DECIDING THE UNDECIDED

Crunch-Time For Dummies

How lame do you have to be to STILL not know who you're voting for? Should these IDIOTS even be ALLOWED to vote?

I think all these few undecided boobs are going to respond to is this: "Kerry will give you more money back on your taxes, guaranteed. Bush's people have already said he 'might' raise taxes to pay for his next war. He'll have to."

If they're of draft age, or in the Guard, Reserve or active duty military: "Kerry will never start another war. No way he's going to ever draft, mobilize or extend anybody, except in a REAL national emergency. He's been there, done that. Not like Bush."

If they're "security" Moms: "Really, who would you trust with your own kids? An alcoholic draft-dodger, or a sober war hero? You saw the debates: Under pressure, Kerry was cool, calm and collected; Bush was a total spaz. Bush is a ticking time-bomb. You really want to give him four more years to go off?"

And, finally: "Hey, the Bush lied about his Vietnam service, he lied about Iraq, and he's lying now just to get your vote. Don't fall for it."

Or, sugar-coat it. Reverse it:
"Hey, I like Bush. He seems like a good guy. I really don't care about his past, or whatever. Kerry's a good guy, too. Served his country honorably, no drug or alcohol problems, solid citizen, regular guy under the stone face. Check out his family. They're all regular people. And he's honest. You gotta trust somebody, right? At least HE promised not to raise taxes. I like that! And no draft, that sounds pretty good to me. We've got enough kids over there already, God bless 'em. At least you know Kerry knows what it's like for them. And the whole health care thing. I dunno. It's a tough call. I'm starting to go towards Kerry. I hate to say it, but I think Bush needs a rest, you know?"

For Brutus is an honourable man...

Or, just: "You saw the debates? Who would you rather trust with your own kids?" If they say, "Bush," they ain't undecided.

Or, just CRACK 'EM UPSIDE THE HEAD!!! That might shake somethin' loose!

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