NAVY HAULS ASS!
However Slow Rummy & Dubya May Be,
Your Sailors & Marines Are Shit Hot!
On the job: The aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln, named for the first Republican President (who defeated the slaving South and freed all African-Americans from bondage: One of only two great Republicans, ever... ) and the helicopter carrier assault ship USS Bonhomme Richard (named in honour of the ship gifted us by the French in the Revolutionary War, in turn named after Benjamin "Poor Richard" Franklin, and lost in the victorious battle resulting in the capture of HMS Serapis in 1779, to whose captain our own John Paul Jones uttered the immortal words, "Sir, I have not yet begun to fight.").
Balls, by Gawd! The US Navy certainly has them. And needed them, especially in the early years of the Republic. Up against the world's only remaining then-contemporary naval super-power, Great Britain, and such miscreants as the Barbary pirates, US sailors and Marines in small fleets and single ships rammed the Starry Blue Jack up obstreperous asses all over the world: From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli, Anchors A-Weigh, Baby! Those were the days when one bold ship of the line could turn the whole tide of a war. Conquer a country. Subdue a tyrant. Rescue a nation
Today, they do the work of tyrants, misfortunately. But the men and women of your armed forces would rather be saving the world, than oppressing it. Be proud that they cut such a wake across barbaric seas, to save the souls of "heathen" children, asking no conversions. Toys for tots my royal white ass! They're feeding babies like milky mothers. Your grizzled Marines and salty sailors are carrying kids from stinking mud puddles to clean white hospitals in their own strong arms, and doing it in your name: America.
Unhappily, a single ship can no longer turn a tide, as in olden days. In fact, we need a hundred, no, a thousand boats across the seas from Thailand to Somalia. But the degenerate Republicans will not send them. O My Captain! How awful for our Republic, that it cannot give its' all for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness! Alas and alack, we don't have an Abraham Lincoln, or a Benjamin Franklin, today: We have only a Dubya. A single character. And not muchaone.
But we can still hope, we last remaining True Americans: The liberals. See, ladies and gentlemen, we are still that great, ballsy little country that stunned the British Empire, and the world, over two hundred years ago. We just need a chance to prove it, now and again.
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