MICHAEL JACKSON IS FUCKING IT UP FOR ALL THE NASTY OLD PERVS

CHILL OUT, THRILLER!

This Ain't No Way To Run A One-Man NAMBLA Chapter

Look, Mikey, first of all it's not such a good idea for such a high-profile creep such as yourself to openly fuck such little boys. Not right here in America, anyway. You should go to the Philippines or Thailand or someplace like that and hire a cheap third world pimp to get you whatever you want. Preferably, someplace they've never heard of you. And where boy-rape is not only legal, but a mainstay of the local economy.

If you were going to fuck little tiny boys right under their parents' noses, you should not have dressed up like a white girl. I mean, they know you're a black guy, right? You could have maybe got away with scoutmaster, lacrosse coach, choir director, deacon, rector, pastor, priest; something like that. Seriously, it works all the time. Try it, next time. Not white girl.

Also, maybe run an ad on the Internet for parents who are ready and willing to pimp out their kids. Hammer out the details before you even meet them.The way you're doing it now, you're just asking for trouble.Seal the deal, THEN break the li'l booty, 'Kay?

Finally, the whole "Neverland" thing is just de trop. At least PRETEND to be a heterosexual adult, interested only in heterosexual adult females. Get a coach, or something. What's Gary Coleman doing these days? You can learn. You can do this! Look, if you spread the dough around, you could get off on this.

It might not be so easy, next time. Import some Third-World slave-children, disable their voice boxes, blind them, and keep them sequestered. Either that, or go boy-raping in another jurisdiction, PLEASE. Really, dude, you're fucking things up for all the other creeps and perverts. It's hardly worth their hanging around the playground any more.

Just beat it. Then we'll talk.

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