JACKSON FUNERAL? MJ IS ALIVE & WELL!
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FUNERAL JUST SHOW: KING OF POP
MOVES IN WITH THE PALINS
SARAH PALIN HAS TURNED TRIG OVER TO
MICHAEL JACKSON FOR "POP THERAPY"
Love-Starved Star Just Wanted Attention, Offered To Solve Palin's Money Problems
Two of the new millenium's great mysteries were solved in one shot today, as Michael Jackson sat up in his coffin and began singing, then danced his way through astonished crowds and into a waiting chopper which whisked him to LAX behind a huge LAPD helicopter escort. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin was there at the airport with her new corporate jet, Chosen-1, a gift from Jackson, to whisk the freshly resurrected musician off to the new home she will share with Jackson in the 49th State: The Wasilla Dome, recently purchased and specially redone as a kiddie playland by Michael Jackson in return for full custody of all male children in the extended Palin family under the age of puberty. Palin's daughter is now pregnant and hoping for another boy for the King Of Pop.
"It's like the parting of the Red Sea, or velcro, or just a damned miracle" the Governor gushed. "Michael is backing my run for the Presidency next year, and I'm helping him with his problems, and by golly, the Lord sure moves in mysterious ways! Together, we'll have this country straightened out in no time, you betchya!" she finished with a wink.
Jackson's publicists apologized to fans, saying that Michael felt that he needed to see if his fans still loved him, and to reboot his career. One of his security doubles volunteered to undergo an autopsy in Jacko's place. He will be buried tomorrow with a copy of Jackson's new CD. Sales of the CD are now through the roof, proving Jackson's career revival strategy worked. Republicans across the nation praised Palin's new patron, and invited him to Klan meetings across the country, now that he is white, and born again.
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SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!
FUNERAL JUST SHOW: KING OF POP
MOVES IN WITH THE PALINS
SARAH PALIN HAS TURNED TRIG OVER TO
MICHAEL JACKSON FOR "POP THERAPY"
Love-Starved Star Just Wanted Attention, Offered To Solve Palin's Money Problems
Two of the new millenium's great mysteries were solved in one shot today, as Michael Jackson sat up in his coffin and began singing, then danced his way through astonished crowds and into a waiting chopper which whisked him to LAX behind a huge LAPD helicopter escort. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin was there at the airport with her new corporate jet, Chosen-1, a gift from Jackson, to whisk the freshly resurrected musician off to the new home she will share with Jackson in the 49th State: The Wasilla Dome, recently purchased and specially redone as a kiddie playland by Michael Jackson in return for full custody of all male children in the extended Palin family under the age of puberty. Palin's daughter is now pregnant and hoping for another boy for the King Of Pop.
"It's like the parting of the Red Sea, or velcro, or just a damned miracle" the Governor gushed. "Michael is backing my run for the Presidency next year, and I'm helping him with his problems, and by golly, the Lord sure moves in mysterious ways! Together, we'll have this country straightened out in no time, you betchya!" she finished with a wink.
Jackson's publicists apologized to fans, saying that Michael felt that he needed to see if his fans still loved him, and to reboot his career. One of his security doubles volunteered to undergo an autopsy in Jacko's place. He will be buried tomorrow with a copy of Jackson's new CD. Sales of the CD are now through the roof, proving Jackson's career revival strategy worked. Republicans across the nation praised Palin's new patron, and invited him to Klan meetings across the country, now that he is white, and born again.
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Labels: alaska, career move, dancer, dead, funeral, governor, Jacksons, King Of Pop, Michael Jackson, MJ, musician, pedophile, Republican, resigned, Sarah Palin, sexual predator, The Jackson Family, Trig
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SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: BRING THEM ALL HOME ALIVE, NOW!
posted by Cosa Nostradamus @ 7/07/2009 12:01:00 AM
View blog reactions
4 Comments:
Thanks for this... I was starting to consider painless ways to off myself in lieu of the agony of round-the-clock Jackson body updates and Palin stupidity (which is a bit redundant, huh?).
Now it all makes perfect sense!
Thanks
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SKYEWRITER: Apparently, it's easier to overdose on Tylenol than we thought. But don't do it. The world needs you right now more than ever, to counterbalance all teh stooooopit.
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SIDHE: Thanks! Nice to see you. You see, Ronnie Rayguns was Right: There's a simple answer to every question or problem: Bury it in Alaska.
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