BUMPER STICKERS FOR CHRIST
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AND OTHER NAZI HEROES
WILL NOT FIT ON HYBRIDS:
PERFECT FOR HUMMERS
From The Bumper-Sticker Minds Of Conservatives
The New Bible is scrawled on bashed-in automobile fenders and pasted in the cracked back windows of pick-up trucks. The morons who pilot these message-driven VEE-hicles don't have time for whole sentences. Grunts suffice. A whole book, even a Good Book is just too much for our Jesus-freaks these days. They have Jesus coloring books, Christ cartoons, divine video games, Xtian DVDs, even Christian rock, for those who prefer to whistle the liturgy.
The real reason they've strayed so far from the New Testament is that they'd really rather be living in the Old Testament. That's where all the intra-familial begettin' & beheadin' is at. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, waterboard for no reason at all. Good old religious torture porn by the chapter and verse. But it's damned, I mean, derned hard goin' for the home-skewld. That's why we've produced these handy bumper stickers that express the true religious feelings of the average red-State redneck. You know, the assholes who put the fundament in fundamentalist?
You're welcome, yawl. Lick 'em before ya stick 'em. That'll he'p yer marriages, too.
Double-click to enlarge, then right-click to download. Hi-rez versions available by request:
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IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR BLOGGERS:
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!
AND OTHER NAZI HEROES
WILL NOT FIT ON HYBRIDS:
PERFECT FOR HUMMERS
("What would Jesus shoot?")
From The Bumper-Sticker Minds Of Conservatives
The New Bible is scrawled on bashed-in automobile fenders and pasted in the cracked back windows of pick-up trucks. The morons who pilot these message-driven VEE-hicles don't have time for whole sentences. Grunts suffice. A whole book, even a Good Book is just too much for our Jesus-freaks these days. They have Jesus coloring books, Christ cartoons, divine video games, Xtian DVDs, even Christian rock, for those who prefer to whistle the liturgy.
The real reason they've strayed so far from the New Testament is that they'd really rather be living in the Old Testament. That's where all the intra-familial begettin' & beheadin' is at. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, waterboard for no reason at all. Good old religious torture porn by the chapter and verse. But it's damned, I mean, derned hard goin' for the home-skewld. That's why we've produced these handy bumper stickers that express the true religious feelings of the average red-State redneck. You know, the assholes who put the fundament in fundamentalist?
You're welcome, yawl. Lick 'em before ya stick 'em. That'll he'p yer marriages, too.
Double-click to enlarge, then right-click to download. Hi-rez versions available by request:
("Pregnancy termination is murder, war is just good fun.")
("Let's execute somebody. Anybody.")
("Baby-killer killer on board")
("Jesus loves me, you he hates")
("Defend traditional marriage: Bring a cow as a dowry")
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Labels: asinine, Bumper-stickers, car talk, Conservative, dumb, fender-mind-benders, funny, humorous, idiotic, laughable, Political, rear-end reading, religious, ridiculous, sayings, silly, slogans, stupid
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SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!
posted by Cosa Nostradamus @ 6/09/2009 12:02:00 AM
View blog reactions
4 Comments:
I know when I come visit your spot I can count on a smile.
Awesome twang, btw :).
Have you been taking elocution lessons from Caribou Barbie?
That's some down home twangity, twang twang, righ chere.
I can almost hear the song from Deliverance...
With all due respect, it's "y'all" and the plural is "all y'all" in some parts, but around here "y'all" is both singular and plural.
(Great post)
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Say whut? Do whut, naow? Hey, Skye!
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Yodel-lady-whooo! That's "hello," yeah, Connie?
; )
Depends where "here" is. I've heard, "you all," "yawls," "yawls's," "you'ns," "you & your'ns," "youse," "yous's," "yaws," "ya," "yahs," "ye," "yeh," "yez", "oyez," "yuh," "yuz," "you lot," and "all y'all," when "you" is all you guys need.
You girls. Women. Folks. People. Peoples. Peeps. Whatevers.
Different strokes. You and your ilk are always welcome here.
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