down!!!

' A leviathan of the jungle, which reports say reaches 40 metres [120 feet] in length and two metres [6 feet] in diameter, it dwarfs any snake known to science. This anaconda is not green but dark brown and is known by the locals as the 'black boa' or 'Yacumama'. "Yacumama is translated as Mother of the Water and reports of this giant snake abound throughout the Amazon basin and history." Mike, who is partially sighted, has spent 23 years researching the beast but it was only six months ago when his son discovered his research documents and they decided to take part in the incredble journey. Cryptozooologist Mike of Hillhall spent his life savings setting up the expedition with Greg to find out more about the snake, which reports say can engorge water then shoot a monkey out of a tree like a water canon. "The data is immense and will take months to fully appreciate but already it supports our theories of 'channels' created by these giants as they make their way through the dense jungle knocking down trees 90 feet tall, but more importantly we managed to catch one of these reclusive giants on camera as it made its way through one of its watery channels." There was an amazing postscript to their trip when an anaconda, believed to be the one they located in March, is thought to have been responsbile for smashing the house of an elderly couple in a small village in Peru earlier this week. '

THE BALTIMORE SUN
"Science sheds light on Baltimore rats"
Now if they could only do something about those DC rats.

' "Most rats are like people in Baltimore," said Glass, who after 25 years in the city has had occasion to observe both. "They marry someone next door or down the block at most, and are happy to live in the neighborhood they grew up in." '

NY TIMES
"A Human Language Gene Changes the Sound of Mouse Squeaks"
Won't this confuse the bats?

' People have a deep desire to communicate with animals, as is evident from the way they converse with their dogs, enjoy myths about talking animals or devote lifetimes to teaching chimpanzees how to speak. A delicate, if tiny, step has now been taken toward the real thing: the creation of a mouse with a human gene for language. '

LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Bats Recognize Individual Voices"
Good news, bat news.

' Scientists have not known how bats recognize their buddies, in order to stay together, and also avoid creating interference between their echolocation calls. The screech of a bat is louder than a rock concert. A study last year found that bats actually shut their traps for microseconds so they can hear the leader and take direction. Now researchers say greater mouse-eared bats can recognize individual bat voices. '

MCCLATCHY
"Deadly bat disease spreading fast, scientists warn lawmakers"
More bat news, same bat channel.

' "Never in my wildest imagination would I have dreamed of anything that could pose this serious a threat to America's bats," Merlin Tuttle , a biologist with Bat Conservation International who's studied the creatures for 50 years, told two House of Representatives subcommittees. He called the bat-killing disease, which could threaten eight species with extinction, "the most serious threat to American wildlife in the past century." According to the Agriculture Department , bats eat pests that otherwise would cost farmers up to $1 billion a year in damages. The disease, called "white-nose syndrome," makes bats awaken from hibernation prematurely and leave their caves. Freezing, unable to find insects to eat, they fall from the sky and die. About 95 percent of infected bats perish, and the disease appears to spread from bat to bat, infecting entire caves, officials said. The main clue to their deaths is fungus-encrusted noses and wings. Whether the fungus causes their deaths or is merely a symptom of a failing immune symptom is unknown. '

UPI
"Insomniac flies resemble insomniac humans"
Yes, I've seen them late nights at the diner. In my soup. Doing the backstroke, according to the waiter.

' U.S. scientists have created a line of fruit flies that they hope might someday help shed light on the mechanisms that cause insomnia in humans. The flies created by the Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis only get a small fraction of the sleep of normal flies and resemble insomniac humans in several ways. For example, if researchers turned on a light at night, insomniac flies awakened and stayed up the rest of the night, while healthy flies went back to sleep. '

LA TIMES
"Heidi Pratt used to eat ants? Watch your back, Spencer"
Now we know why they call them "Speidi."

' "I know she's gonna win," says Holly Montag at the MTV Movie Awards about her sister, Heidi Montag, letting it slip that Heidi and her new hubby Spencer Pratt are actually competing against each other in the "I'm a Celebrity ... Get me Out of Here" reality show. But they have formed something "like an alliance." Are we surprised? "I have seen my sister build fires and eat ants ... that was growing up, for fun. She has a much better chance than anyone is giving her credit for," Holly says. '

FIRST COAST NEWS.COM
"Chickens Help Jacksonville Fight Mosquitos"
Who you callin' chicken?

' Meet Red, on the front line of Jacksonville's fight against mosquitos. He's a sentinel chicken, monitoring mosquito diseases in Jacksonville. "This is early in the year to have this significant of an increase in mosquitos and it was prompted by that large storm we had," Richard Smith of Jacksonville Mosquito Control told First Coast News' Erich Spivey. "We couldn't even sit on the patio because we were fighting mosquitos," says Jacksonville resident Jane Entenza. '

LIVE SCIENCE.COM
"Deer Disoriented by Power Lines"
Happens to the best of us.

' Last year, a team led by Hynek Burda and Sabine Begall discovered that free-ranging cattle and deer tend to align their bodies in a north-south direction. The animals sure seemed to be responding to the geomagnetic field. If so, the zoologists reasoned, they should lose their orientation when they graze or rest near power lines, because the current passing in the lines distorts Earth's magnetic field. If not, and the animals are reacting instead to the sun or some other cue, power lines should have no effect. By observing wild roe deer and studying aerial images from Google Earth of cattle in European fields, Burda, Begall and three colleagues confirmed their hypothesis. In general, the animals faced every which way near the lines. (East-west power lines were an intriguing exception; cattle tended to align with them, for reasons still unclear.) What's more, cattle gradually regained their north-south body orientation the farther they moved away from the lines. The study is the first strong demonstration of magnetic alignment in mammals other than rodents or bats. An internal compass could well be handy equipment in the roaming lifestyle of grazing animals. '

YAHOO NEWS
"NY man arrested buying drugs with slaughtered pig"
See? They were disoriented by power lines.

' Syracuse police say a 45-year-old man offered a slaughtered pig as partial payment for a bag of crack cocaine. They say two men were spotted making the deal on a street corner just before 8 p.m. Thursday. Angelo Colon of Fulton was arrested on a misdemeanor drug possession charge and 42-year-old Omar Veliz faces a felony drug sale charge. Police say Colon paid half a pig and $10 for a $50 bag of crack. Veliz told police the pig was for a celebration for a relative being released from jail. While officers were arresting the suspects, someone took the pig. '

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AWFUL NEWS

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YOU HEARD IT HERE LAST

THE SICK, THE SAD & THE UGLY

"All The Lonely People, Where Do They All Come From?"

"Get a life!" Ever heard that one? Most people have one. We even have one, sorta. But there are evidently people out there who not only do not have a life, they have a negative life, a reverse-life, the opposite of life. That would be death, we guess. And they just have to share it.


CNN
"Man charged in slaying of Kansas abortion doctor "
"Right to life"?

' Dr. George Tiller was shot and killed while serving as an usher at his Wichita, Kansas, church Sunday morning, according to police. Tiller was one of the few U.S. physicians who still performed late-term abortions and had survived a 1993 shooting outside his clinic. Scott Roeder from the Kansas City, Kansas, area is being held without bond in the Sedgwick County Adult Detention Facility, according to the sheriff's office Web site. He is also charged with two counts of aggravated assault. "This is a tragedy for the Tiller family. We feel so badly about that," Clarence Roeder, Scott's uncle, said in a statement provided to CNN affiliate KMBC. "That Scott would murder the doctor in the Lutheran Church. We are also Lutherans, and it adds a double touch of sadness and irony." Roeder is expected to appear in court early this week, law enforcement officials said. '

AFP
"Teen model escapes 'abusive' Malaysian prince"
'Abusive"? Bit of an understatement. The little bastard tortured and mutilated the girl. Why, it's like the U.S., for God's sake!

' Her mother, Daisy Fajarina, said she would press charges against the 31-year-old prince, and blamed the Malaysian and Indonesian governments for trying to cover up the alleged abuse. "The things I've been afraid of were revealed to be true. Manohara has suffered physical abuse. She's got several razor cuts on her chest," Fajarina told AFP on Monday. "No parent could be silent if their child was treated in such a barbaric way." The Malaysian government had ignored her pleas for access to her daughter and had blocked her from entering the country, she said, while the Indonesian embassy had said that Manohara was fine with her new husband. But the young woman -- a well-known socialite in Jakarta -- said her life at the royal palace involved a "daily routine" of rape, abuse, torture and occasional drug injections that made her vomit blood. She said she was usually held under guard in her bedroom at the palace and was injected with tranquilisers whenever she complained. "I am still traumatised by all that happened and it has left an impact on me," she told reporters in Jakarta on Sunday, after escaping the royal family during a trip to Singapore over the weekend. "Sexual abuse and sexual harassment were like a daily routine for me, and he did that every time I did not want to have sexual intercourse," she was quoted as saying in The Jakarta Globe. "I could never think a normal man could do such things," she said, adding: "Some parts of my body were cut by a razor." The teenager whose fairy-tale wedding to a prince captured the imagination of Indonesia said she would be tortured if she did not appear to be happy when she attended social functions with Fakhry. "Every time I went for events they forced me to smile and would torture me if I did not do what they said," she told the press conference. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Bausch & Lomb settles 600 eye fungus lawsuits"
"Out of the public eye"? WHAT EYE!!!??? The eye is GONE!!! -(Not the Government's eye: It was closed. Asleep. Needed a "wake-up call.")

' Sometimes, the damage was irreparable. Seven people in Florida, Maryland, New York, Oregon, Tennessee and West Virginia had to have an eye removed. At least 60 more Americans needed vision-saving corneal transplants. "The truth has been very carefully buried, and it appears to have been buried going back to the beginnings of the outbreak," said Dr. Arthur Epstein, who was chairman of the American Optometric Association's contact lens and cornea section during the highly publicized crisis. "All settlements were predicated on silence about the clinical findings and blame and so forth. My hope was that what actually happened would become part of public record in a courtroom. That way, we'd be able to learn from it and move on and make sure it never happened again." Multipurpose solutions have been on the market for over a decade, all but replacing older systems for rinsing and cleaning lenses. In 2007, another popular formula made by Santa Ana, Calif.-based Advanced Medical Optics, the No. 3 manufacturer behind Alcon Inc. and Bausch & Lomb, was linked to a flurry of hard-to-treat Acanthamoeba keratitis infections caused by a parasite. More than 170 people have sued the company, which was acquired this year by Abbott Laboratories. The Food and Drug Administration is poised to lay out more comprehensive testing standards for lens solutions. "We did take the two epidemics as very much of a wake-up call, because contact lens safety is an essential public health issue," said Dr. Malvina Eydelman, director of the agency's ophthalmic division. While Bausch says it has settled "the vast majority of fungal infection cases," it is challenging another 500-plus lawsuits linking MoistureLoc to assorted bacterial, viral and parasitic afflictions. A pretrial hearing set for June 3-5 in New York will decide if there's a reliable scientific basis for arguing such a link. When Bausch & Lomb was acquired by private equity firm Warburg Pincus for $3.67 billion in October 2007, Chief Executive Ronald Zarrella said the deal would allow the company "to pursue the growth path we were on ... without a lot of outside distraction." Zarrella retired last year. "They can do all this out of the public eye — guys like me aren't sitting there scrutinizing the financial impact of every single settlement," said analyst Jeff Johnson of Robert W. Baird & Co. in Milwaukee. "You can completely focus on your brand and on doing what's right by the patient." '

REUTERS
"Paper says mistakenly ran ad urging Obama killing"
"Just an honest mistake." And so was the ad for genuine Jewish lampshades. They're actually made from Gypsies. The paper printed a retraction. The Gypsy ad starts tomorrow. It's all good.

' A local newspaper in northwest Pennsylvania apologized on Friday for running a classified advertisement that called implicitly for the assassination of U.S. President Barack Obama. The Warren Times Observer, with a circulation of about 11,000, ran the ad in Thursday's paper and pulled it as soon as it was discovered by a manager, said publisher John Elchert. The ad read: "May Obama follow in the footsteps of Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley and Kennedy," Elchert said. Elchert declined to identify the person who placed the ad, and said he had referred the case to local police, who notified the Secret Service. Elchert said the representative who took the ad apparently didn't make the connection between the four assassinated presidents -- Abraham Lincoln, James Garfield, William McKinley and John F. Kennedy -- and mistakenly allowed the ad to run. "It was just an honest mistake," he told Reuters. Jim Mackin, a spokesman for the Secret Service, said investigators had identified the person who placed the ad and were taking it seriously. "We do not have the luxury of doing otherwise," he said. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Report: Singer Susan Boyle in London clinic"
Anybody not see this coming?

' London police would not directly confirm the report, but said doctors had been called to assist a woman under the Mental Health Act. Police said the woman had gone to a clinic voluntarily. Boyle drew 20.2 percent of the vote in the final, behind the dance group Diversity, which won 24.9 percent of the 4 million votes cast. The discovery that a 48-year-old woman from a small Scottish town was capable of singing very well on a national stage made Boyle an international sensation. Heavy media coverage followed, much of it laced with snide commentary about her looks, her social awkwardness, and her remark that she had never been kissed. Still, on Oprah Winfrey's U.S. television show, the singer said she was "loving every second" of her unexpected stardom. Scotland's First Minister Alex Salmond was scathing about the media pressure. "We've got elements of a press who like nothing better than to build people up and then drag them down," Salmond said. "It's pretty sad actually. It's almost a psychosis." '

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