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Friday, April 03, 2009

SEX, LAWS & VIDEO-TEXT

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PHONE SEX GOES GRAPHIC

LITTLE SISTER IS WATCHING: LONG LIVE LITTLE SISTER!

YOUTUBE: THE VILLAGE PEOPLE
"Sex over the phone"
Back when phones still had wires, and the Village People were straight.


War Is Peace. Freedom Is Slavery. Masturbation Is Sex. Love Is A Phone Call.

OK, so "phone sex" is basically just j**king off while you're talking on the phone, right? Now we have texting, so, we guess you're typing while you masturbate, you little sod? Presumably, they use all those computer-screen slang terms, acronyms, abbreviations and "emoticons." We always end up having to look some of those up. Are people interrupting their long-distance wanks to look stuff up? "Wait, wait, honey, lemme just put you on hold..." How erotic. It must be like f**king a teeny little typewriter. OMGYG2BFKMIROTFLMMFAOD {:^)

There's cameras in all the damned cell phones now, so, of course porn is viewed and exchanged. The modern sensibility is nothing if not graphical. Video ergo sum. But it's all getting a bit complicated. Arranging all your gear, ahem, talking on the phone, texting on the phone, emailing pictures on the phone, shooting video from phone to phone. It's an electrical engineer's wet-dream. But hot? No more so than beeper sex, we guess. Set it on stun. We mean vibrate. So, what about cell phones that emulate or stimulate genitalia? Who has the patent on that? What are they waiting for? President Hillary?

Pretty soon, actual insertion of a penis into a vagina is going to seem downright perverse. Hot sweaty animal sex with another person right there in the same room with you! GROSS! Is that even legal? You'd be tasting and feeling and smelling each other, just like dogs! Barbaric. Exchanging bodily fluids? Ew. That can't last. Whose idea was that? With the advent of video-texting-cell-phone-sex, we are witnessing the end of f**king, the withering away of the urban & suburban genitalia, a truly sexless society, a revolutionary new culture where you only reach out and touch someone over the telephone.

Short your condom stock. Unless yours is already short. BWAWAWAHHAWHAHHAHHAHAHAHAW!!!


CNN
"Reporters call Hillary Clinton, get phone sex line"
They should have called Monica if they wanted that.
' Journalists who dialed in to a White House conference call Thursday hoping for a media-friendly reception got a far friendlier response than they were counting on. Instead of hearing Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and National Security Advisor Jim Jones on the other end laying out foreign policy and security threats, reporters were greeted by a recording on a phone sex line. "Do you have any hidden desires? If you feel like getting nasty, then you came to the right place," said a suggestive-sounding woman. The White House says an aide merely mistyped the 800-dial in number — a mistake not likely to happen again. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Cereal box typo sends callers to phone sex line"
Was it Frankenberry?
' An Oregon company has ordered new packaging for its Peace Cereal after a typo on the box sent callers to a phone sex line instead of the cereal maker's 800 number. Instead of reaching Golden Temple of Oregon, callers were greeted by a recorded voice asking, "Do you love sex? ... Isn't that why you called?" '

MSNBC
"13-Year-Old Accused Of Making Porn On Cell Phone"
Now THERE'S a prosecutor with a hardon for somebody.
' Police arrested a 13-year-old accused of making porn using his cell phone to allegedly record a classmate perform a sex act. Middletown police arrested the teenager Wednesday on felony pandering obscenities charges. Investigators said the boy used the video camera on his phone to record the sex act. Police said he didn't necessarily “sext,” a sexually explicit text message, the video to his friends, but he did show it off at a recent skating party. '

CYBERCAST NEWS SERVICE
"Federal Judge Sides with Teen Girls in Pa. Cell-phone ‘Sexting’ Case"
Oh, sure, the GIRLS can do it! BOGUS, dude!!!
' A federal district judge in Allentown, Pa., has temporarily barred the district attorney of Wyoming County, Pa., from prosecuting three teen girls on felony child pornography charges for circulating two semi-nude photos of themselves to their classmates via cell phones two years ago. In one of the pictures, two 13-year-old girls posed together wearing bras, according to court documents. The other photo depicted a teen girl who was naked from the waist up. The American Civil Liberties Union, representing the teens' parents, had filed suit against Wyoming County District Attorney George Skumanick Jr, who had said he would pursue felony charges against the girls unless they agreed to participate in a five-week after-school sexual-harassment program and probation. “Here you have a prosecutor threatening children with very serious felony charges when he has no basis in law to do so,” said Vic Walczak, legal director for ACLU Pennsylvania and the plaintiffs’ attorney in the case. Walczak and the ACLU also claim that the images are protected First Amendment speech – and that the girls didn't consent to having their pictures distributed. “The two photographs, which depict no sexual activity or display of pubic area, are not illegal under Pennsylvania’s crimes code and, indeed, are images protected by the First Amendment,” he added. The federal judge agreed with the ACLU. Similar situations have been reported in nearly a dozen states already, and legislators are struggling to apply pre-existing child pornography laws in the Internet era. According to a report titled “Sex and Tech” released last month by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 20 percent of teens say they have sent or posted nude or seminude pictures or videos of themselves. '

LEBANON, PENNSYLVANIA DAILY NEWS
"Man who recorded sex act sent to prison"
Aggravated cell-phoning was the charge. And then they reversed the charges.
' A 19-year-old city man will spend at least six months in the Lebanon County prison for recording with his cell phone two juveniles engaging in a sex act near a Lebanon playground and sharing the video with others. Rafael Vega, 608 Willow St., Apt. 4, was sentenced yesterday to a maximum of 18 months in prison and fined $500. He had pleaded guilty to sexual abuse of children in manufacturing child pornography, disseminating child pornography and corruption of minors, his attorney Timothy Engler said. The charges stemmed from an incident outside a storage unit across the street from the Progressive Playground at First and Weidman streets, when a then-13-year-old Lebanon boy engaged in a sexual act with a then-12-year-old girl. Vega, who has no prior criminal record, was not a participant in the sexual activity, Engler said. “He doesn’t strike me as someone who did this in a malicious way,” Engler told the judge. Except for the use of his cell phone to take and distribute the video, Vega would not have been charged with a criminal offense, President Judge John Tylwalk said. Vega, who wore a T-shirt to court that read “Only God Can Judge,” had nothing to say before he was sentenced. '

LONDON DAILY MAIL
"Man cleared of rape after court shown phone footage of woman 'actively' taking part in sex"
It cuts both ways, it seems.
' A businessman has been cleared of raping a university student after jurors were shown footage of the sex session taken on a mobile phone. Gary Taylor, 41, was accused of attacking the 27-year-old woman after turning up at her flat with cocaine and a bottle of red wine. The woman, who can't be identified for legal reasons, told jurors that Mr Taylor forced her to perform a sex act on him and then raped her in her living room. But during cross-examination she was shown footage Mr Taylor had taken on his mobile phone during the encounter on September 26, 2008. Mr Taylor's barrister Karen Holt said the footage showed the woman 'actively' performing a sex act on him. '

NEW BRITAIN, CONNECTICUT HERALD
"Using phone while driving puts sex offender back in jackpot"
Wonder if he was having phone sex when the cop pulled him over. Maybe that's why he was nervous.
' A man wanted by federal authorities as an escapee wound up getting caught Tuesday when he was spotted driving and talking on his cell phone. Danny Huggler, 51, of 2 Mohawk Circle, Newington, wasn’t only wanted for skipping out on showing up at a halfway house after being released from federal prison, but had also failed to register as a sex offender in Connecticut while on the lam, U.S. marshals and state police said. “The officer did a great job,” said Andrew Tingley, supervisory deputy U.S. marshal. “We were actively looking for him but had no idea where he was.” Tingley said Huggler was sentenced to 63 months in federal prison for criminal possession of a firearm in Maine. ccording to state police, Huggler notified the state’s Sex Offender Registry that he would be living in Brooklyn, Conn., when he was released from federal prison in 2008 but he never confirmed the address. He was convicted of third-degree sexual assault in 1995 and is required to register and continually confirm his home address in whatever state he lives, said state police who have begun an investigation into his failure to confirm his address. Farmington police officer Joseph Capodiferro spotted Huggler talking on a cell phone while driving on Route 6 near Fienemann Road about 1:10 p.m. and pulled the car over. “I enforce that law and hand out tickets all the time,” Capodiferro said. “He was talking on the cell phone. It was that simple. In this case it worked out really well.” '
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