XXI. WEDDING BELLS ARE PLAYING IN THE AVIARY

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THE MONKEYS LOVE A CEREMONY MORE THAN MOST

SENTIMENTAL ELEPHANTS ARE ALWAYS CRYING

So, The Lion Doesn't Sleep Tonight

(Part Twenty-One; Part One is HERE.)

Holly let go of Kris's b**ls. He skidded the car sideways, and broke through a chain closing off a small lookout parking lot. The big Cadillac swung around backwards, and hit the rock wall, breaking a tail-light. They came to a dead stop, their heads bouncing on their necks.

"Jesus!" Kris screeched.

"Whoa! Nice driving!" Holly exclaimed, patting Kris on the shoulder.

"Nice driving? Nice driving? You almost got us killed just now!"

"Eh, almost only counts in hahss-shoes, brah. Dis our lucky night!"

Kris got out of the cab and inspected the damage. The parking-lot chain had broken his left front turn signal light. The right rear tail-light was busted also.

"SH*T!!!"

"Not so bad. We can get 'em fixed tomorrow."

"With WHAT? I don't have money for this."

"Don't worry, brah, I can sell some of my stuff in those boxes in your back seat right there. Get some valuable junks there. No worries. I fix 'em tomorrow. Come on, we pahtnahs, now, yeah?" She hugged him and kissed him and rubbed his crotch.

"Knock it off, will ya? That's what got us into this mess."

"OK, OK, OK, I sorry. Save 'em for the honeymoon. Come on, the car is OK for now. Let's go get married."

"Where can you get married at this hour? This ain't Vegas."

"My friend got married at the zoo, at sunrise. All the animals were there. It was kewl."

"Without a license or a preacher?"

"No. They had all that. The old Hawaiian guy that's always by the bandstand, playing ukulele, he married them."

"That guy is a licensed minister?"

"I don't know about licenses. He's a kahuna, some kine, I think. A kapuna, anyways. Official Hawaiian kine."

"And the license?"

"No need. I trust you. We get 'em laters."

Shaking his head, Kris got back in the cab. They drove off out of the sunrise, which was just beginning to color the edge of the sky behind them. As they passed Hanauma Bay, the lights of Hawaii Kai spread out before them from the top of Koko Head. They could see the back of Diamond Head against the stars, and the lights of Waikiki.

"It's pretty here, no?"

"Yeah. It is. Sometimes."

Kris turned off the Kalanianaole Highway at the Kahana Mall, taking the back roads around Diamond Head to avoid the cops, with his broken signal lights. He pulled into the zoo parking lot behind Kapiolani Park and parked.

"So, you excited?"

"Why? What crazy sh*t are you going to pull now?"

"HAH! You'll see, husband!"

They walked over to the bandstand. It was still dark in the shadow of Diamond Head, and there was no one visible. Little noises off in the bushes indicated that there might be people sleeping there. There was no one else around except for a few solitary nuts, jogging.

"So. No kahuna."

"OK, let's do it anyway. I know how."

"You know how to what?"

"Get married! I been to lots of weddings. Come on, I'll show you." Holly pulled Kris along, across Monsarrat to the back of the zoo.

"It's closed, you know."

"More better. I know where there's a hole in the fence."

"You would."

"I do! See! This way!" She pulled aside a section of fence at a pole, and popped inside. Kris squeezed in behind her. They were in the zoo, at dawn. Mission accomplished. Just then, a lion roared, seemingly right in their faces. They could smell the rotting flesh on his breath. He was just the other side of a big wrought-iron fence, blinking at them.

"Ho! You scared us! Good morning, Mr. Lion."

The lion yawned enormously, and pawed at his enclosure. "Good morning," he roared, "Sorry I scared you."


[ PART TWENTY-TWO TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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