WACKY WEIRD WILD & WORRISOME NEWS

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MOSTLY FUNNY, THOUGH. DID I MENTION IT'S FUN? SO FUN!

HEY KIDS, IT'S TIME TO PLAY "THERE'S BIGGER A-HOLES THAN ME"!

Well, Bigger A-Holes Than YOU, Anyways! Heh-Heh!


FOODCONSUMER.ORG
"Cannot afford raising children? Send them to Nebraska!"
OUCH! Nebraska! Seems a little HARSH! Don't they like do stuff to ya with corn out there? WATCH OUT FOR THE CORN, GIRL!!!

' Nebraska just passed the law in July after years of lawmakers' attempts making it the last state that allows parents to legally abandon their children in hospital or police department without prosecution. Gary Staton dropped five boys and four girls ages 20 months to 17 years at Creighton University Medical Center's Emergency room and then walked away. The man still keeps his tenth child, an 18 year-old daughter, according to the Associated Press. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Japan's online social scene isn't so social "
In Saiba-Spasu, No One Can Hear You Bow

' Welcome to Japan's online social scene, where you're unlikely to meet anyone you don't know already. The early promises of a new, open social frontier, akin to the identity-centric world of Facebook and MySpace in the U.S., have been replaced by a realm where people stay safely within their circles of friends and few reveal themselves to strangers. "There is the sense that, `My face just isn't that interesting, or I'm not attractive — there is nothing special about me to show people,'" says Tetsuya Shibui, a writer who has long followed the Internet in Japan. Indeed, the Japanese virtual world has turned out just like the real one. People rarely give their first names to those they don't know well. Spontaneous exchanges are uncommon even on the tightly packed trains and streets of Tokyo. TV news shows often blur the faces of those caught in background footage and photos to protect their privacy. '

REUTERS
"Lamb-eating sea eagles upset Scottish farmers"
And It's Ruining Their Love-Lives

' Sheep farmers in remote northwest Scotland are furious about a sea eagle reintroduction programme, saying the huge birds of prey are damaging their livelihoods by killing 200 lambs in the past year. Fraser said the sea eagles -- which have a wing span of eight feet (2.4 metres) and can weigh eight kgs (18 lbs) when fully grown -- will snatch even year-old sheep. Reynolds said that last week an RSPB team in Scotland examined a sea eagle nest on Gairloch and found their diet consisted largely of Fulmars, a sea bird, and quite large lamb bones, suggesting they were scavenged. '

AFP
"Monster pig traps Aussie woman in home"
Women Who Love Pigs Too Much.

' ""It's a beautiful male pig but he's just so big and so pushy," she told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. It started getting very pushy, started pushing me around, so I started to get a bit frightened, until the stage that it started knocking on my door at four o'clock in the morning, actually head-butting my door," she said. "This morning, I wanted to go to my toilet, which is outside. I opened up the door and the pig pushed me that hard, it pushed me back into my room, where I fell over," she said. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Woman named Bacon wins Idaho hog-calling title"
It Doesn't Seem Fair, Somehow.

' Bacon won the crown over as she started her hog call with a few loud snorts and a long, drawn-out "sooey." She has raised several champion pigs for 4-H contests. Bacon says she calls pigs every morning and night with her 9-year-old daughter, Jacey. The northern Idaho woman took first place Saturday in the competition at the Nez Perce County Fair. '

YAHOO NEWS
"McCartney's ex donating $1M in vegan food to Bronx"
BPFTHFPBTHBPTHP!!!! Yo, I Got Ya Veggie-F*ckin'-Boigahs Right Heah, Bitch! Veggie DIS!

' Paul McCartney's ex-wife is donating $1 million worth of soy hamburgers, soy hot dogs and soy chicken cutlets to one of the poorest neighborhoods in the Bronx. Heather Mills is set to announce the donation just before the Hunts Point Back to School Fair kicks off Saturday afternoon. The vegan animal rights campaigner is an honorary chairwoman of the nonprofit that organizes the event. She tells the New York Post that she wants to make sure children in the neighborhood "have as many nutritional advantages as anyone else." '

REUTERS
"Italian pet owners face fines on dog mess tests "
CSI My Poopy

' Dog excrement used to be merely a nuisance to pedestrians, now it could be used as evidence against pet owners and may lead to fines. A town in northern Italy plans to create a DNA database of all registered dogs and then test droppings left on pavements and in parks to identify the culprit and fine owners who fail to clean up after their pets, La Stampa daily reported Tuesday. '

AFP
"Digital evolution: early fish had primitive fingers, says study"
So That Freakin' Fish WAS Givin' Me The Finger!!!

' Scientists have traced the origin of fingers and toes to fish-like creatures that roamed the seas 380 million years ago, according to a new study. "What we have shown is that the hand and the foot emerge from pre-existing bits of the fin skeleton that were just reshaped, rather than being entirely new bits that were bolted onto the existing fin skeleton," said co-author Per Ahlberg, a researcher at Uppsala University in Sweden. But recent research in genetics had suggested that rudimentary digits might have emerged further back along the evolutionary tree than once suspected. The image shows stubby bones at the end of the fin skeleton clearly arrayed like four fingers, called distal radials. There are no joints, and the bones are quite short, but there could be no doubt as to what they were. '

YAHOO NEWS
"Stressed plants produce an aspirin-like chemical"
I KNEW Those Pakalolo's Were Talking About Me!

' Aspirin is among the most popular remedies used by people. Turns out some plants like it, too. Researchers at the National Center for Atmospheric Research were surprised to discover that stressed plants produce an aspirin-like chemical that can be detected in the air above the plants. The chemical may be a sort of immune response that helps protect the plants, the scientists speculated. "Our measurements show that significant amounts of the chemical can be detected in the atmosphere as plants respond to drought, unseasonable temperatures or other stresses." While researchers had known that plants in the laboratory produce a form of aspirin known as methyl salicylate, they had never looked for it in the forest. But when they set up measuring devices in a walnut grove near Davis, Calif., to monitor plant emissions that can affect pollution, they discovered measurable amounts of methyl salicylate. Previous studies have shown that plants being eaten by animals also produce chemicals that can be sensed by other plants nearby. In addition to having an immune-like function, the chemical may be a means for plants to communicate to neighboring plants, warning them of the threat. "These findings show tangible proof that plant-to-plant communication occurs on the ecosystem level," says NCAR scientist Alex Guenther, a co-author of the study. "It appears that plants have the ability to communicate through the atmosphere." '

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