Blog Me No Blogs: STAR WARS FUNNIES

STAR WARS FUNNIES

WHAT ARE STAR WARS TREKKIES CALLED, ANYWAY?

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If:

1. Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
2. You have used your light saber to open and cook a can of pork and beans.
3. You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
4. At least one wing of your X-Wing fighter is primer-colored.
5. There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
6. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
7. You can easily describe the taste of Ewok.
8. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
9. You think that the Stormtrooper Elite Guards are just KKK members with heavily armoured sheets.
10. A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
11. You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not The Force.
12. Your master has said, "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
13. You have had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
14. You have lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
15. The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
16. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
17. You have used The Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
18. You have used The Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
19. You have used a light saber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
20. Your father told you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
21. You've had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to light a bar-b-que.
22. You told your sister you'd kill her if she ever married a Wookie --and him too!
23. You see nothing wrong with Luke marrying Leia.
24. You've never been able to find anyone with a weaker mind.
25. You spend EVERY weekend at the pod races.
26. Your boots usually have banta-dung on them.
27. You won't wear a cape cuz you think it's QUEER!
28. There's no part of the banta that you won't eat.
29. Your space ship has an 8-track tape player with dozens of Merle Haggard tapes.
30. It doesn't work
31. So you just sing along with the songs in your head as you cruise around and around the Solar System throwing beer cans out the air lock.
32. You're not allowed to come within 50 parsecs of your ex-wife.
33. Your kids are all named Obi- something.
34. Your communicator plays "Dixie."
35. Your spaceship has a foxtail on the antenna.
36. Your replicator makes some wicked fried chicken.
37. And some mean moonshine.
38. Instead of Christmas presents, you always just say "May the force be with ya, Cuz!" and make weird hand-gestures.
39. Right before you pass gas, you always say "I feel a disturbance in the Force --pull my finger!"
40. You once threatened to "Kick Yoda's ASS!"
41. You became an Imperial Senator after the recount in Florida.
42. You subsequently voted in Dubya as Emperor.
43. You recently got drunk and crossed over to the Dark side of the Force.
44. Yet, curiously, you no longer have any black friends.

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