CHRISTIAN FASHION STATEMENTS
NOW YOU TOO CAN DRESS LIKE A REAL REPUBLICAN
You May Have To, If You Want To Travel Freely In America, Soon
READ THIS FIRST. THAT'S AN ORDER:
"Uniforms For Jesus"
I just read an article over at a site called Shlonkom Bakazay? about a merger of military recruitment/men's night out/christian rah rah that is probably one of the scariest things I've ever read. "
Now, now. This could be a positive thing: A real opportunity. I happen to have access to a large supply of US Army WWII-surplus winter dress shirts from the European Theater: They're wool and quite warm. And, best of all, they're brown.
I predict this will be the next big fashion trend. We already have Christian rock, Christian radio, Christian pizza delivery with a sermonette in every box, spelled out in pepperoni. Now we have Christian fashion: I've had all 144,000 of these lovely brown shirts embroided with a crucifix, just above the heart.
The original patches, ribbons, and insignias have been removed, and replaced by American flags on both arms. On the right breast-pocket, there's an appliqued picture of Jesus Christ holding an M-16 assault rifle. Just like the real troopers defending freedom and Christanity in heathen Iraq, with the words, "What Would Jesus Kill?" Get 'em while they're hot!
Now, it doesn't matter what your political or religious beliefs may be. That's between you and your personal saviour. But if you want to continue to roam freely here in the Homeland, I suggest you get on this bandwagon real quick-like. I only have one hundred and forty-four thousand of these shirts, and they're going fast.
More importantly, I've also been awarded a government contract through my local Baptist church, a faith-based inititiative they've franchised out to me: Six million pink triangles, eight-pointed green Muslim stars, and lily-liver-coloured "LIB" patches. And there's more orders coming in. So, pick your fashion statement, folks. I've got 'em all!
Plus, if you act now, I can throw in FREE, and at no charge or obligation, an authentic replica of the original "Christ On A Cracker," Confederate forage cap, with a picture of Jesus right smack dab in the middle of a Rebel flag on the front of the cap. With my compliments! But hurry, supplies are limited. Call now! Operators are standing by:
(He gets a small percentage of each sale. Nothing I could do about it.)
Cross-posted at "RATBOY'S ANVIL." Thank you, Mr. Cul!
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