XXIII. "HAWAIIAN WEDDING SONG," THE REMIX

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MR. KRIS & MRS. HOLLY BEGIN THEIR LIFE TOGETHER WITH A SONG

BREAKFAST AT BENNY'S

How Do I Say This Gently? THIS SONG BLOWS!!!

(Part Twenty-Three; Part One is HERE.)

Kris & Holly left the zoo a married couple, followed by the sounds of parrots and monkeys, elephants and lions, giraffes and tigers wishing them well. Holly took Kris's hand and led him across Kapahulu Avenue.

"I'm starving! Can we have breakfast at Benny's? I love Benny's!" Holly asked.

"It's our honeymoon. I think the bride gets whatever she wants." Kris replied.

"Ho! I shoulda got married years ago! Le's go!" She ran ahead alone, stopping at the front door to Benny's and dancing with joy. "Come on, slow-poke! Breakfast getting cold, already!" Kris caught up and they went inside and sat at a table. There was a small jukebox, and Holly wanted to play something on it. Kris dug out some quarters and Holly fed the little machine.

"What kine music you like?"

"Oh, you know. Polka. Bulgarian chants. Klezmer."

"Whaaa? I pick the songs, then. OK?"

"Your wish is my command."

"Oh, really? Hm. We'll see about that, Mr. Man! Oh, look! 'Hawaiian Wedding Song.' A-19." She punched in A-19. After a moment, noises began to issue forth from the juke-box. "Eh, what is dat? Sound like da elephants wen' faht."

"Dunno. Never heard this song before. Kinda sad, for a wedding song. How' bout the Dixie Cups?"

"Oh, you one redneck, now? Dats OK. I fix you." She reached across the table and took Kris's hand, squeezing it. The waitress showed up, a tough old local girl with tatoo's up the wazoo. "Eh, Tita, love those tat's!"

"Tanks, eh? You guys like drink something?"

"Get POG?"

"No, only OJ and pineapple, canned."

"OK, OK, OK, OJ. Two. Yeah?" She raised her pretty eyebrows to Kris.

"You're the boss."

"HAH! I da luna, now! We just get married, das why."

"Oh, congratulations! OJ on da house, den"

"For reals? Tanks, eh!"

"I go get 'em."

"She kinda talk funny. T'ink she from Molokai. Maybe Lanai."

"Maybe. Hey, you want pancakes, eggs, waffles?"

"All t'ree! Nah. Just, um, sweet-bread French toast, with the coconut syrup. My favorite kine."

"Your wish..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. What you getting?"

"Ham & cheese omelette. Potatoes & toast. Coffee & OJ."

"Haole food."

"American food."

"Whatevers."

"What's the matter, getting sick of me, already"

"Almos'! NAH! I just hungry." She started pounding on the table with her silverware. The waitress brought their orange juice in tiny little glasses, and they clinked glasses and drank the juice straight down. They ordered breakfast, and then wolfed it right down. Kris paid and they walked back to the car over by the zoo, got in and drove around the corner to Kris's apartment. They parked, and grabbed Holly's boxes from the back seat. Kris left his strongboxes in the trunk. They were beginning to smell ripe. They went upstairs and dumped Holly's boxes in the living room. Holly grabbed a quick shower with coconut soap from K-Mart. Kris followed with a quick rinse of his own. When he finished, He found Holly had produced sheets from one of her boxes, and even a pillow. The bed was all dressed, and Holly was lying naked in it. "Come on in, husband."

Kris dried himself off and got in bed with his new bride. She looked and smelled incredible. It was a dream come true. He hugged her close to him and squeezed her good. That's when she began to snore.


[ PART TWENTY-FOUR TOMORROW copyright 2008 Cosa Nostradamus.]
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