STALKING THE WILD BUSH VOTER

RARE ANIMAL SPOTTED IN DISCOUNT DRUG STORE

Could Be The Last Of His Species

I was standing in line with Mr. Jimmy, a man said he looked pretty ill. Actually, he said something I didn't understand. He was looking at the Sunday paper in my shopping basket. There was a headline about Bush, or Kerry, or something. This old white guy, maybe ninety years old, was reading it, and talking back to it. (I do that with the TV, or the radio, even, sometimes. But never the newspaper. The NEWSPAPER can't HEAR you! I guess that's what people talked back to, before there was radio, or TV...) Mumbling, blithering, babbling, blathering. Then he turned to me a few degrees, you know, the way some old people do? You don't know if they can't turn their heads all the way left or right, or if they merely disdain to do so.

"That Kerry, he's no good." I ignored him. "He's a liar," continued the venerable sage. "And Bush isn't?" I inquired. The white Buddha went on, oblivious, inscrutable. "Bush won't let 'em kill babies for cloning." "Well, that's just pandering to the Alzheimers' vote. And it seems to be working," I opined. "The Bishops said he's no good," intoned the man. "He's for men marrying men." "Instead of molesting little boys, like a good Catholic?" "Haw? What? Hanh?"

He had reached the register, and the cashier was asking him for his Medicaid discount card. He couldn't find it. He searched for it. We all waited. Finally, he found it, and he paid for his drugs with a platinum credit card. I was tempted to snatch it out of his hand, and run off to Tahiti. But Hawaii is bad enough. When the cashier tried to give it back to him, he didn't even recognize it. "Is that mine?" She put it in his hand, bagged his stuff, and sent him on his way. "Enjoy your Social Security, Pops. It should last about as long as you do, under Bush," I sneered.

"No way I'm voting for Bush," the cashier said. She was a young local Chinese girl. She looked tired. "I'm working two jobs now, and I may have to drop out of school." "Hang in there, kiddo. Vote for Kerry and things will get better." "I dunno. Is he really all that different?" "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, well you might find, you get what you need." "Hunh," she said, checking ME for signs of Alzheimers. "I think I will probly vote for Kerry." With MY vote, we won the DRUGSTORE!!! Look out, Big Pharma!

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